of drummers and drumbeats...

R-A-N-dom-T-hing-S.. (10/14/07)

2007-10-14T22:00:00.000Z

- i headed straight to sleep the moment my body felt the warmth of our house and the soft pillows on my bed. im not really sure if i was just sleepy, but i felt so tired after the inter-school competition. Of course, the UP powerlifting team dominated the event, but i really havent done much in my weight class. i gained about 5 to 6 kilograms of body weight - 2 years ago, i was in the 60 to 67.5 kg weight division..and two-years is two years. after that sem (2nd sem,2k6), i didnt train regularly on the first sem of the following schoolyear, which was after my KC, and then i finally became inactive in the team on the 2nd sem. That was because i became so busy on so many things - acads, esbi, church youth, career (naks!) - and, the sport was not in my priority list. wonder why i joined the team? ask me. =) anyway, the last competition i joined before i became inactive was also the annual Inter-school competition. it was my second time to compete in the inter-school. My best record in squat was just at 110kg, my bench press was just 65kg, and my deadlift was 145kg. i competed in the 67.5kg division, with my weight resting safely at 65.8kg. There was just two of us who competed in that weight class, so i won second place (the first placer was also from UP powerlifting team). now, i gained about 5kg after two years of eating and not-training (i remember i did aim to gain weight..now i regret that decision i made to eat more than usual - and i seldom regret things..or i try not to regret anything. - and i also ate two slices of sbarro pizza the night before the competition..just great) - i had bad lifts both on my 2nd and 3rd attempts on the squat, making my record remain at my first attempt which was a mediocre 100kg. i also had a bad lift on my 2nd attempt in the deadlift, and the coach didnt let me reach my previous record, so i settled at 135kg on the deadlift. well, at least the bench press made my day..i thought i wont be able to make it, but thank God, i psyched myself enough and i stopped thinking of anything else when the chief referee made the command on my third attempt. the heaviest weight i lifted in my training on the benchpress was 2 reps of 70kg for 4 to 6 sets. i aimed to lift only 75kg - but the good thing was i had good lifts on all three attempts, with no red flags..i wished i could "transfer" at least one good lift to my deadlift or to my squat just so that i could try to break my previous attempt..but, maybe it was really because i didnt train well enough for the squat and the deadlift..i didnt train with the team for this sem because i had to go home early to give time for my acads and some other things - and on my "solo training" after my classes, i only do max attempts on the deadlift and the bench press - and i didnt give much focus on the deadlift too..futsal became my pseudo-plyometric training and assisted my squat (100kg is an easy rep now compared to my previous days)..however, it also became detrimental to my training because i had less time to focus on the 1RMs - and i cant choose not to "train" for futsal, because a PE class is not really included in a normal training program >_<>stop competing raw.

- i now have a new phone. its a Nokia 1600. im satisfied with a 2100 or my current 3315,maybe because i dont know how to use it, or this is not the time for me to learn something "new". hehe. thank you Lord for the blessings, great (the much surprising 80kg!! yehey!) or small (after about 20minutes of mind-wrecking thought, i finally found out how to turn my new phone on! haha)..i lost 2 phones for two consecutive years in my first 2 years in UP. i hope the curse is really gone.

- i finally made myself start studying/reviewing for NMAT. well, i havent really "reviewed" yet, i just tried answering the NMAT practice sets..i had 35/50 on both of the first two parts (verbal test and inductive reasoning), which was not really good if im targeting at least 90 on the actual NMAT, so please do pray for me.

- i wasnt able to attend our youth's joint fellowship with SOFT..which both has its pros and cons..the competition to some extent also served as a stress-release from acads and youth obligations for me..maybe because my "training" wasnt really that stressful..hehe

- i only have 1 week left before the LDMC camp (the pre-camp is on the 21st)..so help me, God..

- tinatamad na akong i-revise ang aking proposal paper =s (at tinamad na din ako mag-
english..>_< hehe).. wala na din naman kasing gaanong iibahin..madami lang talaga akong hindi na-discuss nung presentation..sayang

- i need new strength for this week and the next..i can really feel the fatigue rounding my body..somebody give me a massage..

- i still have to go to UP until thursday this week - meet with tambayan orgheads tomorrow (monday), exec mtg on tues, and mtg with the VSCA and mainlib admin on thursday..i also have to pass my final paper for my 199, work out my EnviSci subject, file my NMAT forms, buy a token for master (for his drumclinic two weeks ago..! wow..), and get kuyas transcript..then after LDMC, we're having a youth leaders retreat on nov.2 and 3, which leaves me less than a week for my "sembreak"..then i have to give time to study for NMAT..ouch.

- im tired..just thinking about what will happen on the next few days and weeks makes me tired..and i will get more tired..its good to know that amidst of everything that surrounds me for the moment, and inspite of my weakness (not just on the squat..hehe!), He does not change, and that He still holds the world..whatever may happen..good lift or bad lift.

Christmas Wishlist 2007

2007-10-12T21:55:00.000Z

For those who care for me (naks andrama..).. here's my christmas wishlist - im posting this as early as now so you could have ample time to look for them in your local stores..and of course, save enough bucks to be able to buy it for me. thank you in advance! =b

1. a Starbucks coffee treat (every other day!..haha joke)
2. Recording Headphones (yung mukhang pang-piloto..i need it for solo practices, band rehearsals, etc..any brand/model will do. =)
3. Kjwan CD (any album)
4. Rhythm Tech RT 7902 Multiclamp or a Gibraltar multipurpose clamp with bar
5. Stanton Moores Take it to the street CD (a study in new orleans street beats and 2nd-line rhythms as applied to funk) or The Art of Playing with Brushes presented by Steve Smith and Adam Nussbaum instructional CD
6. Latin Percussion Stealth Jam Block or RhythmTech 3400 Moon Block
7. Gibraltar single-chain bass drum pedal (i really need to change my 2yr old drumpeds..)
8. LP Joey Castillo Drum Kit Pack (LP1207 Jam Block, LP160 Cyclops Tambourine, Gibraltar SC-AM1 Mounting Bracket)
9. 4 x 14" Gretsch custom snare (stanton moore)
10. Steve Gadd signature sticks (black)
11. Cymbal set..or at least one from the list below.. n_n (not in order):
10" Zildjian ZBT Splash cymbal
16" Zildjian Avedis Rock Crash
12" Zildjian A splash
18" Sabian HHX Ozone Crash cymbal
12" Sabian AAX Ozone splash cymbal
12. Latin Percussion LPA630 Aspire Tunable Djembe
13. Mitshubishi Eclipse GT 2008

DISCLAIMER: the wishlist above is for this coming christmas 2007 (salamat uli charm! you're a good friend! haha).

..simpleng tao lang naman ako. mabait. wish ko lang may matupad na kahit isa lang sa kanila sa darating na pasko. susulat na lang ako sa Wish ko Lang.

Psalm 34 (NIV)

2007-10-10T02:43:00.000Z

..i only have one paper left to do, and then my sem would finally end. i will miss futsal.. and then i have to prepare for my last sem in UP. i will miss UP - to think that until now, there are still moments when being called a "UP student" still is surreal for me,like some dream which managed to escape the shadows that grips the night..

>> Excitement - that UP will be celebrating its one hundred years of existence, making the coming graduation a more special event to the whole UP community. It might be a mere coincidence - graduating while UP also celebrates its 100 years - but how can it not be so special when you have to wait for another hundred years just for this coincidence to happen again? somehow, a hundred years of existence is hard to comprehend..not because its difficult to count to a hundred, but because there is no one in this present world who have done counting by a number per year until he counts to a hundred..there are people who lived up to a hundred and had bonuses of a number of years (the longest i know is 115 years..?), but i dont think they had kept track of their count, if ever they had counted their years.

>> A heightened sense of things - i really like the way Leonidas' Spartan feelings were put into words when he was immersed into the wilderness in the movie 300 (ahoo! ahoo!). it somehow captures what i feel most of the time when something is going to happen. i feel that something big is going to happen, whether good or bad, and then i prepare my mind and soul for it.

i try not to be anxious. i try not to fear. being anxious is just like terrorizing yourself..like driving an 18-wheeler cargo truck up to 120kph in an edge of a cliff with the knowledge that your brakes doesnt work. anxiety is when you subject yourself to psychological and emotional (sometimes, it can even lead to physical..) stress that you yourself have elicited. its cause is internal. You fear things that are not around you, but comes from your own thoughts. You are anxious because you let yourself become anxious. You dont need a terrorist to make yourself worry and be anxious, you just need to fix your thoughts well enough into such a state - and quite many have already perfected the skill, that most of the time its automatic, and its hard to control once it has started. isnt it funny to think that when you become anxious, you worry for something that is still indefinite or have a 50:50 chance and can still turn out good, but you already are suffering psychological and emotional stress which leads to hormonal imbalances, fatigue, psychosomatic illnesses, and sometimescan even lead to heart problems (researches have already proven that stress is a risk factor to heart problems.), just because you have let yourself get worried? haha.

But on the other hand, there is some logic to being anxious or to worrying. You worry because you are aware that there are factors which you cannot control - that chaos happens. You become anxious because you know that whatever happens around your current environment or state will affect you or your plans. Also, as the number of uncontrollable variables in your environment increases, your tendency to worry and be anxious also increase. But to cut it short, worry or anxiety is a normal and a very natural response to the unpredictable behavior of your surroundings. However, the 'natural response' isnt always the best response..like porcupines (are they rodents??) who responds to touch by sticking out their protective but piercing skin outgrowths (are they hairs?? someone answer me.), even when they touch their own kind.
well, a logical problem can be solved by a logical solution. The simplest solution to anxiety is just accepting that you do not, and you cannot control the things around you. You just have to accept that however well-planned your schedule is, and how many plan B's and plan C's you may have, you still wont know what will happen tomorrow. You do not control the world. You cant even control the time. So what do we have to do? Do we have to stop planning? its an option, but its not the best.

Like little children who waits on their parents for almost everything, we just have to trust the one who controls almost everything..trusting is like giving up and surrendering all your 'rights' to worry about things that are outside of your control and your many predispositions and thoughts,whilst accepting the knowledge that it will turn out for the better - and even if it doesnt, you are still assured that He still controls the things that surround you, and you can trust Him again.

..so now, thrill and a heightened sense of things are in me. One last sem and then i will leave UP and enter another world..about a hundred and more days will have to pass one day at a time, all with their own varying number of uncontrollable variables, before i get to have a "glimpse" of my "future." Three more weeks before i start my last semester in UP..Twenty-one-plus more days to go, 24 hrs per day..what will happen? will everything turn out well? i just saw in CRS that i wasnt enlisted in Thesis class for next sem. i currently have a problem with one MST subject, Environmental Science 1, which i have taken four years ago, and i would have to add another unit if i dont settle the matter on time. i have to study for NMAT in less than two months. i am still not sure if i will pursue medicine. 220 people are going to LDMC, with the campsite having a capacity for only 200 people. The IVCF vehicle cant be used to transport materials to the campsite. i have this one paper left to do, which i havent started yet, and i need to read plenty of resources to support my points, and i have to finish it before thursday. CBC leadership council meeting will be held this coming thursday and friday, and i am entitled to come (or so i think..i miss u tagaytay!!). We havent had our Exec meeting for 2 weeks (i miss u exec!)..and plenty of other things. But i trust in the Lord. And there always comes a wonderful feeling when he proves to me that He is worthy of my trust, and that He holds the world, even me.

try it for yourself. taste and see that the Lord is good indeed.

2007-10-06T00:36:00.000Z

I will love you still in the morning...

even if the pouring rain seems to have no end
and the stars hide their fiery sparks under the clouds.

the days may have been so lonely..
and you seem to be so far away.
yet, i will love you still.

i will love you still in the morning...

even when everything seems to fade to gray
and then darkness sets in.

the light from your promises defy the many shadows that surround me.
and i will remember them.
and so i cant stop from loving you still.

i will love you still in the morning...

even before the rising sun shows its first ray of light
or even before the birds sing to the coming of the day.

it is you - you alone who brings me joy..
just the thought of you - your extravagant love
your grace so amazing - it makes me love you still.

i will love you still in the morning...

even when my eyes fail to witness the sunrise
and my flesh becomes so frail.

illness might overcome my body..
but you are the strength of my soul
my heart and my soul hopes upon you - and i love you still.

i will love you still in the morning...

your love brings me joy...
your love brings me peace.

your love brings me more and more to you.
i cannot contain it.
and so with all my heart, i will love you still.

how can i not think of you, when everything i see speaks of you?
how can i forget you, when everything i own is from you?
and everything is all about you.

my heart will decay if i should refrain from your love, from your presence
if i should deny how much i need you
and that i should love you
and there is no reason that i should stop from loving you.

RAN-dom-T-hought-S

2007-10-03T18:44:00.000Z

- yey! salamat Lord sa bagong rubbershoes. woohoo! salamat sa dalawa kong muse na sila blesscille at johanna lise. salamat sa pagsama paikot ikot sa esem para sa hanapin ang "The One" na shoes. gusto ko kasi ay all-terrain or cross-training na shoes, para bumagay sa mga kalikutan ko sa Kolehiyo ng Pantaong Kinetika. hehe. pero ang shoes na nabili namin ay running shoes. ok lang, naisip ko kasi na running shoes ang kalimitang ginagamit as "drumming shoes" (medyo mabigat nga lang yung adidas..pero nagra-rhyme naman - running/drumming..yehey!), at medyo konti na lang ang sport ko sa aking huling sem sa UP (pero iniisip kong mag extra PE ulit ng futsal.. =)

- blesscille, sayang talaga yung 3 games sa free shoot-out ng Toby's!!! pero malabo naman talaga yung free shoot-out na yun. ang mechanics kasi, every P1000 worth ng purchase ng ANY product nila, may libreng isang game. eh pano yun, RUNNING SHOES ang binili ko, hindi BASKETBALL SHOES..diba dapat FREE RUN ang meron ako, instead na FREE SHOOT-OUT??? tsktsk..duuuhh....

- mali talaga ang sistema ng sbarro. kelangan nila magdagdag ng cashier booth.

- hindi ko naiblog ang mga pangyayari nung nakaraang dalawang linggo. napaka-busy kasi. ang grim at agonizing din naman nung 2 weeks na yun. pero gusto ko pa din sila iblog. pero after na ng proposal ko sa tuesday.or, after manood ng resident evil 3. haha

-transformers ang huli kong napanood na sine sa sinehan.

- hindi ko pa din makalimutan yung pilit kong itinayp na draft ko na blog sa gitna ng kabusyhan- tuwang tuwa kasi ako sa natype ko - pero sa notepad ko lang tinayp, inupload, pero di sinave sa PC...ayun, naglaho na ang "draft" at hindi na muling maibabalik..

- hindi ko magawa ang mga kelangan kong dapat gawin. hindi ko pa kasi nauubos yung dinner ko na siomai with soup..unfinished business ang siomai. kelangan muna tapusin bago gumawa ng iba. kelangan ko pa din pala muna magtimpla ng kape bago ko gawin yung kelangan ko gawin.

- naha-hyper ako. baka dahil sa San Mig strong coffee??

- ewan ko ba kung ulyanin ako, hindi organized, or Hyper-Mode lang talaga..pero every now and then, lagi kong inaalala ang mga kelangan kong gawin sa mga susunod na tatlong araw..tatlong araw! usually, nagaalala lang ako ng ganun kapag 1 whole week ang jampacked...but no..3 days lang! argh..nakakafrustrate mafrustrate. (-_-). sana nababawasan ang mga kelangan gawin sa simpleng pagaalala sa kanila..kaso hindi.

- < may naisip akong next na itatype na para sa line na ito, pero dahil mahaba yung previous line, nalimutan ko na.. >

- ang primitive. isang buong mag-umaga akong nakaharap sa PC..nagreresearch para sa isang paper (10 'abstracts'..kelangan gumawa ng sariling mga abstracts ng mga research theses tungkol sa ergogenic aids and nutrition..ibig sabihin, kelangan din basahin yung 10 theses na yun.). naka-upload sa net yung notes ko para sa exam bukas sa isang subject..inencode ko yung notes from powerpoint to notepad. ready na ang paper, ink, microsoft word, at ako sa pagprint. tenen! walang ink! argh.. (>_<) virtually, i wasted about 3 hours of my time sa pag-encode..pero ok lang..primitive, dahil ngayon, isusulat ko na lang yung notes sa aking notebook ('notes' sa 'notebook'..makes sense..?)..at yun nga ang "kelangan kong gawin" ngayon, hindi magblog.

-inubos ko muna yung siomai with soup at nagtimpla ng kape bago ko gagawin tlaga ang kelangan ko gawin. pero mamaya ko na iupload to. well, at least, na-overcome ko ang urge to upload..at na-overcome ko din pala ang temptation na gamitin ang Liwayway gawgaw sa kape, ubos na pala kasi ang gatas, at pareho naman silang puti. - mukhang hindi na naman ako makaka-train bukas, kung mapupuyat ako ngayon. argh. walang kwentang cycle, di na nasunod kahit kelan.. =(

- hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa din ma-gets ang pagkakaiba ng LACTATE at LACTIC ACID, at kung ano ang relevance ng kanilang pagkakaiba. kung ikaw ay matiyagang nagbasa nito, at alam mo ang pagkakaiba nila..PLEASE, pakisabi sa akin bago ako grumadweyt. salamat. -eniwey, magsusulat na talaga ako.andami. =s get ready hand and finger flexor and extensor muscles!

- after ng isang page (2 columns, size 8 font, arial) ng "reverse encoding" (pagsulat ng notes from microsoft word..), pinasingit ko si mami sa paggamit ng PC. dapat inaral ko yung mga sinulat ko na, pero hindi..nagpraktis ako ng rudiments..nung napagod ang aking extrinsic forearm muscles, naalala kong hindi ko dapat ginawa yun dahil magsusulat pa ako...owel..- nung pinasingit ko si mami, nag-error etong notepad, at hindi pa ako nadala, dahil hindi ko sinave..ayun, nung ise-save ko na, hindi na maretrieve..magwawala na sana ako, buti na lang Hyper-windang-mode ako ngayon. pero syempre, salamat kay Lord at nabuksan ko ngayon. nyahahaha!!

thesis mode...

2007-09-19T01:01:00.000Z

para sa kanya na wala pang pangalan...

"kung hahayaan lang sana ng kalawakan na ika'y makita kinabukasan
baka sakaling mapawi ang pagod ng aking hapong katawan..."

iisipin ko na lang na para sa iyo ang proposal...para masaya...
bwahaha!

kailan ba kita makikilala?

2007-09-03T23:06:00.000Z

masaya ako ngayon. naka-GOAL ako kanina sa FUTSAL..woohoo!!!

..isa ang Futsal sa mga bagay ngayon na nakakapagpasaya sa akin. Hindi ko naman pers taym na maka-Goal..pero wala lang..masaya. =)

Tatlong games kami kanina, 2 goals per game (pwedeng tie..basta 2 goals made, tapos na ang laro.). Ewan ko ba kung bakit napapayag nilang mag-Goal keeper ako sa first two games. ayoko mag Goal keeper, una sa lahat, dahil hindi ako marunong talaga (hindi ako sanay na mang-block ng bola gamit ang kamay ko, so minsan, nagta-tumbling pa talaga ako para lang magamit paa ko..hehe), pangalawa, dahil hindi ako nakakatakbo (hindi ako nakabili ng dyaryo kanina, wala akong mabasa habang naghihintay ng kalaban..at mahirap magenjoy ng laro nang hindi,o madalang lang na tumatakbo (>_<), at pangatlo, hindi naman talaga tinuturuan ang PE class ng mga strategies ng game (minsan, parang "agawan buko" ang laro, nagkukumpulan, walang triangle, walang man-to-man, etc..)kaya mahirap mag-Goal keeper! hehe..eniwey, ayun. Siguro, pumayag na din ako mag Goal Keeper dahil nung mga nakaraang klase ay nabababad ako sa laro. pero syempre, ang mababait kong mga kaklase ay pumapayag lang na mag-Goal Keeper kapag pagod na sila (dahil madalang nga tumakbo ang goal keeper..) so ayun, nung third game lang ako nakatakbo talaga. medyo advantage para sa team namin, dahil lamang kami ng isang player, although skill wise ay sobrang wala kaming maipapalag.. Hindi naging madali yung third game, dahil nung unang part ng laro ay puro attempts ng kalaban. Hindi ko na talaga maalala kung paano na-shift ang equilibrium (na-out of bounds ata..), pero biglang nalipat sa kabilang court ang bola. Ayan na. Mabilis ang mga pangyayari. Dalawang beses ko nasaksihan na nasa ere ang bola. Yung unang pagkakataon na nasa ere ang bola, dulot ng goal kick ng goalkeeper namin, nasa back ako, playing defense (na supposed position ko talaga palagi..dahil nakakatakot mag-forward, bawal ang lampa.haha)..ang galing ni teammate! although hindi natamaan ng heading nya ang bola, sumakto naman sya, so naturn over samin ang possession..pero hindi pumasok sa goal..naka-ilang goal kick at inbound ang kalaban matapos nun..at unti-unti, umaangat ang pwesto ko (binabantayan ko din kasi yung isang kalaban na forward..malabo..)..napunta ako sa may midfield - sa isip ko, depensa pa din ang laro ko. Kami na ang nag-aattempt na mag-Goal, at naging madalang ang turnover ng bola sa kalaban. Mga ilang attempts uli at ilang inbound at goal kick ang lumipas, ayan - ang ikalawang paglipad ng bola..medyo mataas, at may hang time..goalkeeper ng kalaban ang sumipa.binabantayan ko yung kalaban kanina..nasa midfield kami, right wing..nakatingala ako. nakatingala din sya. nang papalapit na ang bola.. *tugudoinks!!!* may mga bituin akong nakita..nauntog ako sa ulo nya..nagtawanan mga klasmeyt namin na nakaupo..comment ni sir, "di bale, pareho naman kayong kalbo".. (o_0) play on.. naalog talaga ang utak ko, at naging disoriented..naalala ko na medyo nakapikit ang isa kong mata..nahilo (hanggang ngayon, masakit pa yung ilong ko at kanang mata)..apir sa klasmeyt at konting ngiti at tango..play on nga..bola namin..attempt..wala..hindi ko na maalala ang mga lumipas na mga pangyayari, pero dumating sa point na nag goal kick ang kalaban, at nasangga ko, pero paling ang sipa (>_<)..isa lang ang bantay, at dalawa kami..hinabol nung ka-teammate ko (na sit in galing sa sunod na class..)..nasa gitna yung kalaban..takbo kami ng mabilis.."Go, GO!" -sigaw ko..nadala namin ang bola sa goal..hawak ng kateammate ko..tumama sa bakal..nagcomment si sir "wag mo naman itama sa bakal..blahblah.." di ko na ulit alam yung mga sunod na nangyari..disoriented pa din ako sa pagkakauntog..pero matapos ang goal kick, pasahan, at ilang sigawan, nagulat na lang ako na hawak ko ang bola..haha, defense! (o_0) wala akong choice..walang kakampi, isa lang ang kalaban..lagpas na ako sa midfield, pero medyo right wing pa din..wag na magisip..takbo na lang..pagtapat ko sa goal keeper, hindi ko alam kung pano nangyari, pero sinipa ko yung bola sa kaliwa..so medyo parang "fake" na hindi, dahil nakatingin ako nang diretso..haha! natuwa ang mga nakaupo naming klasmeyts - hindi naman siguro dahil sa akin, pero ibig sabihin kasi, tapos na ang laro namin, at sila naman ang maglalaro..nakakatuwa pala pero nakakalungkot..na tapos na - at masakit mauntog sa ulong kalbo.. (>_<)

2007-08-22T11:24:00.000Z

...argh. The 1st draft for my thesis proposal is due tomorrow..im just taking a "blog-break" from all the crazy related-literature-reviewing and eye-drooling-PC-staring..guess what..i havent started the actual paper yet, but my head is already close to screaming its brain stuff out (you know, the gray and white matter, pia matter, dura matter..etc.), so i took the liberty of having this blog-break..i like this song by Casting Crowns..its musicality is pretty much arguable..the drum section isnt that flashy,but it doesnt matter..its a song, not a drum solo/exhibition..

Praise You in this storm

By Casting Crowns

I was sure by now God you would have reached down
and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen that it's still raining
as the thunder rolls, I barely hear your whisper through the rain, I'm with you
and as your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And i'll praise you in this storm,and i will lift my hands
that you are who you are, no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried you hold in your hand
you never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
you heard my cry-you raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find you

as the thunder rolls, I barely hear your whisper through the rain, I'm with you
and as your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.

[Chorus]

Bridge: I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

[Chorus]and though my heart is tornI will praise you in this storm

..it shows an attitude of true focus on God, our deepest need- true "seeking His kingdom" first..'though my heart is torn, i will praise You in this storm'..it recognizes that the world does not revolve around us..it reminds us that we are to serve God, and not vice versa - to praise Him no matter what..sometimes we tend to complain when things dont go our way, or if it seems that God is "unfair"..we pray, thinking that God will move based only on our shallow words - and then when our 'prayers' arent met, it would be His fault, and we might even think that God should say sorry and redeem Himself because of our disappointments and storms..we should be reminded - be always humble to remind ourselves - of our true state: we are but the work of His hands, and He - He is the God who gives and takes away..we should try to put the words "mercy" and "grace" in front of our materially-saturated eyes, because we depend only in His hands..I also liked the bridge part of the song, because it has one of my favorite-est psalm from the Bible (sa Psalm122 ata..)..maybe we should always try to ask ourselves that question..too bad, those tall buildings covered our view of the hills, the smog replacing the blue sky, and the ashpalt and cement roads covering the earth..too bad..but at least we're always weak and dependent and frail - whatever mask we may wear..its up to us to recognize it.

2007-08-17T03:25:00.001Z

(Background music: Paco de Lucia by Chick Corea)

..maaari ba akong umasang muli sa langit na ikaw ay darating?? ..mistulang ika'y malapit lamang, kayang aabutin ng aking mga kamay kung maaari, ngunit iba ang sinasabi ng mga pagkakataon. Wala ka. Darating ka pa nga ba? Palagi man abangan ang tunog ng iyong pagdating..gaano pa man hintayin ang kakaiba ngunit masarap na pakiramdam ng iyong pagdating - hindi ito magiging sapat. Bakit nga ba kita inaasahang dumating? Dahil ikaw ang magbibigay ng ngiti sa aking yamot na mga labi, at ng pahinga sa aking pagod na katawan..sa gabi, ikaw ay magdudulot ng saya sa aking pagtulog..sa umaga, hindi ko na siguro maaaring bigkasin ang saya na aking madarama kapag alam kong nariyan ka. Ngunit wala ka nga, at nanatiling nakagakos sa akin ang pagod na may dalang kaunting lungkot..

Mga ilang araw kitang hinintay. Nakatingala sa langit at iniisip ka. Tinatanaw sa gabi ang paglitaw ng mga tala - marahil ay nakatingin ka din at nag-aabang - ngunit pati ang mga bituin sa langit ay hindi nagpapakita ng sigla..kung nagkataon na narito ka, hindi ko na kailangan tumitig sa mga tala. Hindi ko din naman kasi kakayanin na iwalay ang tingin sa iyo. Bakit nga ba wala ka? Darating ka ba? Hindi ko alam. Hindi mo din naman kasi siguro alam na may naghihintay sa iyo, at umaasa sa iyong pagdating.

Ngunit matapos ang ilang malulungkot na gabi, at mga araw na pinaparaos na lamang, nagbago ang panahon..ito na nga ba ang matagal na hinihintay? Pero baka hindi ikaw..baka nalilinlang lamang ako ng sariling imahinasyon, o ng mga pagkakataon at mga bagay na nagpapahiwatig na nariyan ka. Kinailangan na maging maingat..tumingin na lang muli sa langit at umasa.

Hindi pala ako namalikmata. Nariyan ka na nga! At ang lakas ng dating mo..umabot sa 250kph ang lakas ng iyong hangin. limang araw din tuloy na mawawalan ng pasok, hiwalay pa sa dalawang araw nung nakaraang linggo..salamat sa iyo, nagbunga ka ng ngiti sa aking mga labi..at ngayon, wala na namang pasok! yehey!!!

>>Para kay...Egay, at kay Dodong (o dodoy??) na din..salamat sa inyo, mga superhero ko na supertyphoon...

DISCLAIMER: Mali ang iniisip mo, walang kinalaman ang background music..at hindi senti yun..haha anlabo.. =b

Oras matapos ang Oras (Time after Time)

2007-08-09T15:33:00.000Z

Mag-aalas singko na pala ng umaga - ibig sabihin, kailangan ko na magmadali. Susulitin ko na lang ang kung ano man ang natapos kong aralin sa mga nagamit kong oras - at para sa mga oras na nakatulala lang ako sa kawalan - paalam na sa kanila, dahil hindi na sila maibabalik.. Kailangan na magmadali..

Pero bakit kaya?

Bakit hindi na maibabalik ang oras? Isang direksyon lang kasi ang takbo ng oras - at pantay pantay ang takbo nito. Pwede nga kayang bumalik sa nakaraan? Posible nga kaya yung "Back to the Future"? Maaari lang ito kung nakaukit na ang mga pangyayari ng nakaraan at kinabukasan, at sa atin nakasalalay ang mga pagbabago. Pero masyadong magulo iyon. Siguro kapag nagkasundo ang lahat ng tao sa mundo na bumalik sa oras, magagawa natin - pero hindi nga, dahil masyado na tayong magulo para pa gawin ang mas magulo, at lilinlangin lang natin ang ating mga sarili. Kung sa bagay, kahit na bumalik tayo sa oras, tumatakbo pa din ito. Hindi pa din natin matitinag ang oras.

Anong saya kaya ang maidudulot kung madadagdagan ko ng isang oras ang relo? Pwede ko sigurong gawing paumanhin na dalawamput limang oras ang tinatakbo ng relo ko, kaya mas madami akong oras. Pero hindi nga. Kahit ano ang mangyari, hindi ito pwedeng dagdagan o bawasan. Sa lahat ng imbensyon, talino, o ano pang kakayanan ng tao, ito lang siguro ang naiiba. Hindi ito tulad ng kalawakan, o ang kalaliman ng karagatan na maaari pang tuklasin. Ang oras ay hindi na maaari at hindi na natin kakayanin pang galawin o pakialaman.

Bakit kailangan magmadali? Hindi naman kasi nag-iiba ang bilis o bagal ng oras. Patuloy lang itong nauubos at nauubos, at wala tayong ibang magagawa dito kundi ang sulitin ang bawat segundo. Para tuloy tayong inuutusan ng oras - ang tao ay pawang mga alipin. Haha. Nakakatawa na inuutusan tayo ng oras. Ang tao, na nabubuhay sa pagmamalaki ng sarili, at pagmamaliit ng iba batay sa mga nagawa nito sa nagdaang panahon ay oras ay parepareho lang na mga alipin. Kahit na sino ka pa man, wala kang magagawa. Sasabay ka din - sasabay at sasabay lang sa hagupit ng maliit na kamay ng bawat segundo.

Walang katapusan? Kailan nga kaya matatapos ang oras? Baka kapag naubos na ang lahat ng relo sa mundo - wala na tayong batayan ng oras. Pero hindi pa rin. Wala nga tayong magawa para baguhin lamang kahit katiting nito, paano pa kaya natin maiwawaksi ang pamumuno nito? Sa pamumuno nito sa ating buhay - wala na tayong magagawa.

Nakakatawa naman pala tayo. Mga tao. Akala natin kontrolado natin ang lahat. Sa mga inaasikaso at mga pinagkakaabalahan, nagpapaka-hari tayo sa ating sari-sariling paraan. Maliit man o malaking bagay ay pinagbubuhusan natin ng lakas para maitaas ang walang iba kundi ang ating sarili. Palagi tayong may pagnanasa sa pansariling kasiyahan at kaluwalhatian. Kahit sa pakikitungo sa kapwa nating tao, umaasta tayo na parang may malaking pagkakaiba. Pero parepareho lang pala tayo. Pare parehong nasa ilalim lang ng tatlong kamay ng oras. Pare pareho din pala tayong mauubusan. Haha. Mga walang kwenta - mga kawawa. Mawawala din ang lahat. Mawawala ka din. Sayang lang.

Kung may mata at bibig siguro ang oras, o kung isa din itong pisikal na nilalang, namatay na siguro ito sa katatawa sa atin. Pero ang problema, hindi nga ito pwedeng mamatay. Hindi ito pwedeng mawala, dahil ito ang may kapit sa bawat isa sa atin. Pwede siguro natin isipin na isa itong halimaw: malupit na halimaw na hindi tayo pinakakawalan. Pwede din na tulad ng isang orc: walang maayos na pag-iisip, takbo lang ng takbo, pero malakas pa din, at madadamay pa din tayong mga walang laban at mga kawawa. Ano nga kaya? Siguro, hindi ito talaga pwedeng maging halimaw - dahil mas kaawa awa tayo nun, hindi ba?

Saan ba nanggaling ang oras? Isa din itong nilalang, pero kakaiba sa atin. Siguro, hindi ito nilalang para may batayan tayo ng ating mga kwento at kasaysayan, kundi para may paalala din sa atin ng kahinaan. Oras. Oras na para mabuhay. Oras na para magsaya. Oras na para pumanaw. Tao lang tayo. Tao lang. Baka nakakalimutan natin - haha, hindi natin pwedeng malimutan ang ating kahinaan dahil sa hindi nga nawawala ang oras. Mas nakakatawa tayo kung hinahayaan lang natin itong tumakbo at hindi pinapansin ang mas malalim na layunin nito. Anong klaseng tao ang naguubos ng lakas sa napakaraming bagay, pagkakataon, at mga tao, habang hindi pinapahalagahan ang oras? Mas malala pa siguro ang taong iyon sa relo na basag ang salamin na mukha. Ang galing dahil may nakaunawa na din ng halaga ng oras.

"The length of our days is seventy years— or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. "

Nakasulat sa Awit 90:10 at 12 (NIV). Sapat na ba ang 70 o 80 taon? Mabilis lang itong mawawala - hindi mo na kasi mapapabagal ang oras, o mababalikan ang lumipas nang panahon. Tunay nga na kailangan natin ng talino at unawa sa pagmatyag sa oras na tumatakbo, at oras na nalalabi. Sayang ang lahat kung hindi natin ito ninais. Kung gayon man, paano natin haharapin ang isang bagay na lubhang mas malaki sa atin? Lubhang mas malaki, na hindi na natin ito magagalaw at wala na tayong magagawa. Kailangan natin ng Isang mas malaki. Saan nga ba nanggaling ang oras? Isa lang din itong nilalang, at kailangan natin kilalanin ang Lumalang. Bakit kaya tayo kailangan paalalahanan ng oras? Siguro, dahil madali natin malimutan na mga nilalang din tayo, at nalilimutan natin kung bakit tayo narito. Nalilimutan natin ang lumalang sa atin. Ang tao ay pawang mga nilalang lamang - at walang karapatan na maghari sa kanilang mga sarili o anuman.

Kawawa nga ba tayo? Kung kawawa tayo, hindi siguro tayo paaalalahanan ng Lumalang sa atin. Mahal siguro Niya tayo kaya may oras. Mahal Niya tayo. Nalulunod nga lang tayo sa ating mga sariling interes, pagmamataas sa sarili, pagaabala sa mga bagay na mawawala din, at iba pa. Nalilimutan natin ang Siyang lumalang sa atin. At nariyan ang oras, marahil ay humahalakhak sa bawat pagkakamali at pagsasayang.

2007-08-03T12:51:00.000Z

Naalala ko nung nagpunta kami sa aming mahal na probinsya, sa mindoro, nito lang nakaraang summer.. Dalawang beses kami nagpunta - isa nung April (holy week), at isa nung May.. Sobrang na-enjoy ko ang bakasyon doon kahit ilang araw lang (overnight lang nung una, at friday hanggang sunday yung ikalawa) - naka-"takas" ako sa mga commitment at mga pinagkakaabalahan.. Naenjoy ko ang byahe sa barko, ang muling makita ang Calapan Pier, ang magulo at "mala-probinsyang" palengke sa bayan, ang muling makapunta sa bahay namin doon, ang makita ang aking mga pinsan, ang magbabad sa mga libreng beach, ang pagpunta sa ilog, ang matulog, ang kumain, at iba pa. Naging oras din yun para maka-habol sa bilis ng takbo ng buhay - o kahit papaano ay panandaliang makahinga sa pagtakbo. Matagal na kaming hindi nakadalaw sa mindoro - mga lima o walong taon na siguro, pero mabuti at hindi pa umabot ng 10 years.

Nung nakaraang semestre, pinangarap kong magpabigat ng timbang. Subalit sa gitna ng aking pagpapagal (o pagkain ng madami..), wala pa ding nangyayari. Nung nagpunta kami ng mindoro, limang kilo ata ang nadagdag sa akin - dalawa lang pala, o wala pa talaga sa dalawang kilo, pero ayos na din. Pano ba naman kasi, wala kaming ginawa kundi kumain, matulog, kumain, magswimming, kumain, kumain, matulog. Ang pinagkaiba lang siguro nung una at ikalawang punta namin, mas madaming pagkain nung pangalawa. Salamat sa Diyos sa pahinga at sa saganang hapag kainan.

Naenjoy ko ang swimming, hindi lang dahil libre. Nakakatuwa na naiba naman kahit minsan ang aking mga nakikita. Dati, puro bus, usok, ibat ibang mga mukha, basura, mga building, at iba pa - napalitan ito ng nakakasawang luntian ng mga puno, ng banayad na dagat at ng maaliwalas na kalangitan. Parang nasa ibang dimensyon. Iba ang mukha ng sunset sa mindoro kumpara sa maynila. Iba din ang kalangitan kapag gabi. Hindi mo maiisip na madilim, dahil sa liwanag na bigay ng buwan at mga tala. Naalala ko nung KC sa Bacolod, puno din ng bituin ang langit twing gabi, maliban na lang kung uulan sa umaga. Pero minsan kahit maulap, tila lumalaban ang liwanag na dala ng mga bituin sa gabi. Nung isang pagkakataon pa nga, habang oras ng Small Groups ay nakasaksi kami ng shooting star (ano ba sa tagalog yun??? (o_0) ). Mabilis itong dumausdos sa kalawakan - sandali lang ang liwanag, ngunit sapat na ito upang hindi mapansin ang bumabalot na dilim ng gabi. Nung Youth camp ngayon ding nakaraang summer, nakita ko din kung paano tinadtad ng mga bituin ang kalangitan ng Rizal. Kaunting tingala lang sa gabi, bawi na ang pagod nang nagdaang araw. Hindi ako kapre o manananggal, o kung ano mang halimaw na lumilitaw at lumalakas lamang sa gabi.. Nakakatulong lang sa akin ang makakita ng tala sa gabi na alalahanin ang kabutihan ng Diyos - at hindi Siya nagbabago, tulad ng hindi pagbabago ng paglitaw ng mga bituin.

Madalas na gabi ako nakakauwi nitong mga nakaraang linggo dahil sa gabi matapos ang Exec meeting, BigF, paglalamiyerda, at dahil nagbalik ako sa pagtrain sa Powerlifting Team ng UP. Minsan, inaabot ako ng 12am sa paguwi. Ngunit habang naglalakad sa kalye, o kahit habang nakasakay sa isang sasakyan na bumabaybay sa kalsada pauwi, kaunti lang ang bituin na nakikita ko - at hindi ito dahil lang sa may artipisyal na ilaw na sa mga kabahayan na tinatabunan ang liwanag ng mga bituin. Tag-ulan ngayon sa Pilipinas. Kaya maulap. Kaya madilim ang kalangitan. Pero wala namang dumadating na ulan. Tila gusto lang talaga takpan ng mga ulap ang kalangitan at tabunan ang mga tala, upang mapansin naman sila.

Baka kapag umulan, mawawala din ang mga nakaharang na mga ulap - pero hindi nga umuulan. Bakit maulap kahit hindi umuulan? Nakakapagod isipin. Bakit kaya maulap kahit hindi umuulan? Nagiging mas mahirap tuloy na alalahanin ang ilang mga pagkakataon at mga bagay na parang naging kaugnay o kasama na sa paglitaw ng mga tala. Tinakpan sila ng mga walang hanggang mga ulap. Nagiging madali na isipin na baka hindi na sila magbalik at magpakita ulit..

Pero oo nga, hindi dahil sa hindi mo nakikita ang isang bagay ay hindi na ito totoo o naglaho na ito. Oo nga, kahit natatabunan ng ulap ang mga bituin, hindi dapat hayaan na matabunan din ang pag-asa na nariyan pa din sila at darating ang araw na magniningning sila ulit.

July, week four

2007-07-27T14:06:00.000Z

ang haba ng linggong ito...

oo nga, wala ngang pasok nung monday, pero kulang pa din pala ang oras...

o hindi naman talaga kulang - kahit ano naman kasi ang mangyari, wala na tayong magagawa para bawasan o dagdagan pa ang oras...tinapos ko lang kasi ang Heroes nung monday - dahil mahaba din ang linggo ko last week...ewan ko kung bakit ko nagustuhan yun kahit na sobrang new age ang mga pilosopiya at kontexto ng palabas..pero yun na lang ang pahinga ko.

ang galing! nakakatuwa yung power ni Peter Petrelli na nakakaabsorb nya yung powers ng kung sino malapitan nya - una nyang nakuha (na nagamit nya) ay ang paglipad - sumunod na lang yung iba: invisibility, 'future painting', regeneration, etc..sayang nga lang, hindi niya alam gamitin. oh well..mga lima o anim na oras din ata ako nakahilata lang at nanonood nun - matagal ko nang hindi nagawa yun, dahil nga sa aking "vow" na "hindi manonood ng tv" on purpose, o kung masasayang oras ko. ok lang naman siguro yun, dahil inisip ko muna kung may kelangan pa ba akong gawin..nung wala na akong maalala, saka lang ako nanood.

gabi na ako nag-aral para sa recitation sa tuesday..tuesday ako nagprepare para sa FG sa wednesday..mali pala ako. kailangan na pala i-compile ang related literature para subject ko sa Research, at ipass sa thursday..hindi ko pa kasi natatapos basahin yung mga resources ko. tuesday ko natapos basahin - ayun, hindi ko naicompile, at syempre, hindi ko naipasa..pero madami kaming hindi nakapagpasa..malabo naman kasi ang instructions nya (ng prof..) kung ano ang gagawin - bukod pa dun, hindi pa nya (ng prof ulit..) ibinabalik yung mga nauna naming papers (every week may paper kami..) kaya hindi namin alam kung ano ang pagkakasunod sunod..at bukod pa dun, may paper din ako sa isa pang subject (Methods of Physical Conditioning) na may paper din every week..at ang paper na ipapass for this week ay bulk na daw ng final paper (ico-compile daw kasi lahat, then edit, then yun na ang final paper..) namin, kaya yun ang pinagtuunan ko ng pansin..

at bukod pa dun...

sa totoo lang, sa tingin ko, kaya ko sanang gawin yung dalawang paper na yun ng buong wednesday -natapos ko din naman kasi basahin ang mga sources ko para sa dalawang paper na yun nung tuesday pa lang (mahirap maging OC sa pagbabasa ng sources.. (>_<) )..pero ayos! biglang nagbrown out ng 9:45am ng wednesday.. sa kalagitnaan ng pagta-type at pagchachat, biglang tumigil ang mundo (ng elektrisidad)..10:30 na ay wala pa din kuryente..kaya nagdesisyon na lang ako na lumarga na papuntang UP..sa halip na matapos ko yung isang paper sa umaga, yun lang ang ginawa ko magdamag -hanggang alas-3 ng madaling araw - hindi ko na nasimulan yung paper sa Research..

ngayong umaga (friday), as usual, nagquiz kami sa pinakauna kong subject (Adapted PE, 7 to 8:30am) bilang magandang pagbati sa iyong araw..ayos! kakaiba ang quiz nya.."lecture quiz" daw..so nagle-"lecture" sya habang nagqquiz kami - at hindi na namin malaman kung ano ang tanong sa quiz at kung ano ang lecture, at kung ano ba talaga ang tanong..30 items ang "quiz"..badtrip.

nagpagawa ako ng referral letter sa CHK lib, para sa Central Library ng DOH ("DOH Main Library" pa ang tawag ko..)..pumunta ako ng 1pm..alam ko kung pano magpunta galing monumento, pero hindi galing UP (anlabo..)..magkaiba kasi ang pinanggalingan..pero basta, yun..isa na namang araw ng Great Adventures of Billy ang friday na ito..mukha akong ewan sa jeep papuntang Quiapio sa pag-aabang ng "Gen Forbes Street" (sabi ng tatay ko na may sakayan ng jeep papuntang tayuman) pero hindi din ako dun nagpunta, kundi sa Lacson..as usual, ayokong magpahalatang naliligaw ako (nyahaha!) - pero hindi pa naman ako naliligaw..mabuti at saktong napuno yung jeep na nag-aabang, kaya sa next jeep na kami pinasakay - at saktong katabi ko si manong driver sa harap..ayuuuss!

kakaiba ang feeling sa loob ng DOH..siguro din dahil gusto kong isipin na balang araw ay babalik ako dun..(?) pero "gusto" ko lang isipin - hindi ko talaga iniisip..ayoko din magpahalatang first time ko mag-library dun..kaya diretso ako sa desk ng librarian pagpasok at tinanong kung saan ang OPAC..at ayos! nasa kanan ko lang pala..sinabi ko na lang na malabo pandinig ko, kaya hindi ko nakita..salamat sa Diyos sa pagingat nya sa akin..at salamat sa kanya dahil hindi nasayang ang pagpunta ko dun..nahanap ko naman ang ilan sa aking mga kailangan, at mas malinaw na ang nais kong makita para sa Research..hindi na ako nakahabol sa BigF sa esbi..4pm ata nagsasara yung lib, pero maaga ako umalis, mga 3:30 - maaga para makahabol pa sa BigF..pero hindi ko kasi nafigure out agad na madali lang pala bumalik - nakasakay na ako sa LRT1 nang maisip ko..owel...sayang wala akong superpowers tulad ng mga characters sa Heroes..o baka meron naman talaga,.ang problema nga lang,parang yung kay peter na nakakaabsorb lang, at hindi pa ako natatabihan ng meron..pero kahit meron, naging masyadong mahaba na din naman ang linggo ko para magkaroon pa ng lakas para lumipad.

(ang daldal ko na naman sa blog..mas nakakapagod magsalita kaysa magtype..)

transformers

2007-07-14T16:13:00.000Z

(07/11/07; 7:56pm) nalalasahan ko pa ang brocolli, pepperoni, at white sauce sa aking dila nang dumiretso kami sa Cinema6... (tatlong flavor ng sbarro...(o_O) kadiri din pala kapag napuna mo na tatlong flavors na nagkahalo-halo yun..tatlo dude..tatlo... o well.. ganyan ang buhay..buhay matakaw..nyahaha!)

hindi pa ako muling nakakapasok sa sinehan simula nang - - - di ko na maalala kung ano ang pinakahuling movie na napanood ko. ngunit eto na ako ngayon, may hawak ng tiket, at handa nang pumasok. maaga kami ng mga ilang minuto bago ang simula ng palabas (kung ako lang ang manonood, o kung ako ang masusunod, papasok ako anytime kahit sa kalagitnaan ng sine..eniweys...kasama ko sila barbi at bcel.) ilang trailers muna ang lumipas bago nagsimula ang sine. ang mga unang bahagi ay walang naging epekto sa akin. bago ang lahat ng nakikita ko sa screen...

ngunit - nagbago ang lahat nang lumabas si Optimus Prime... isang kakaibang pakiramdam ang dumaloy sa aking mga laman - ang pakiramdam ng dati. pakiramdam ng - - pag-iwan sa pagkain upang umakyat at manood ng tv...isama pa si kuya...paglakas ng volume at pagtalon-talon dahil sa excitement na mapanood ang cartoons; o, gusto ko lang tumalon na walang dahilan; o napapatalon lang talaga ako...pag-aaliw sa sarili sa gumagalaw na mga makukulay na hugis - barilan, lipad, habulan, transform, habulan, lipad...pakiramdam na walang ibang iniisip kundi - - wala talaga - - wala...pakiramdam ng 'aftershock' matapos manood - iniisip na lahat ng laruan ay kayang magtransform...iniisip na ang pulang laruang truck na hawak ko ay si Optimus Prime..sya kasi ang paborito ko nun - hindi lang sya ang bida, kundi dahil sya ang pinakamalaki sa kanila...gusto ko naman din si StarScream, at saka yung helicopter (anu nga ba pangalan nun???..)...

pero iba si Optimus Prime. at nang nagpakita sya sa screen, tila natigil ang mundo ko - nagbalik sa nakaraan - sampung taon mahigit ang nakalipas - sa nakaraan na gumagalaw na mga makukulay na hugis pa lang sila. nakakamiss din pala ang mga panahong iyon - mga panahon na kasama ko pa si kuya at kalaro manood ng tv. mga panahon na walang ibang kelangan isipin - tumalon lang ng tumalon. panahon na kapag natapos ka tumalon, tatalon ka ulit - at pagagalitan ng yaya dahil maingay daw. panahon na hindi na alintana kung ano ang pagkain, kung sbarro man o hindi - dahil hindi ko naman din uubusin. panahon na pinangarap ko dati magkaron ng sasakyan na nagiging robot - panahon na hindi kelangan na may saysay ang lahat.

balik sa aksyon.

medyo naging nakakapagod ang pelikula - halos tatlong oras na puro habulan at transform-an at barilan na hindi tumatalab..pero may aksyon din sakin, dahil nilabanan ko ang pagod na bumibilis ang paghabol dahil nga nakakapagod ang mga pangyayari...syempre, nanalo ang bida - at nabuhay pa nga si bumble bee (hindi na sya Volkswagen, kundi isang Sports Car na Chevrolet (?) - tsktsk...nasira ang simpleng ligaya..sapat na sana na nagiging robot sya). paglabas sa sinehan, parang lahat ng bakal ay bigla na lang mabubuo sa isang hugis na gumagalaw ng sarili, at aatake. pag-uwi, parang bigla may magtransform na bulok na sarao, may hawak na gulok na pulos kalawang- o magtransform yung bus na green na bago kung saan ako nakasakay...o baka pati yung sidecar...

ewan.

last full show yun...pag-uwi ay may dalawang paper ako na minadali - excited pa din kahit hindi naman dapat 'excitement' ang nararamdaman (pano magiging excited kung tapos na??)...mabuti at hindi nagtransform ang PC, kundi, wala ang maipapasa kinabukasan.

DISCLAIMER: oo, wala ako sa mood mag-blog sa English...

outbursts of a human heart

2007-07-01T13:38:00.000Z

i want to be a cardiologist...

im obsessed with hearts...im interested about how the human heart functions, how it could improve performance, and whatever-things about the human heart...i am also dreaming of pumping a human heart with my own hands..then, my dad gave me a novel he read when he was still a college student (that was a loooong time ago..haha) and found out that being a cardiologist is a little different from from being a cardiac surgeon..well, i can be both..

anyway, let tomorrow (or the next two to five years) worry about itself...what i have to worry about right now is my thesis..it might be something about cardiovascular function and exercise - - - and doctors...i 'discussed' it with my dad these past few days, and through his help, perculated my thoughts..he also suggested visiting DOH (Department of Health), NEC (National Epidemiology Center), and PHC (Philippine Heart Center). The thought of going to a hospital, particularly to a hospital with whatever-things about the human heart, and to medical institutions made me feel a little chill of excitement..but now, i have "what-if??"s in my head..what if it isn't God's will? what if i have to go to somewhere else? what if i have to practice or explore other things first? what if this..and what if that.. (or, what if im destined to be a bum..??? haha)

being a Christian might be confusing (well, for me at least..). im excited - and at the same time,i am anxious. i like the thrill of not knowing where to go and what to do next, and most especially, i love to trust in Him about my decisions and His will for me, and find out how i would praise Him for His greatness and awesome work - but i still have the desire and urge to know and nag and be anxious about what's next....i still have a lot to learn...not just about how human hearts work and everything-physiology-and-anatomy, but about how my own human heart would act and respond to His will..

may His will be done indeed in my life. Lord, make me count the cost of obedience, and give me strength to endure and persevere for You. The days You have been faithful to me is innumerable. make me learn to trust You more and more.

all for Your glory.

june 27 2007

2007-06-27T15:52:00.000Z

ayaw ko pa matulog...

gusto kong sulitin ang ika-20 kaarawan ko. kelangan ba maging masaya? o kelangan ba malungkot?

salamat sa Diyos sa mga bumati sa akin. salamat sa mga bumati sa bday ko. di lang dahil naalala nyo ako, pero dahil pinaalala nyo din sa akin na bday ko pala. may mga pagkakataon kasi dati na lumilipas lang tlga ang june27. pero ngayon, sa dinami dami ng binati, di ko nagawang hindi magbalik tanaw sa mga ginawa ni Lord sa akin. salamat uli at pinaalala nyo sa akin, or tinulungan nyo akong mag-alaala. tinulungan nyo din ako na maglook forward sa future. ewan ko lang kung sumobra ba ang paglook forward ko. bigla din akong kinabahan. ewan.

nalulungkot ako dahil kulang sa isang taon na lang ang itatagal ko sa UP Diliman. kakaiba ang bday na to kumpara sa mga lumipas na. parang panibagong yugto tlga ng buhay ko ang tatahakin. kulang sa isang taon na lang para sa pukpukang ministry sa campus. kulang sa isang taon para makapagrelate sa mga estudyante. kulang sa isang taon para mai-share ang buhay ko sa iba. kulang sa isang taon para ibuhos ang napakaraming energy sa napakaraming bagay. ewan. di ko naman naisip na magiibang anyo ako kapag nawala yung "teen" sa edad. pero kahit naman nung teen ako, mukha daw akong matanda (ayaw lang nilang sabihing 'mature' at pogi..nyahaha!). andaming kelangan harapin. kahit ngayon pa lang, sa pagtatapos ng 2007 ay nakikita ko nang madaming mangyayari. Thesis. Esbi. NMAT. mga bagay na pinag-iikutan ng isip ko.

magulo.

pero masaya din dahil sa 20 taon na lumipas - sa dinami-dami ng pinagdaanan at hinarap, nakita ko kung gaano naging faithful si Lord. at lubos lubos ang aking ligaya sa twing inaalala ang mga ito. ang mga masalimuot na panahon. ang pagrealize ng sariling unworthiness. ang pagbabago. ang grace Niya. ang layunin at pagtawag Niya sa akin. ang mga pagtalikod. ang pagpupumilit Niya sa bawat kong pagpalag. at ang kanyang araw-araw na pag-ibig.

naiisip ko din naman na bakit kaya yung iba, 'komportable' ang buhay? bakit sila 'konti lang ang iniisip?' pero nakakatuwa dahil hindi ako iniiwan ni Lord. sa bawat tanong ay andyan ang kanyang kamay - wala na lang akong imik. tatahimik na lang.

ano na kaya ang sunod?

sa mga naalala ko, kailangan pa bang itanong yan?? andami na Niyang ginawa - 20 taon pa lang, pero mahirap na nga magbilang (tres lang ako sa math17..). kelangan lang isurrender ang sarili. maghanda para sa kung ano man ang gagawin Niya. ayaw kong manguna. ihanda lang ang sarili. wag kabahan. sumuko. maghanda. hindi ko pa alam ang magiging direksyon ng buhay ko - hanggat hindi naa-approve ang thesis topic ko. hanggat hindi pa ako nakakapag-exam sa NMAT at lumabas ang result. hanggat wala pang nangyayaring malaki sa mga pinagkakaabalahan. hanggat malabo pa ang mga bagay bagay. pero kailangan pa nga bang luminaw para magtiwala sa Kanya?

salamat sa pagpapaalala na hindi ko naman alam ang lahat dati. salamat sa pagpapaalala na kailangan ko lang patatagin palagi ang faith ko sa Kanya.

sana nga ay mas tumatag pa ang pagtiwala ko sa Kanya. sinimulan ko ang araw na ngarag - dahil napuyat ako at late nagising. dahil nagmadali ako papuntang UP, at walang masakyang jeep sa Quezon Ave. dahil nagtitipid sana ako pero kinailangan kong sumakay ng dalawang jeep, kaya doble gastos sa pamasahe. dahil na late ako sa FG intro ng esbi. dahil late na kami nakapag start ng exec mtg. dahil... dahil late na din kami natapos, at na-late ako sa prayer mtg.

pagod ako pagdating sa prayer mtg. pinagpray ako ng mga pastor nung patapos na yung program. andami nabanggit ni Pastor D. nagulat ako sa ilan. hehe, lalo na nang ipagpray nya ang "Life Partner" ko. (o_0) haha, nauna pa yun kaysa sa pagpray sa future career ko. di ko inexpect na naisip nya yun..?!? napa-mulat ako at natatawa. pinigilan ko naman. nagulat talaga ako, hindi ko inexpect - buti pa ako, hindi ko pa iniisip yun. haha. oo nga, madami ang nagtatanong. kailangan na bang isipin? nakakatakot din naman sabihin na "conviction yun ng Holy Spirit para maipagpray sa iyo." haha. pero sabi ko nga, madaming mga bagay na hindi na dapat itanong o isipin...?? sa ngayon..? pero basta, anlabo lang talaga. haha.

sa bawat sandali ng araw na ito ay pinaalala Niya ang kabutihan Niya.

wala na akong ihaharap.

wala na akong sasabihin.

(DISCLAIMER: una, isang taon na din pala halos na hindi ako nakapag-blog. ikalawa, Blog ko to. at salamat din pala dahil nakabili ako ng "bday gift" para sa aking sarili.)

2007-03-13T20:57:00.000Z

"if the world is sane, then Jesus is mad as a hatter and the Last Supper is the Mad Tea Party.

The world says, Mind your own business,
and Jesus says, There is no such thing as your own business.
The world says, Follow the wisest course and be a success,
and Jesus says, Follow me and be crucified.
The world says, Drive carefully - the life you save may be your own -
and Jesus says, Whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
The world says, Law and order,
and Jesus says, Love.
The world says, Get,
and Jesus says, Give.

In terms of the world's sanity, Jesus is crazy as a coot, and anybody who thinks he can follow him without being a little crazy too is laboring less under the cross than under a delusion. 'We are fools for Christ's sake,' Paul says, faith says - the faith that ultimately the foolishness of God is wiser than the wisdom of men, the lunacy of Jesus saner than the grim sanity of the world."

-Frederick Buechner

Things you'll never hear a drummer say:

2007-02-21T10:23:00.000Z

from drumbum.com newsletter...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1.) Yea, I was the one speeding up.
2.) You guys take a break...I'll get the rest of the equipment loaded.
3.) No thanks, I'd rather not play any tune that showcases any sort of interesting rhythmic twists or kicks.
4.) Maybe for this song we should get a drum machine.
5.) Where can I find a Hello Kitty bass drum head?
6.) What's a rudiment?
7.) Does this throne make my butt look big?
8.) My drum solo is waaaay too long. We should cut it out and put in a guitar solo.
9.) The chick singer is way too hot. She's gonna have to go!

bits and pieces from last week...

2007-02-18T14:56:00.001Z

02/12/2007
-in my bio11 class, we started to skin our own preserved frog specimens.. i named my frog, "kokak" - he was such a nice frog (im sure he's a 'he' because his stomach wasn't bloated with eggs).. it was my first time to skin (and later, dissect..) a preserved frog. back in highschool, our bio professor didnt even dream of letting us hold of the frog specimen - he knows he's gonna see the frog on the ceiling, or on one of our classmates pants (or skirt..) if he let us. so there i was - i tried to figure out what to do.. how to cut a clean "I" or a "V"..and not to look bad if something disastrous happens.. i found out that skinning a frog was a bit stress releasing.. and the smell of the formalin even adds to the bliss..
i even remembered eating fried chicken, or steamed fish, or tinolang manok, or isaw, while skinning kokak.. i was already enjoying it, but thanks to my own frog skinning expertise, i sliced the gracilis minor muscle with kokak's skin and became one of my teacher's privileged example for the class -
"ayan, tingnan nyo si billy..yan ang hindi nyo dapat gayahin.."

oh well.. at least i learned something - it pays to be patient.

02/13/2007
my 1:00-2:30pm class was dismissed early..i decided to go to the college of music's library, and finally look for some drumming books. it was my first time to enter their library..i searched for joe morello's "Master Studies" in the opac, but argh..it wasnt on shelf.. the librarian might have seen my despair, so he willingfully offered me some books. one of them was Peter Erskines' "Drum Concepts and Techniques" where i learned some ideas, and copied some drummer-quotes. one of them was stated by Professor Jiggswhigham from the Musikhockschule,

"there are no limits out there...if you can conceive it, you can produce it on your instrument with work.."

..even his name was funky..

5:30 onwards
- we walked from esbi tambayan to KFC tandang sora (o ha, o ha..), not because we didnt have wheels or we were saving cash, but because we didnt have wheels and we were saving cash..(o_0) then went to monci's place for the SVCF Gents night. other details are not for public consumption.

wahaha! (as if ure curious...)

02/14/2007
-i went home after the gent's night..then slept the whole afternoon (1:30 to 4:47pm).. then went to church to submit our youth ministry proposal to our senior pastor..but i wasnt early enough so i had to wait for 2 hours.. thankfully, its my dads bday on the 15th, so there was a caldereta treat for the prayer meeting.
then i went to esem north for juddy pearl's (anak kong makulit.. (>_<) bday treat at sbarro and shakey's ice cream bar. arrived home at 11:30, slept late again.. what else?

02/15/2007
-we continued our dissecting adventures in bio class.. we finished early, and our class enjoyed enough that we even proceeded to go to the digestive system. poor kokak. =( i was supposed to be interviewed at 2:30pm.. waited in esbi tambayan for an hour..exam on a major subject the next day, but i didnt have the energy to study after i saw kokak's inner parts.. but maybe it wasn't heavens will for me to be interviewed-yet..muhaha! re-scheduled tomorrow afternoon..so help me, God.

02/16/2007
-tiresome.
even just thinking about last friday makes me tired right now..
8:30-10:45am - Basic Fitness Dance Class. our main workout focused on 'aerobic circuit training', which i think was used to torture prisoners of war.. the treadmill was 'invented' when soldiers once tried to torture their prisoners by making them run non-stop on the ancient treadmill. but to their surprise, their prisoners just got fatigued but adapted and ran longer after some time.. maybe the aerobic circuit training workout was also once used to torture prisoners - prisoner/students..
10:20-11:33am - took my dreaded hk115 exam.. the exam was supposed to be easy - i knew it was easy, but i didnt have enough time to study the day before..so i said goodbye to my hopes of getting a good grade on that exam..
11:45-1:00pm - went directly to UPIS for the regular ISCF fellowship after i left my bag on esbi tambayan. we only had three students when we started because it was their 'teachers day'..two other students added to our group and were just in time for the conclusion part of our bible study..but i was still blessed because of their perseverance and desire to meet..i pray that God will use the iscf in upis for the students to know Christ more, and prepare them for his kingdom..
1:15-2:00pm - i (literally..) ran from upis back to the acad oval to get an ikot ride to the chk gym..thankfully, we didnt have any serious lesson or activity in class.. and i still got to write my name on the attendance sheet and wasnt considered late though i arrived at about 1:35pm..2:45-4:15pm - one-on-one FG with james (until yang arrived at 3:15..?).. he lead the bible study on the topic "Sovereignity of God." i evaluated him and was blessed on all his efforts, even though the applicants enrolled in our group were nowhere to be found..
5:30-6:15pm - fulfilled my emcee duties (for the first time) for the bigf..
7:00-sat afternoon - Student Leader's Retreat!

02/18/2007
i had a nightmare.. you were in my dreams..

==========================================================
i praise God for all His blessings to me this past week..
surely, words wont be enough...

Shout for joy to God, all the earth!
Sing the glory of his name;
make his praise glorious.

Say to God, "How awesome are your deeds!
So great is your power that your enemies cringe before you.
All the earth bows down to you;
they sing praise to you, they sing the praises of your name."

Come and see what God has done,
his awesome deeds for us! let us rejoice in him!

Praise our God, all peoples,
let the sound of his praise be heard;
I will come to your temple
with burnt offerings and fulfill my vows to you—
vows my lips promised
and my mouth spoke when I was in trouble.

Come and hear, all you who fear God;
let me tell you what he has done for me.
I cried out to him with my mouth;
his praise was on my tongue.

If I had cherished sin in my heart,
the Lord would not have listened;
but God has surely listened and has heard my prayer.

Praise be to God,
who has not rejected my prayer
or withheld his love from me!

- Psalm 66

2007-02-12T22:31:00.000Z

your time has come.

...you hit the cymbals, make a couple of rolls and some mind-cracking and nerve-wrecking fills... you twirl your stick before hitting the splash on your right... bright lights dance while you do some upbeats on your hi-hat... then you let your toms sing their hearts out... your sticks made a few quick but powerful strokes on your floor tom before making their way back to your snare...

you know that the moment you have isn't long - but it doesn't matter.

and then you start your last few rolls... you hit your snare while pounding your bass drum with double peds, as if you're trying to defy a legion of marching bands... the music is still playing in your ears, but your time is now about to end...

and its up to you.

...welcome silence and make music, or let your hands continue to unleash their energy on your sticks and transform the music you produced to noise...

...you made your sticks run their final combinations around the drumset - all over the place...

then you stopped.

but the music is still alive in your veins... it should be. its not supposed to cease.

and its not about the drumset, sticks, or whatever... all that matters is how you relate to the music... you should not get rid of or even try to suppress the music inside of you... just let it play and perculate in your head... if there is an opportunity to practice or simulate whats in your head, then do so... make every effort to translate it to your hands, then to the sticks your holding... and when your time comes again, playing the music in your head won't be of much effort...

you wouldnt even have to think of how youre going to do it, or whats coming next.... you just play.

=========================================================
“I religiously follow a constantly-evolving practice routine. It’s not glamorous, but for me daily practice is a principle source of growth and inspiration in my playing...”
-Thomas Lang

nyahaha!! astig!

2007-02-02T22:51:00.000Z

English movie titles you DEFINITELY should NOT translate in Filipino =)

1. black hawk down - ibong maitim sa ibaba
2. dead man's chest - dodo ng patay
3. i know what you did last summer - uyy... aminin!
4. love, actually - sa totoo lang, pag-ibig
5. million dollar baby - 50 million pisong sanggol (it depends on the exchange rate of the country)
6. the blair witch project - ang proyekto ng bruhang si blair
7. mary poppins - si mariang may putok
8. snakes on a plane - nag-ahasan sa ere
9. the postman always rings twice - ang kartero kapag dumutdot laging dalawang beses
10. sum of all fears - takot mo, takot ko, takot nating lahat
11. swordfish - talakitok
12. pretty woman - ganda ng lola mo
13. robin hood, men in tights - si robin hood at ang mga felix bakat
14. 4 weddings & a funeral - kahit 4 na beses ka pang magpakasal, mamamatay ka rin
15. the good, the bad and the ugly - ako, ikaw, kayong lahat
16. harry potter and the sorcerer's stone - adik si harry, tumira ng shabu
17. click - isang pindot ka lang
18. brokeback mountain - may nawasak sa likod ng bundok ng tralala/bumigay sa bundok
19. the day of the death - ayaw tumayo (ng mga patay)
20. waterworld - basang-basa
21. there's something about mary - may kwan sa ano ni maria
22. employee of the month - ang sipsip
23. resident evil - ang biyenan
24. kill bill - kilitiin sa bilbil
25. the grudge - lintik lang ang walang ganti
26. nightmare before christmas - binangungot sa noche buena
27. never been kissed - pangit kasi
28. gone in 60 seconds - 1 round, tulog
29. the fast and the furious - ang bitin, galit
30. too fast, too furious - kapag sobrang bitin, sobrang galit
31. dude, where's my car - dong, anong level ulit tayo nag-park?
32. beauty and the beast - ang asawa ko at ang nanay nya
33. the lord of the rings - ang alahero

2007-02-01T17:30:00.000Z

if you do not see yourself as a drummer, you wont be able to play like a drummer...

2007-01-28T18:58:00.000Z

for the past few nights, ive been dreaming about me playing drums..

..playing drums on a drumset complete with everything any crazy and hopeless drummer could ever dream of.

a hundred days or so have already passed since i started saving for a single splash cymbal and a clamp, or a snare head, or a brush stick, a drumming cd, or whatever drum stuff i might suddenly think of buying.. a hundred days passed by.. and almost every single cent i saved within those hundred days slipped out of my hands without me knowing it..

or..i knew about it, but i wasnt thinking about drums during those tragic moments and i didnt have time to realize that my dream of 'upgrading' the drumset im regularly playing (at church..) is slowly slipping away.. i used my savings (almost worth two splash cymbals..??? na cheap.. hehe) to buy some gift, treat some people to somewhere, get myself some of this and that - things that i think i need...

maybe i should have focused on saving first before getting my needs for the moment? maybe i shouldve just treated those people to some dirty ice cream or isaw? maybe i shouldnt have bought an expensive gift?

or maybe, i should have just told everyone who are dear to me: "i wanted to give you this or that, or take you to this place, or spend time with you and eat some of those, or i wanted to go there and see you..[oh, its so thoughtful of me.. (n_n) ] but, im saving for something for myself, so i wont. anyway, its the thought that counts, right??!"

im frustrated.

what if..??? oh well..il do it next time...

haha. (n_n)

nah..im saving again..maybe after another hundred days, il be able to save for something that could make my dreams come true - or at least a part of it.. and then use it for the youth camp (at puerto galera..) before i could even look for anything.. then save again, and use it for
another set of gifts, or whatever...

oh well..

i may be crazy and hopeless and .

but life doesnt end in drumming.

..and maybe, something better is coming my way.

..and God is good.

..il be saving again and again - and again, and again, and again.

..il be waiting until that day comes.

..and i shouldnt be blogging right now, but studying for my bio lab exam tomorrow.

[argh.]

2007-01-20T00:01:00.000Z

im having an intense feeling that my world is tearing apart.

things are getting out of my control - some going off slowly and some more deliberately, and i cant do anything to pull them back again..i feel so helpless, left alone, with no one to turn to, no one to help me find the pieces of my brokenness and put them back to their proper places, to where they used to be.. a large mess - like a chaotic room inhabited by a savage teenage boy, or a dinner table that felt the wrath of a six year old who had a bout of tantrum, or a traffic jam caused by an overturned dilapidated bus.. some kind of a war is waging deep inside of me, a war between two states - and it is an impossibility for either side to resort to reconciliation. >> Helpless - i know i wont be able to put things back together, or even if i can, i dont have sufficient strength to do so. I feel like im being dragged away from my desired and efficient state.. im being pulled down to the ground by some enemy who mastered every discipline essential to mixed martial arts - i cant do anything to fight back..and i cant tap out, because he delights seeing me face down to the canvass floor.

>> Alone - like a child lost in a train station that is full of people. i dont know where to start, who to approach, what to do, where to go, how to find my way home. i dont even know if someone is looking for me too, or if i was intentionally left alone - maybe so that their world is much better without me..and if so, i wont bother much to ask help from anybody, because their lives might be better off too without me.

>> i feel like everything suddenly went against me..all of my hopes shattered, and now hope is a foreign word to my ears. i wont even dare to hope again, because i might find another that would go against me and pull me lower - deeper that i wont be able to stand up again. Maybe soon i wont put my hopes in being able to stand up - maybe i wasnt made to stand up, put my head high and brace myself for this world. im made to kiss the earth, with no part of my body extending itself at least an inch high off the ground. Desperate is not even the word to describe me - someone desperate still has traces of hope in his veins, and may still put up a fight..so where do i go from here?

like Job's words...

sighing comes to me instead of food, my groans pour out like water.. i have no peace, no quietness, and i have no rest but only turmoil..if only my anguish would be weighed, and all my misery be placed on the scales! it would surely outweigh the sand of the seas..what strength do i have that i should still hope? what prospects, that i should be patient?.. do i have the strength of the stone? is my flesh bronze? do i have any power to help myself, now that success has been driven from me?

>> never before have i encountered the words of Job with life like this..

>>i am.. whatever it is that ive attained in the past did form who i am..and now that they are being pulled away from me, what happens to who i am? maybe im wrong,..or maybe i shouldnt have had them in the first place, so that when a time like this comes, nothing would go against me, and it might not hurt that much..maybe i should have just hid myself under my bed for the past 19 years of my life, with no light shining upon my eyes. and maybe all these seem exaggerated for you - maybe its because you are not the one who would lend a hand for me to hold on to..or you dont have the strength to do so..

>>im broken. not like a stained glass window, because you could still recognize the pieces that fell apart.. im a broken piece of junk - nobody would care to pick anything up and try to put them together..

>>who would i turn to? i thought ive always included God in the picture, even put Him in the center of all things..i thought my world revolved around Him..everything i did was for Him.. but now what happened? what could i say when everything in the picture is falling apart?

>> Humble me, Lord. im not worthy like Job - not even a single hair from me is worthy of you. Forgive me when i put my hopes on the things that you hold for me, not on you.. and always remind me to hang on to you, put my trust in you alone. indeed, you are the maker of all things - you have made the red sunset show its glory over the horizon. you have made the stars whchc light up the night sky. you have made the vast expanse of the seas, and the mysteries of the deep are yet to be concealed. you have made the most beautiful smile on her face - a smile that would last forever on the eyes of those who saw it. and even the tears on her eyes which to some extent makes her more beautiful, came from you. you have made man, in your own image, and showed the full extent of your love to him. you..the maker of all things.. and who am i to deserve it? i really cant boast of anything - even my utmost desire to give my best to you..remove all pride..everything came from you, so what more could my mouth say? what more could my hands do? you are the maker of all things - you are the one who hold them together, no one could overcome your might..and always remind me Lord, that from your standpoint, it is absolutely unreasonable for me to be anxious and worry..rescue me..i put my hope in you..

'Boracay island' and 'Manila Bay' boodle-meals...

2007-01-13T02:37:00.000Z

Last saturday afternoon, we (finally..after much debate on the-who,what,when,where,how,why,..and after about two months..) had our mlc treat. As usual, waiting took about a fourth of our time - the scheduled 1pm became 3:45pm (at least hindi 4..), and we went to the Seafood Island (suggested by ate rachel..and we had no choice! dotaaaa..hehe) without roxy - she texted us at 3pm and told us that she will be late and was just about to leave her house - in bulacan..

we could have waited for her for another 2 hours, but our stomachs dictated our minds and we decided to continue with a "lunch" treat (lunch..4pm..lunch..(o_0) )..of course, we were desperate to eat because we didn't eat lunch to 'prepare' ourselves for the much awaited treat..

we left the gateway foodcourt, boxed out everyone who came our way, and walked outside the mall a couple of times to find a decent (and mlc worthy..) restaurant. again, the snares of decision-making was mediocre to the growls of our stomachs, so we decided to eat at seafood island, ate rachel's first suggestion.. at first, we wondered why there were just a few people eating inside, and doubted if the place serves good-food - but then, we looked at the time and it was 4:15pm..all of us except ate rachel wasnt familiar with the menu, so it was ate rachel who ordered the food..boracay island, manila bay, sisig, kinilaw,.. argh.. the taste still lingers on my mouth..

the 2 specialties (bora and manila bay..rein commented "manila bay, madumi siguro to..") were served in a large, uh, wooden board covered with banana leaves..

>>> life is so unfair: waiting for each other to show up, walking around gateway and araneta center, waiting for others to decide what to order, waiting for the food - took longer than devouring the neatly arranged boodle-meals (they were the first neatly arranged boodle meals i saw in my entire life..) on the 2 large wooden boards.. life is so unfair..

roxy arrived when all of us finished eating..we saved the tilapia, some squid, kinilaw, porkchop, a piece of lumpia, and about 3-kilos of rice for her..we even wrote her name using our left-overs..how sweet of us.. (n_n)

i was concentrating on digesting the food in my stomach when i suddenly saw ate jam pass by.. i texted her, she texted back, but i was unable to read her text that she would come back to say "hi"...she came back, entered the restaurant, and she said not only "hi." but, "Hi!! ako po si Jam, from esbi diliman... =)"..surprised - but aww,i was touched.. hehe (n_n)

then we went back to gateway to watch a movie - after another chaotic decision making moments, we (or ate rachel..? hehe =) ) decided to watch Enteng Kabisote..i wont tell the details of the "story" of the movie, lest id just decide after typing a few words to stop writing this blog and sleep..

after 'it' (n_n). we went back to the foodcourt to talk..after the crazy moments (which included playing with the tables, going back to Wendy's because their 'Large' fries were labeled 'Small', and other stuff not suitable for public consumption..), we shared concerns and prayer requests with each other..included with what i shared was my academic adventures and the CBC youth ministry.. it was nice, and humbling, on my part at least - to be able to hear each others stories, to be updated, to know who the person talking is (maybe at the moment..) and what he/she is going through, and know some of what is behind those smiles and enthusiasm everytime we meet.. i was blessed and saw how much God works differently in our individual lives. and after everyone shared, we prayed together, in the middle of the gateway foodcourt, oblivious to the noise and people around us..

i dunno..but during the sharing time, i suddenly had my eyes open to what was around us - different kinds of people, caring about their own agendas, and so..but i had a [burden: cant think of any other term..],. i saw them. and i wondered, how about them? what are they going through? who are they? what is behind those smiles and enthusiasm and staying up late in a mall?? maybe my pakialamero side showed its head at that moment, but i just felt it. and it occured to me that they were young people too, just like us..but they were different (or just in my judgement..), they didnt have have Christ. I felt that i should add them to my prayer concerns, but i already had my turn to share. it was not because i didnt enjoy being with the mlc (an unenjoyable-mlc is like a flying-platypus..) but i felt i was staying too much in my comfort zone - with Christians, who would accept me for involving Christ in my daily life, and would not laugh out loud when i share that i desire to live for Christ. i felt a little guilty, that they outnumbered me - outnumbered us..what have i done that afternoon to share Jesus to them? during the day, awms i able to see a world without Christ, hearts that need salvation, and my responsibility to share God's love..?

it actually bothered me the whole night, until sunday..i was even able to wake up at 4pm to have my quiet time, focusing on my late reflections, maybe because it made me so disturbed..i had different thoughts when i got home, until i had my quiet time..

"maybe they were just having a good time, just like us..", "do i even have to care for them?," "how could i care for them? to what extent?," "how could i share Christ to them?," "what is going on in their minds? will they listen?," "what if i just let it pass away? maybe i just ate too much shrimp (im allergic to crustaceans..but i enjoy eating them..=) haha)..", "am i my brother's keeper?"

they are young people too, just like you and me..maybe not all of them go to school, most of them have plenty of friends to turn to, or a number might be well-off we in financial standing - we are in the same phase in life and we undergo almost the same thoughts, situations, and concerns..we act and respond almost the same..what is the difference? Christ in our hearts.

who will stood up? why??
they are also included in the 'all the nations' we HAVE to go into..

...and i only have 6 months to live

2007-01-07T18:55:00.000Z

i only have 6 months to live my 'teen' years (-_-)...

bakit ako matutuwa sa 2006??

2007-01-02T10:47:00.001Z

-pumasa ako sa chem16.. sa wakas! muhahaha!!
-na-organize namin ulit ang Youth ng CBC pero iniwanan ko agad para sa KC.. bwehehe
-nakasama ako sa KC 2k6 matapos ang matagal na pagiisip (na hindi naman natapos, sumama lang ako bigla) at hanggang ngayon ay patuloy na dumadaloy ang pagpapala ng camp na ito.
-narating ko ang pinakamalayong lugar na narating ko sa tala ng buhay ko (bacolod, na dati ay... baguio (??) ) woohoo!!
-nakakilala ako ng mga kaibigan mula sa iba't ibang sulok ng Pilipinas.
-natuloy ang 3-day Youth Camp ng CBC sa Batangas kahit na laspag kaming nag-organize
-natuto ako ng Latin Drumming.. (though, very, very, very basic, at tunog 'try-hard latin beat', ayus na yun!!)
-naging pagpapala ang MLC kahit na pasaway kaming lahat, at naayos ang LCDC
-na-enlist ko ang HK102 sa second sem at nakuha ko ang gusto kong prof
-nakapag-'excursion'/dalaw sa UPLB sa panimula ng Christmas Break

-at marami pang iba!!! hehe, ako'y nabigo... akala ko kaya ko ilagay lahat...

2006-12-25T17:37:00.000Z

bakit kung kelan hindi mo kelangan ng oras, saka madami nito at tila hindi nauubos..?
nakakaburo sa bahay....

Maligayang Pasko!

2006-12-18T07:32:00.000Z

hehe.. wala lang.. nag-iinternet lang ako sa uplb ngayon...

2006-11-30T22:30:00.000Z

di mo lang alamnaiisip kita..

minsan... palagi...

baka sakali lang maisip mo ako.

Hanggang sa gabi, inaasam na makita kang muli

kung akoy nagkasala, patawad na sana

baka sakali lang, maisip mo, ako ay nandito lang, hindi mo lang alam..

sana...

kung alam ko lang...

2006-11-29T07:07:00.000Z

tila mabilis ang pagtakbo ng oras nitong mga nagdaang araw...
pero huwag na lang natin isipin...
lilipas din ang lahat nang hindi natin namamalayan.

sana lumipas na...

2006-11-02T23:19:00.000Z

"The author and preacher Tony Campolo delivers a stirring sermon adapted from an elderly black pastor at his church pin Philadelphia. "It's Friday, but Sunday's Comin" is the title of the sermon, and once you know the title, you know the whole sermon. In a cadence that increases in tempo and in volume, Campolo contrasts how the world looked on Friday - when the forces of evil won over the forces of good, when every friend and disciple fled in fear, when the Son of God died on a cross - with how it looked on Easter Sunday. The disciples who lived through both days, Friday and Sunday, never doubted God again. They had learned that when God seems most absent he may be closest of all, when God looks most powerless he may be more powerful, when GOd looks most dead he may be coming back to life. They had learned never to count God out.
Campolo skipped one day in his sermon, though. The other two days have earned names on the church calendar: Good Friday and Easter Sunday. Yet in a real sense we live on Saturday, the day with no name. What the disciples experienced in small scale - three days, in grief over one man who had died on a cross - we now live through on cosmic scale. Human history grinds on, between the time of promise and fulfillment. Can we trust that God can make something holy and beautiful and good out of a world that includes Bosnia and Rwanda, and inner city ghettoes and jammed prisons in the richest nations on earth? It's Saturday planet earth; will Sunday ever come? "

Today, i just finished a book by Philip Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew... ano pa ba pwede gawin bago matapos ang bakasyon??

2006-11-02T10:09:00.000Z

10 1/2 hrs sleep.. plus natulog pa ako nung hapon.. solb!! bawing bawi na sa puyatan at paguran nung lcdc na 4hrs ang max tulog ko.. parang hindi ako nauubusan ng gagawin sa bawat araw na lumilipas.. sa umaga, kelangan maaga magising dahil gigisingin ko pa ang taga-gising ng campers.. sa gabi, kung walang exec mtg, kelangan maghugas ng pinggan.. once na late ako nagising.. twice lang ako nakapag-cabin dev...

di ko naman kasi talaga kayang gampanan lahat ng trabaho.. kaya nga dalawa naka-assign sa admin, dahil dami pala talaga kelangan gawin.. sa kasamaang palad, na-dengoy si ehco.. hehe.. laboh.. nung dati, sya ang masipag na palagi umaatend ng meeting ng mlc.. ako, mga 4 times lang ata nakapag-overnyt, dahil alam kong konti lang ang pag-uusapan sa admin, dahil mas 'hands on' ang trabaho.. tapos pagdating ng camp, ako naman naiwan... nakakatuwa.. hindi ko kaya ang trabaho, alam kong hindi ako dapat dun.. dapat nag-"security guard" na lang ako or "escort", kaso wala naman ganun..

nakakatuwa, dahil sa bawat araw ay alam kong si Lord talaga ang tumutulong sa akin.. kahit na kulang sa tulog at bangag at hindi na namamansin ng campers dahil sa pagod, si Lord ang nag-enable sa akin at nagbigay sa akin ng strength..

sori sa mga na-supladuhan ko.. baka kasi di na gumagana utak ko nun at hindi na ako marunong ngumiti.. ngumingiti naman ako minsan, pero hindi ko na alam kung pano sabihin ang "kamusta".. nangungumusta naman ako minsan, pero bangag lang talaga ako...

nakakagulat din.. dahil nung pre-camp, sobrang relax.. ang ganda ng lugar, ng sunrise tuwing umaga, at mga stars sa gabi.. malamig ang simoy ng burak galing sa laguna lake.. kung pwede lang sana magcamp na walang campers.. tapos, nakakagulantang lang pagdating nila.. wehehe! pero masaya.. masayang makita silang nakangiti.. wag lang sila mag-pasaway... minsan kasi, nakangiti pa din sila kahit "Lights Off" na... di na nakakatuwa.. bwehehe!!! (n_n)

ang galing din na nagwork si Lord nung isang gabi.. na sa exec mtg, sa halip na konti lang ang pag-usapan namin, nagmove talaga sya para ibreak ang bawat isa, at nadamay pa lahat ng counselors.. natapos kami ng 4am.. hindi na kami natulog sa exec.. tapos na silang magcabin dev nun at halos tulog na lahat ng counselors nang magdecide kami na ituloy ang pagkausap sa mga counselor.. pinagising ang lahat.. ang galing.. dahil hindi hinayaan ni Lord na maging pasaway na counselors kami.. ganun nya kami kamahal,.. at patunay na siya ang may hawak ng lcdc...

maya-maya (or kinabukasan), nag feet-washing kami.. pagpapakita ng aming service sa mga campers at simbolo din ng humility sa aming mga counselor.. nakakatuwa, dahil ginamit ni Lord ang situation upang mabreak din ang ilang mga camper.. nakakatuwa, dahil instead na makita nila ang aming kahinaan at mga pagkakamali, ginamit yun ni Lord para ma-humble ang bawat isa... astig.. nakaka-guilty lang dahil madami kaming campers at counselors napaiyak.. unusual kasi sa isang 1 week lcdc na may iyakan.. ehehe.. sabi nga ni ian, naiyak sya dahil andaming paa na kelangan hugasan.. (o_0)

astig din si Lord na magwork sa funds ng lcdc... nung 3rd day ng camp, nag-iisip na kami ng mga cost-cutting at iba pang paraan para ma-minimize ang mga gastos.. medyo namiga na din kami ng mga bisita.. camp na, pero sobrang laki pa ng kelangan naming pera.. subalit instead na kulangin kami, ay andami pang sobra!! nakapagmeryenda pa kami ng buko pie sa post camp, nakapag-mcdo pa ang mga counselor pauwi, at naayos ang travel namin..

kahit na pasaway ang mga counselors.. andaming kc2k6 na mga pasaway (kasama ako dun, lahat ata ng kc 2k6 ay pasaway), at pasaway din ang madami pang counselors... kaya kitang-kita din kung pano nagwork si Lord sa buhay ng bawat-isa sa amin, at kung pano namin nagampanan ang pagiging mga "kuya" at "ate" sa camp..

sobrang masaya ang pakiramdam.. ayaw ko naman sabihing ako ang dapat sisihin, pero nakakatuwa lang isipin na nagwowork talaga si Lord kapag nagpray ka.. bago magcamp, at maging nung pre-camp at duration ng camp, yun na ang prayer ko - na si Lord ang magwork sa camp.. wag na matuloy kung wala sya.. at yun nga.. nakakagulat lang.. he worked in ways i did not expect.. astig! ika nga, kung ineexpect natin sya magwork, dapat ready tayo sa mga gagawin nya.. nakakagulat.. at sobrang nakakaoverwhelm...

nakakatuwa din ang buhay ng mga campers.. kahit na konti lang ang mga nakausap ko talaga, liban sa aking mga cute na SGmates.. kinakausap ko lang kasi yung iba kapag gusto kong sabihin na "oi,tulog na kayo ha.. bawal na uminom ng tubig, alas dose na.. ui,ganda mo sana ngayon, kaso bawal yang sleeveless eh.. cabin dev na.. balik na sa session hall,.. etc".. pero nakaka-bless na makita lang sila sa camp.. nakakatuwa din na makapaglcdc sa ibang perspective.. nung dati kasi, pang-camper lang ang alam ko.. ngayon, parehong camper at counselor na.. minsan, mahirap nga lang i-balance.. alam ko ang nararamdaman nila at ang kanilang pangangailangan, pero dapat isabay din sa panuntunan ng camp.. mahirap talaga.. kaya astig, dahil si Lord lang ang naging tulong sa akin..

salamat sa Diyos sa LCDC!! palagi na lang, nakikita ko kung paano siya magwork sa aking buhay, kung paano sya sumagot ng panalangin, kung paano sya magbless sa pamamagitan ng buhay ng iba..

madami pa akong kwento sa 10 araw na pagstay ko sa Lord's garden... tanong nyo na lang sa mga palaka sa cr ng boys kung ano yung iba...

2006-10-21T20:47:00.000Z

49, 72, 60.. grades ko sa tatlong exam sa HK 108...

69.84.. final grade ko sa HK 118...

5.. "grade" ko sa PE2, na sobrang sipag ng titser, hindi pumapasok...kamote...

mag aayos ako next sem...

2006-10-21T02:08:00.000Z

argh...

i have to work on my foot technique....

2006-10-20T09:40:00.000Z

mahirap ang buhay bum..

parang naubusan na ako ng pwedeng gawin...

(-_-)

2006-10-16T21:25:00.000Z

10/16/2006
Hindi na ako sanay na walang ginagawa pagdating ng gabi.. naiilang na ako kapag nakatulala na lang sa wala, iniisip kung ano ba ang pwedeng gawin.. matapos ang isang linggo at ilang mga araw na walang tulog dahil sa mga exams at mga papers at mga requirements at mga trabaho sa church at esbi at iba pa, nag-adapt ata ang sistema ko nang hindi ko inaasahan, at hindi ko ginugusto. sa bawat gabi ng pagpupuyat, ng pagtulog ng dalawang oras lang, sa pagmamadali tuwing umaga, sa pagkahilo matapos mag-aral habang biyahe sa bus at jeep, sa kawindangan - palagi kong inasam ang bakasyon, o kahit isang minuto lang na wala akong gagawin.. ngayong dumating, parang kakaiba ang pakiramdam - hindi ko maintindihan.. nung dati, sa sobrang daming kelangan gawin, wala akong magawa. nakakatamad gumawa.. ngayon, nakakatamad magpakatamad.. ewan.

ngayon, alam ko nang posible palang makaraos sa apat na magkakasunod (dalawa doon ay magkasabay) na exams, kasabay ang isang paper, habang nag-oorganize ng isang event para sa youth ng church.. mahirap, pero masaya. nakakahilo, pero ang sarap isipin. nakakawindang, pero enjoy. ewan.

at astig ang youth gig!

friday ng hapon, pagtapos ng final exam ko sa stat 101 ay dumiretso na ako sa church para sa mga last-minute na pag-aayos, para ready na pagdating ng 6pm. mga 3pm pa lang ay medyo ok na ang lahat - wala na kaming makitang kelangan pang gawin, ayos na ang sound system, ang arrangements at iba pa, lighting na lang ang hindi pa natetest dahil medyo maliwanag pa. nag-aral na lang ako para sa exam ko bukas at umidlip nang sandali. ngunit hindi may mga hindi inaasahan na dumating. mga 6:45pm, biglang umulan ng malakas. ibig sabihin, babaha sa harap ng church kung sakali. matapos ang ilang sandali, nagfluctuate ang kuryente - pumatay ang mga elecrtic fan, mga lights, ang lcd - pwede namang mag-gig ng walang ilaw, pero hindi pwedeng walang musical instruments. matapos pa nun, na-late ang unang banda dahil na-stranded daw sa may macarthur hiway.. ang calltime na 6:45pm, na-move ng isang oras mahigit. natuloy ang "on-the-spot band", at dumami pa sila, kahit na matagal na naming nirereject yung ideyang yun.. pero astig. akala namin, ayus na ang lahat. akala namin, kaya naming patakbuhin nang kami kami lang. akala namin, magagaling kami dahil sa mga preparations, etc. napaisip ako sa sarili ko, kung hindi siguro mangyayari ang mga yun, magiging malakas ang temptation na isipin na wala na nga kaming ibang kailangan upang magawa ang event. astig. merong mga bagay na wala na sa kontrol natin. merong mga bagay na hindi natin kaya. astig. hindi hinayaan ni lord na mawala sya sa isip namin. hindi nya hinayaan na magulo ang buong event, kung hindi siya ang magoglorify. at tunay nga na siya ang nag-move sa gig. astig ang mga banda. astig ang mga audience na nagparticipate. astig ang mga nag-accept kay christ sa gabing iyon. astig at hindi na ako maghihintay ng blessing paggising ko bukas. hindi lang ang music, ang mga tao, ang pagkain, o kung ano man ang enjoy sa gig. sobrang enjoy na makita kung paano magwork si Lord, kung pano maglorify ang name nya.

sa February ulit!!!

Random:
Faith: we should avoid asking "why", but ask "to what end?"

mag iisang taon na ata at hindi ko pa napapalitan ang background ko... =s

drumming blind....

2006-09-30T22:26:00.000Z

thursday - haha.. classes got suspended because a signal no.3 storm just entered manila. i already finalized my sched for the day - study for my saturday exam, research for my exams on thursday (45 injuries for hk118, then tennis history), design the poster and flyer for the gig, check my email, surf drumming sites, etc...

i first watched steve smith's dvd, "Drumset technique" from 8 til 11am.. when i finally opened the pc, the monitor flickered, and then darkness came.. argh. and i thought it was just a simple-meralco brownout, but i was wrong... it was caused by the storm mileny0, and would last for hours..

and my beautifully arranged sched went with the wind... with nothing yet in mind to do (nothing better than eating, and eating, and eating..), i slept til 3pm. i read a chapter from Philip yancey's "The Jesus I never knew", when i realized that i won't be able to read later when it gets dark... 5pm, the shadows were getting bigger and denser, darkness finally crawling and piercing the struggling presence of light - but electricity still didnt come... i tried to sleep again, but just found myself desperate...

(i also registered to Unlimitext.. but because of my own stupidity, i wasnt able to use it from 1pm til electricity came back -- my phone didnt have enough battery for some adik texting...)

and darkness finally prevailed... i sat on the bed, took my pillow, then started some rudiments, then some rolls, then some other stickings which were strange even to myself, moving my hands randomly just to kill the boredom inflitrating my sytem... drumming in my snare would be too noisy (the strong winds were noisy enough), and then i realized that i got no other use for my books, so i might as well use them for something - and i got an instant drumpad-set... and the darkness wasnt able to stop the sound that i made -and i didnt know if i already crossed the line from making music to making noise, but whats important to me at that time was that was feeling good.. 5:30pm, 6:00pm, 6:30pm... i didnt notice the time (cant even see the wall clock...), i didnt stop... sadly, i had to eat dinner... oh well..
===============
friday - we had electricity by 10:30 pm last night - i tried to research but the net servers werent working... friday morning, i finished all 4 cds of steve smith's "drumset technique" and played GT-3 on our PS2... i enjoyed the luxury of electricity while places like makati, manila, quezon city, etc were all sulking in the dark.. haha! (n_n)
=============
saturday - saturday morning, when i finally put my feet outside the safety of our house after two straight days to go to UP, was when i realized the intensity of the storm.. electric posts and lampposts alike, with trees of varying sizes, and billboards with their own portrayals of the strangeness of these society - they all found their comfortable place along the streets, hi-ways, rooftops, and everywhere, just to obey the strong whips of the storm that passed. and UP still didnt have electricity this morning, so my exam was cancelled - moved to next week with additional topics... (-_-)
=============

2006-09-26T22:36:00.000Z

carless oval ngayon sa UP simula kahapon, sept 25 hanggang sabado, sept 30.. hehe, ang saya maglakad sa gitna ng daan.. sarap maglakad sa lane sa gitna.. (n_n)

================================================
im still praying that this day is just a dream - that nothing that happened today is true - that it wasnt my third exam in HK108 this morning... bummer. i still havent completely grasped the thought that i took an exam "surprisingly" (cant think of a better term..). argh.. cant understand how i really feel.. haha, i wasnt even stressed while i was taking the exam, because everything was surreal.. (-_-) oh well.. at least i experienced it.
===============================================

and where is God in times like these? where is God when everything seems to fall apart? where would He be tomorrow, in my stat exam?

i get shattered when storms enter my life.. just like despicable and jologs commercials, i just feel like pressing some number on the remote and change the channel. i am constantly looking for Him. To see Him in everything i do is all i want. But its not because He is lost or in hiding.. i get out of focus. i become distracted. just like when peter almost drowned when he walked on water, i remove my eyes from Him and look to the chaos of the sea. He is with me. I want to completely take hold of His promises - to rest in faith. Those whose hope are in the Lord don't just soar on wings like eagles, but also sleeps like a hybernating bear.. you are my redeemer, my savior, my deliverer, and lifter of my head.. make me still, oh Lord, as you calm the storm.

2006-09-17T23:28:00.000Z

argh... im starting to love Jojo Mayer......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBc2a2IM7yQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQKVd9WUBl4&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ny4aGLLL7U&mode=related&search=

2006-09-13T13:40:00.000Z

from ate lorah.. hehe ngayon ko lang nagawa, last month pa ata to!! (o_0)

iNsTrUcTiOnS: Name ten (10) of life's simple pleasures that you like the most, then pick ten (10) people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not to use things that someone else has already used.

10. magdrums ng 5 hours straight..

9. bumiyahe sa isang lugar na first time ko mapuntahan.. ng mag-isa (waah, naic!!)

8. mag-munimuni sa may bintana habang bumabyahe

7. iwanan ang buong mundo para sa isang slice ng pizza..

6. manood ng movie right after ng exam..(pero mas masaya kung before the exam!)

5. lakarin ang buong acad oval sa start or end ng classes, kapag wala pa masyadong tao..

4. magdownload ng drum videos using dial-up..

3. kumain ng potchi, basta lang may manguya

2. play with my snare sa kwarto bago pumasok.. at bulabugin ang mga kapitbahay..

1. see my own weaknesses and incapabilities.. and realize how much God loves me

Tag to: aeda,charm, ate nika, bcel, rovy, te nikki, Jolise, ate misha, ate jam

2006-08-21T21:58:00.000Z

sa wakas, natuloy na kami sa Fontana ngayong Ninoy day.. supposedly, thanksgiving sya sa camp - ibig sabihin, dapat nung june pa.. pero dahil sa bagyo at hectic sked, ngayon lang naisked nang maayos.. naging thanksgiving na din para sa leadership forum, kaya medyo dumami ang kasama dapat.. kasama dapat, dahil may mga nag back out nung sunday.. 15 lang tuloy kami lahat from cbc.. grabe kung mag bless si Lord! sobrang liit lang ng binayaran namin sa fontana, tapos may libreng masarap na breakfast pa!

sobrang pahinga ang thanksgiving retreat na to para sa akin.. at dahil dun, minabuti ko nang mag-SR mode.. gabi pa lang ng sunday, inaayos ko na ang puso at isipan ko para makipagusap kay God.. pero hindi agad dumating ang sagot.

nung biyahe papunta, hindi ako gaanong makasama sa kulitan.. (bangag at nag-iisip..) pero wala pa rin.

sira yung giant slide ng fontana, kaya ang bukas lang ay yung lazy river, wave maker, water factory, tsaka yung para sa mga bata.. nilanguyan namin lahat yun (nag-slide pa dun sa pambata sa sobrang pagka-desperado sa slide..) pero pabalik balik lang kami sa lazy river at sa wave maker.. sa wave maker, naka lima o anim yata na wave ako..

every 30 mins lang pinapagana yung waves ng wave maker, na tumatakbo ng mga 15mins.. at hindi ito basta-basta na synthetic waves sa pool! humigit-kumulang mga 5 feet siguro ang taas ng maximum na waves na nagegenerate.. nagsisimula sa mahinang mga alon, papalakas, hanggang pahina ulit.. nung una, parang baha lang sa malabon yung tubig kapag may napadaang trak o jeep. pero nung lumakas na yung waves, may gulay, parang nasa cast-away o sa poseidon! (well, hindi naman..)

napagod din naman kami sa kakaikot, kakalusong, at kakalangoy. umupo ako at nagtry na mag-isip at magpray, pero medyo wala pa rin..

bawal ang pagkain at drinks (P35 ang isang mineral water) sa loob dahil 'american-style' daw ang fontana.. kaya sa labas kami naglunch.. waaah.. nagkasala yata kami, sa bulalo at chicharon sa isang sikat na carinderia na medyo malapit doon..

6th and last wave experience ko na.. medyo maginaw dahil umuulan nang mahina. medyo pang titanic o pang cast away nga yung effect dahil may malalaking waves na, may bagyo pa.. nang kalagitnaan ng duration ng wave maker, biglang bumalik sa isip ko yung kwento ni k.eric nung kc, about sa pagsunod nya sa will ni Lord, na para lang syang isang log na inaanod ng waves, sumasabay lang sa alon ng will ni Lord..

napaisip din ako,. sa nararanasan ko nang mga panahong iyon, patalon-talon para hindi malunod, nakakainom ng tubig, napapagod, natatamaan ng malalakas na alon - hindi ganun kadali na maging isang log na dinadala ng alon ng will ni Lord. pero kailangan mong sabayan ang alon - kung mauuna ka, babagsak ka agad at kakainin ng mga alon.. kung mahuhuli ka naman, wala ka nang oras para huminga.. mahirap man, kailangang sabayan ang alon..

marami kang kailangan i-give up.. i-give up mo ang paghila sa nalalaglag na shorts, i-give up ang pagsigaw ng "woohoo!!" sa tuktok ng alon, i-give up na lumingon sa mga fans, at i-give up ang paglalaan ng oras para mag-isip o magtanong kung bakit dumadating yung mga alon, kung bakit malalakas, kung gaano kataas, kung ano ang sunod na mangyayari.. sabay lang dapat..

medyo maliit lang yung width ng pool sa may wave maker part, kaya sa dulo, malalakas talaga at malalaki yung mga alon - dun kami kasi mas enjoy. pumupunta din ako lagi sa may gitna ng pool, dahil kapag bumangga na sa dalawang pader yung mga alon, babalik yun at pag
nagsalubong sila, mas malaki - dun ako sumasabay dahil yun yung pinaka mataas na alon..

sabay lang sa alon.. kung hindi ka sasabay, kakainin ka ng alon at hindi ka makakahinga. kung sasabay ka lang, dadalhin ka lang nung alon - masarap yung pakiramdam, nakaka-relax, at nasa tuktok ng alon ka pa..

2006-07-25T17:36:00.000Z

argh... its a long holiday after my dreaded exams.. pero acad-mode pa rin kahit walang pasok ngayon.. =s kakatapos ko lang gawin yung diagram ng "gluconeogenesis" at ibang part ng ppt presentation namin sa group report.. dami ko pa babasahin...

bitin pa din ako sa pahinga kahit maglilimang araw nang walang pasok..

pero buti na lang, walang pasok.. kundi, tutulala lang ako sa report ko.. hehe

================================================

wala nang mas sasarap pa sa ensaymada at mainit na kape habang umuulan.....

================================================

2006-07-12T22:16:00.000Z

i wish...

...
..
.

i wish i always had a handy-dandy-portable bazooka with me everytime i travel along Edsa, or any other vehicle infested road...

so i could just blow away those reckless buses, nasty taxi cabs, and every annoying moving machine with wheels everytime they get the hell out of my head..

so.. i hope wishes really do come true...

muhahaha!!

2006-07-07T05:43:00.000Z

pwede bang magdrums na lang????

Random thoughts.. didnt have time this week to blog..

2006-07-02T22:25:00.000Z

june 27-28 2006.,

-pizzaaaa!!!! waaah.. ewan ko ba, na-adik yata ako sa yellowcab.. hehe, tuesday, salamat kay ate linda sa pag-treat nya sa yellowcab-SM north samin nila thirdie, melcah at ang sumingit na si kuya jaime! =b nung wed naman, family kasama ko sa yellowcab-monumento.. grabe.. tumataba lang yata ako..
-salamat sa mga bumati sa aking 19th kaarawan!!
-tanong ko sa aking sarili nung araw na yun (jun27),.. ano kaya feeling ng matanda? ng 20 yrs old?? matanda na ba talaga ko?? pano na??? panooo?!?!?!

june 30 2006

-hehe, manong na nga talaga si manong jaime.. parang kakaiba lang na makita sya sa manila - lalo na sa up gym! sumama pa sya sa bigf dahil request ko.. supposedly, diretso na kami ng 5pm sa megamall dahil may kakausapin pa sya.. kaso gusto ko din mkaattend ng bigf kaya hintay na lang kami, no choice sya dahil ako ang "host-tour guide" nya..-megamall.. gulat kami dahil kumain kami sa isang jap restau.. pero bottomless iced tea lang ang order namin, naka 5 refill yata kami! pinakyaw din nila yung libreng dilis... grabe, P218 agad ang tatlong bottomless iced tea..-hindi na kami nakanood ng sine dahil madami nang tao at kulang na sa time.. -tumingin si k.jaime sa isang flower shop para sa isang kasal sa july.. wla lang.. kakaibang experience na makaamoy ng ganun kadaming amoy ng bulaklak (kahit fake..)

july 1 2006

-8to11am ang klase ko.. 8am ako nagising, hindi na ko pumasok.. owel... nagPS2 lang kami ni gerald maghapon bago ko punta band reh..

july 2 2006

-1st high school fellowship sa cbc.. part ito ng letter ko to kay ate misha ngayong gabi regarding the fellowship.. ikaw na lang ang umintindi...

::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: :::::
pics to ng hiskul fellowship kanina.. konti lang umattend na hiskul eh, pero 15 kami.. half yata ay mga college at sya.. ehehe.. hindi ko alam kung sino ang pwede mong makulit na magsulat ng magandang write-up.. basta ang mga nakapunta si matthew, aina, rachel guzman, lois, moriah, mic-mic, russelle, gerald, sean, sana wla na ko nakalimutan.. mga 3pm na kami nakapagstart, bangag mode lahat kaming facilitator, buti na lang may konting energy pa kapatid mo! dalawang games muna, tapos nag-"special num" sila aina, lois at rachel.. kinanta ni aina at rachel "heart of worship" tumugtog si lois ng guitar.. sa sobrang excitement at pagkabangag, nakalimutan namin mag-opening prayer.. at nalimutan ni badik na magpakanta ng mini worship songs.. nag-message si pastor eric at nagpa-group dynamics.. tapos nag group prayer kami then closed.. we planned to eat outside pero hassle lang.. kaya nag-order kami ni badik at tracy ng tatlong large lots-a-pizza.. pagbalik namin, syempre naglalaro pa din sila.. naglead ng laro si k.eric, huling naka-gets si rachel at aina.. napaiyak nya si rachel dahil suko na at hindi ma-gets! hehe.. masarap ang pizza... kahit konti lang kami, we are so thankful that we felt Gods presence in our midst.. ito ang unang highschool fellowship sa cbc at sobrang blessing nang makita ang mga kabataang nakapunta para makinig sa salita ng diyos at sa fellowship.. medyo nakaka-frustrate lang nung una pero ok lang.. nakakatuwa din na makita yung iba na hindi ko inexpect na magpunta (si gerald at matthew! hehehe.. nanood pa daw kasi sila ng Pacquiao match eh... ) kaya kasama si sean, micmic at moriah, hinila ko sila para mukha kaming madami!! tsaka nag-stay pa sila ate gemma eh, mas nauna pa kaming natapos kesa sa mga nanay nila.. parang exciting na thrilling na nakaka-kaba na hindi maintindihan ang feeling kung paano magwowork si God para sa youth ng cbc! pls pray lang na magpatuloy ang growth ng bawat youth, at hindi lang mag-seek ng fellowship just for fun, pizza or kahit ano.. pray for open hearts every 2nd and 4th friday at 1st at 3rd sundays na may youth fellowship.. pray din na hindi mapagod ang mga leaders at speakers,. hehe, si kuya eric, nung umaga lang ata (or late night) nya nalaman na mag-speak sya.. basta.. tapos sa college sunday skul din, si kuya at badik lang studyante ko.. owel.. sabi ko nga kanina, buti na lang, medyo sanay ako sa mga 'pioneering' na iscf fellowship kaya hindi ganun kalakas ang tama sa akin ng mga konting attendees.. astig si Lord, galing makita how he orchestrates the circumstances na dinadaanan natin! hehe.. medyo malabo na yata tong email ko.. basta, eto yung pics! (i hope i wont forget to attach everythign this time..) =b
::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: ::::: :::::

2006-06-21T23:11:00.000Z

nanggaling ako sa prayer mtg (na, by Gods grace, ay maging "Midweek Service" na eventually..)

as usual, may groupings din sa prayer time.. at dahil medyo madami kami (25 lahat.. may times na mas madami pa dun, mga twice a year nangyayari - pasko at bigtime birthdays na nataon sa wednesday..) 9 groups kami with 3 to 4 persons. Dalawang nanay ang nakasama ko sa group.. grabe.. ang tindi ng na-share ng isang mother.. tatlo sa apat na anak nya ay nasa college.. yung panganay, nagwowork ng part time sa jollibee, yung second sponsored sa bible school, at yung third ay sa vocational na electronics course.. i was caught speechless matapos marinig ang kanyang naishare.. sobrang wala sila, financially, pero sobra din na naipakita nila ang dependence nila kay God.. sa bawat blessing na matanggap nila, kay God nila sinisisi.. isa dun yung sa 2nd na anak nya, na nagulat na lang at may nagsponsor na pala sa kanya (supposedly, gagawa pa sya ng letter sa president ng school, dahil may foundation yung isang church member namin na nagiisponsor sa mga students from our church..) ayun.. nakakabigla, nakakagulat na ikaw na walang pera ay hindi kailangan lumapit sa sponsor - may dumating na lang basta.. at si God ang may kasalanan.. kapag may hindi nabayarang food sa canteen, bigla na lang may magbabayad, hindi kilala kung sino.... yung panganay naman na nagpart time, medyo free ngayon ang sked dahil 4 hours na lang sya per day (dati ay 6 hours..) at nakakabless dahil nagbawas pa talaga ng sked sa trabaho, at maging sa iskul para lang maka-attend na ulit ng church at prayer fellowships... astig...
ako.. kanino ako tumitingin kapag may kailangan ako?? o, mangangailangan pa ba ako, ngayong halos lahat ng gugustuhin ko (na hindi naman siguro ganun kadami..) ay mabilis ko lang makukuha..? kinakailangan ko pa ba ang Diyos, ngayong kuntento ako at masasabi namang madalang lang kung magkulang? si God ba ang tinitingala ko kung may makuha ako, lalo na sa lahat ng meron ako ngayon??? grabe.. nakaka-humble talaga.. at nakakapang-gising.. na hindi ko pa siguro talaga na-let go ang lahat to the point na si God lang ang kakailanganin ko at sa kanya lang ako magdedepend.. ewan ko kung ano pa masasabi ko, natameme talaga ko at hindi nakapagsalita matapos marinig ang kwento nya...

2006-06-09T04:18:00.000Z

STATUS: naglalaway...

at long last, nahiram ko na din ang All This Time DVD ng Sting kay ate misha (10 yrs yata muna ang lumipas bago ko nahawakan ang copy..) ngayon, hindi ko alam kung magsisisi ako or what....

astig!!!!!

(-_-) . . . . . . . ..

Part 2 ng kwentong KC (originally magkadikit, pero hindi kinaya ng blogspot..)

2006-05-24T10:20:00.000Z

GRACE... hindi pa man nagsisimula ang KC, ito na ang dini-deal sa akin ni Lord.. (kahit na ilang beses kong tinatanggi..). Naging pamilyar na ito sa akin sa pamamagitan ng mga kwento ni Philip Yancey sa "Finding God in Unexpected Places", "What so Amazing About Grace", at "The Gift of Pain" (c/o tint..=) at maging sa aking mga madugong QT, at sa ilang pagkakataon sa church, esbi, etc. at syempre (ulit..) , lalo na sa mga madudugong QT guides ni pareng Oswald Chambers nung KC... (simula Feb21 hanggang March3 ang nabasa ko sa KC, mga first 2 weeks yun.. natigil.. hindi ko alam, either busy tlga or hindi ko lang tlga kinakaya..).. Pero noon, malabo pa ang dating ng picture na nakikita ko sa Grace. Na-reinforce ng KC kung ano ang pahiwatig nito sa akin at napiga ito palabas... Nung testi time, iniisip ko, ano ba ang totoong saysay ng bawat session, exposition, laro, CI, at lahat ng pinagagagawa namin sa camp? (isa pang revelation..) tinulugan ko ang alloted time para sa Testimony Writing.. hindi pa bumabaon sa aking isipan kung ano nga ba at bakit... bumangon ako sa kinaumagahan upang magsulat.. aking napagtanto, Grace lang ni God ang dahilan ng lahat: kung bakit ako nakapag-KC, kung bakit ka-KC mates ko ang mga KCmates ko, kung paano ako nabless sa mga speakers, staff at counselors, kung bakit na-enjoy ko ang bawat sunset at mga bituin, kung bakit ko na-enjoy ang bawat meal (kahit ang monggo burger..), kung bakit ako nahirapan sa BSW, at madami pang iba... Hindi maidedeny ang grace ni God.. kahit na sa ating ordinaryong buhay. at ipinakita nya ito sa pamamagitan ni Hesus, nang tayo ay niligtas niya mula sa kasalanan... isa sa dulot ng mga 4:30 QT ko ay ang pagmumuni muni kung ano nga ba ang standing ko kay God - kung sino ba ako, at sino ba sya..

Sabi ni pareng Oswald, "When we receive the life of Christ through the Holy Spirit, He unites us with God so that His love is demonstrated in us... The Lord's next point is - "Pour yourself out, Don't testify about how much you love me and dont talk about the wonderful revelation you have had, just feed my sheep..." if i love my Lord, i have no business guided by natural emotions - i have to feed His sheep"!!!

Narerecognize mo ba kung gaano ka-gracious si God sa buhay mo, kahit sa maliliit na bagay lang? Binibilang mo pa ba ang mga blessings nya sayo? paano ka magrespond dito.. sigurado, mahal ka ni God, pero kung ikaw ang tatanungin, "Do you Love Me?" (John 21:17), ang iyong isasagot? kung oo, mapapatunayan mo ba ito??

Hindi sapat na hanggang taga-salo lang tayo ng Grace niya.. hindi din sapat na hanggang "Thank You" lang at "I Love You Lord!" (with matching iyak, taas ng kamay, luhod, sigaw, etc..) ang isagot natin.. tayo ay hindi bini-bless para lang ma-bless tayo, kundi para maging blessing din tayo sa iba, at ma-glorify si God dahil doon. Ang KC ay isang napakalaking blessing sa akin ni God, at napakadaming blessings ang kasama nito...

At tumimo sa akin yung nakakaiyak na "washing of the feet" na hindi basta-basta ang pag-Feed ng sheep nya.. ang mga counselors at staff na tiningala namin sa loob ng 24 araw ay andun, nakaluhod at naghuhugas ng paa (bukid yun, at syempre, sanay na kaming nakasandals lang sa campsite at madumi ang mga paa.. pa-itiman!!) - pero hindi pa yun ang nakakaiyak... mas matindi nung habang pinanonood ko sila, aking napagtanto na yun ang extent ng dapat na response natin sa Grace nya, mag serve to the point na ididisregard ko ang lahat, luluhod, at maghuhugas ng paa.. pero hindi pa yun ang pinaka nakakaiyak.. pinakamatindi nang maitanong ko sa aking sarili, "ganito ba ang ginagawa ko nang nagseserve ako kay God? May pinipili ba akong paraan ng pagseserve sa kanya? Mas pinpili ko bang magserve kung comfortable lang ako at ang situation? Ganito ba kalalim ang pagserve ko kay God? kakayanin ko ba ito??? Nakapaghugas na ba ako at willing makapaghugas ng paa sa pagserve ko kay God??"

Nang ako ay huhugasan na ng paa, tinanong ko sila kuya tan at ate mutya (ang aming counselor sa SG) habang namumugto ang mga mata at nag-iiyakan kaming lahat...

"nagpepedicure din ba kayo?" hwehehe..!!! (n_n)

Minsan, dahil sa sobrang blessed na tayo, nagiging overfamiliar na tayo sa mga blessings nya, at hindi na natin ito pinapansin.. hindi na natin alam na bini-bless na nya tayo sa madaming pagkakataon... hindi tayo makapagbilang ng blessings, hindi dahil sa wala tayong natatanggap, kundi dahil dinededma natin ang mga maliliit, maging ang mga malalaking blessings ni Lord.... Maging ang realisasyon na tayo'y niligtas niya mula sa kasalanan ay hindi na tumitimo ng malalim sa ating mga puso... nawawala na ang kaligayahan ng pagpili niya sa atin...

Gaano kalaki ang mga blessings na iyong natanggap, at patuloy na natatanggap mo? Nabibilang mo ba kung gaano kadami ang blessings ni Lord sa iyo? o binibilang mo pa nga ba ang mga blessings niya? At sa bawat blessing, paano ka nagrerespond kay Lord?? Nagseserve ka ba na hindi alintana kung ano man ang iyong kalagayan, ang environment kung saan ka maglilingkod, at kung sino/ano man ang iyong paglilingkuran??? Paano ka magserve at ano ang attitude mo sa pagseve sa kung saan ka man tinawag upang maglingkod???

Sa ating paglilingkod, huwag nating alisin sa ating isipin ang grace ni God sa atin.. kung gaano nya tayo kamahal, at ang ating response na dapat ay nababalot din ng ating lubos na pagmamahal sa kanya.. at kasama nito, ang pagmamahal natin sa kanya na dulot ng kanyang Grace ang magtutulak sa atin na maglingkod, hanggang sa ating paghuhugas ng paa ng iba upang makapaglingkod...

isa pang mahabang post,...

2006-05-23T08:34:00.000Z

sobrang daming nangyari sa KC.. hindi ko maisulat isa-isa.. it took me 3 weeks to dig again into my memory at mapiga lahat ng mga pangyayari.. hindi pa syempre ito ang lahat... mahirap nang hukayin kumpleto sa isang pagkakataon lang.. at dagdag pa dito, mayroon pang mga pangyayaring mas magandang iba ang magkukwento.. anyways, basahin mo na lang kung ano ang mababasa mo sa pagkahaba-habang blog na ito, ikaw na lang ang bah alang umintindi.. (n_n) (sinubukan ko sa abot ng aking makakaya na ayusin sa chronological order ang bawat punto, pero sa bandang gitna/huli ay sa tingin ko ay hindi ko na naisakatuparan ang aking mithiing ito..) (matatagpuan din ito sa ISCF logbook, pero mas nahuli itong paglagay ko sa blog, kaya medyo edited na ito, at mas maikli... 3 pages ang nagastos ko sa logbook...)

- GTKY ng NCR at NL at UPLB sa port (nung una, kaming magkaka-lcdc lang ang nagpapansinan,, minsan, sa sobrang tuwa na nagkita kami ulit, hindi na din kami nag-usap..) at pier15 ng manila at as usual, "suplado-mode" ako...
- nagulat at hindi mukhang "tourist accomodation" ang tourist accomodation ng tiket namin (Superferry 19).. kulitan sa barko, patintero, pag-unahan sa napakahabang pila sa food (dahil dun kami sa baba.. hindi rin mukhang pang tourist accomodation ang kainan namin..), pakikinig sa ugong ng makina ng barko habang natutulog kami, paghanap sa swimming pool na hindi makita dahil sa Superferry 12 lang pala meron nun, kwentuhan, kulitan, joke time ng mga UPLB at ni kuya Walle, kwentuhan, kulitan....
- pagiging disappointed namin sa una dahil parang hindi kami lumabas ng NCR (sabi nga ni ehco, parang nasa cavite/bulacan/batangas lang..) kasi after ng 20hrs sa barko, diretso campsite na kami- hindi na namin na-feel agad na nasa Bacolod na nga kami...
- pagiging disappointed din dahil 7 hectares ng palay at hindi nauubos na palaka tuwing gabi lang ang makikita, hindi tulad nung LCDC 2k4 ko na may beach at LCDC 2k5 na may bundok.. ngunit paglaon ay na-appreciate din ang bawat pagsunod ng windmill sa hangin, at ang libo-libong stars sa gabi na tila nasisilayan mo na ang buong kalawakan...
-pakikihalubilo sa co-campers (at staff at counselors) na nanggaling sa iba't ibang sulok ng Pilipinas.. naging exciting ito sa akin lalo na nung una dahil huhulaan mo ang kanilang kultura, at gagamayin ang kanilang ugali.. syempre, hindi nila agad yun ipapakita - maraming "mukhang mahiyain" nung una, yung iba naman may mga mapanlisik na mga pagtingin na hindi mo alam kugn bakit, pero syempre nang lumaon ay unti-unti na kaming naglabasan ng aming mga tunay na kulay.. (n_n)
- paggising ko ng 4am para magQT ng 4:30 hanggang 7:15 kahit na nagigising ko ang aking mga katabi (sa lapag na ako natulog.. long story.. at sa gitna ng dalawa sa aking minamahal na mga cabinmate..). ang qt ko na ito ay isa sa mga pinakamasarap na experience ko sa KC! syempre hindi naman araw araw ay 4:30 ang gising ko, meron ding pagkakataon na nagising ako ng 5:00, 5:30, 6:15 at 7:00am...
- desserts!!!! pinya, papaya, pakwan, saging, melon, at ang hindi nauubos na kamote...
- panghaharana sa mga girls na may bday tuwing umaga.
- buffets sa Humayan Opening, IV day Celebration (na ginawa sa "night"...), Missions Night, at sa Banquet Night..(ikaw ay nagkakamali kung iniisip mong puro pagkain lang ang nagustuhan ko sa mga "buffet" na ito, pero sa isang banda, malaking part ang ginampanan nun sa aking alaala..)
- ang aking ultimate-date nung banquet night... si ate chiri!!! nung una, ewan ko kung matutuwa ako dahil huling banquet night ko na yun (na camper ako) at hindi camper ang ka-date ko,.. at nung time na "naubos" na ang mga babaeng naghihintay at nakita ako ni ate chiri, parang napilitan lang sya (syempre, gabi ang banquet night, madilim.. tapos tinanong nya "wala na bang iba... teka, sino ba to?.. ay si billy pala to!.. sige na nga ako na lang..) na sa kalaunan ay inamin din nya,.. pero nakakatuwa at nakakabless na makadate ang camp director.. mdami kaming napag-usapang bagay bagay.. sa ministry, sa lablayp, sa KC, sa gentleman-liness (tama ba???) ng esbi guys sa gitna ng (****censored****) (n_n)... and at least, dahil camp direk ang date ko, safe sa showbiz! bwehehe.. (DISCLAIMER: si ate chiri din ang nag-interview sa akin para sa KC.. at syempre, sya ang campus staff ng diliman ng 2k5-2k6... o diba? ayus!!)
- kulitan sa cabin, ang "Cali Nights", at revelations na walang katapusan (4 times kami nag-full cabin dev, isa lang ata ang seryoso.. nung students day..), kulitan ulit... miss ko na ang paghidait!!
- ang madugong O, ang madugong I, at ang madugong A.. ang madugong study guides.. ang madugong BSL!!! (-_-)
- ang pagtulog sa ilalim (sa labas, hindi sa loob, sa labas..) ng Ifugao hut namin, (ang Paghidait..)exposed sa ginaw, sa timus (isang kakaibang insekto, na may kinakagat daw na specific na parte sa mga lalaki..), sa mga palaka, at sa mga libo-libong insekto... malamig man, ngunit mainit dahil sa sama-sama kaming Paghidait boys sa baba..
- ang students day! kung saan kagulat-gulat na kasama ako sa mga "counselors" at napagbotohan pa na maging "head" counselor..... ang paggising sa mga tao twing umaga.. ang pag-iingay para tawagin ang mga camper... at ang (oo, irereveal ko na..) hindi pagligo ng isang araw dahil sa walang oras at sobrang pagod.... (isa pang revelation..) na-late din akong gumising para sa isang session, tanghali yun, at ginising pa ako ni rein, ang camp direk, 15min before time...
- ang outing sa Mt. Mambucal!! ang pagkagulat sa bawat makitang tao - para kaming lumabas sa Big Brother House! "learn-how-to-swim" in 30minutes ni kuya bong, paghike sa tinaguriang "7Falls" na hanggang 6th falls lang ang narating namin (at nalanguyan, natalunan, napag-picture-an,..), pag-hike pababa, talunan sa pool...
- (kung matutuwa ka sa isang ito, mahabang kwento ito sa katotohanan - kulang pa ang tuwa mo! ipakwento mo na lang sa akin kapag ako ay nakita mong pakalat-kalat kung saan...)ang di malilimutang FUN NIGHT! kung saan nagpakitang gilas si joji sa pamamagitan ng magic,"kumanta" si mike, sumayaw ang Gugma girls.. at syempre, ang hindi magpapatalong Paghidait Boys na nagpakita ng panibagong talento (na ikinagulat ng manonood, maging ng aming sarili..!) sa pamamagitan ng isang "interpretative dance" (ewan ko kung ano yung "iniinterpret" namin habang umiikot ikot, tumatambling, tumatalon talon, nagwawala,..) to the tune of "One Way"
- ang Moro-moro!!
- (isa pang mahabang kwentuhan...) ang pag-learn (ng sapilitan) ng ilonggo dahil sa na-OP ako sa CI (jutay lang..), pakikipagbonding sa CI host, pagpunta sa kanilang bukid sakay sa isang tricycle (anim kami kasama ang mga host..), pagpapaligo sa baboy, pagtulong sa paglinis ng barangay, presentation sa plaza, etc...
- pakikipaglaro sa CI host family sa Pista sa Nayon... (pag-angkas ni tatay sa aking likod..)
- star gazing sessions (nakahiga kami sa damo sa may bball court kasama ang mga nagtatalunang palaka..)
- Missions Night!! lalo na ang pangungulit ni Kuya Jun (spaceship daw ang mga pyramids ni pharaoh nung old testament!!! kamote, pano mo nga ba sha-share an kung ganun..?)
- ang madugo,.. at maputik, at maulan, at maingay, at mabigat!!(bakit kaya mabigat?) na Amazing Race ni Kuya Bong..
- paglalaba 2x a week.. minsan hinde.. nagbobomba lang ng poso... (Bomba star.. hwekwek)
- paliligo sa poso!!! (ito ay after ng amazing race ni kuya bong... wehehe.. hindi pang public ang pictures eh..)
- testimonies na nakakagulat at sobrang nakakabless at nakakaiyak....
- SG bonding sessions at stargazing sa last SG.. (may shooting star!!)
- kulitan...
- kulitan ulit...
- huling kulitan...
- kulitan na naman at huling revelations/laglagan sa Superferry 15.. ngayon na mas malaki ang barko (pero wala pa ring swimming pool!!!), Agawan Base naman ang laro namin...
- tapos na pala ang camp..

parang kung paano nabigla ang madami sa amin na kami ay magk-KC, ganun din na nagulantang kami na tapos na pala ang masasayang araw namin sa camp.. lalabas mula sa nadevelop na comfort zones.. patungo sa realidad, sa totoong mundo..

Orange and Melons

2006-05-19T19:54:00.000Z

eto ang tinaguriang boy band ng CBC last sunday!

ang Orange and Melons.... hindi na kami FHM (Five Holy Men)

acoustics ang tugtog namin nun, gitarista si ian, bass si third, keyboard (na Korg! muhaha!) si kuya, percussions ako, at vocals si kuya iggi...

line-up:

What a friend we have in Jesus (Reggae)
-
Purihin ka
I could sing of your love
We want to see Jesus lifted high

(waah.. nalimutan ko yung title ng isang song.... ohwell.. abangan nyo na lang ang album namin!! in stores near you!!)

last week...

2006-05-16T06:41:00.000Z

RoadTrip!! (05/09/2006)

i woke up at 4am to check my email while waiting for my lil sis to prepare, which, on a girls average, would take about 30 to 45 minutes(haha!).. supposedly, we will leave CBC at 5am, but we left at 5:45..

1st stop - Bayside Bible Camp, Lemery, Batangas.
after the long Revo ride, enjoying the sites as we passed mla, pasay, cavite, and tagaytay, we finally got to the campsite where ptr ronel was scheduled to speak.. it was the ABCCOP natl youth conference, which accomodated 328 campers the time we visited (a small group has 2 counselors and 30 campers!) last year, they only had about 120 to 150 campers.. but we didnt witness any chaos among the campers.. in fact, we thought, if there was an awarding in every youth camp for the most behaved campers, almost all of them would get the awward.. anyways, we stayed only for a few hours so our judgement wouldnt be reliable. (n_n) We became ptr ronels alagad, following him wherever he goes, sitting at the front, behaving like a pastors guests in his speaking engagement (we tried our best to 'behave'..) after ptr ronels talk on media, we had a free batangas-suman-meryenda with C2 and then after a few minutes, a free porkchop lunch, out of the hosts generosity.. we dint get to make friends with the 328 campers though because we left after devouring their lunch..

2nd stop - Hardin sa Tabing Ilog, Pasong Kawayan, Nasugbu, Batangas.
we met pipay the monkey! such a cute creature.. haha.. (n_n) the campsite wasn't that big.. having just some tents as cabins for overnight stays.. and the almost stagnant river, with a small refreshing kubo at the side. we met ori girl!! thinking at first that she was just some lost kid (hehe, peace tayo ori!!! =) and ian and i joined their 10 minute "mountain trek", just to explore the place.. and to our utter amazement, we saw at the other side of the river the most precious creatures that you would enjoy swimming with in a river - carabaos!! haha! and when we returned to the kubo after 15minutes or so, we saw the fruit of the privilege of having them join in the river... may ebak na lumulutang!!! wo0hoo00..!! but the caretaker told us anyways that compared to the size of the river, the carabao s*** wouldn't count much.. sheeesh!! (o_0) after a few picture taking at the river, we proceeded to the campsites tindahan and ate and bought every P1 mangoes we could see.. after ransacking the place of mangoes, we then left for another trip-trip..

3rd stop - tindahan somewhere in nasugbu, batangas
P60 ang papaya, P22 ang 1 1/2 kilo ng avocado, P45 ang isang boteng honeybee na mukhang rugby...

4th stop - Viewpoint, Tagaytay
after several attempts to get a free spot overlooking the taal volcano from the side of the main road, we finally decided to go to Viewpoint restaurant to enjoy the sight.. there were only a few people eating at the luxurious restaurant and when we came in, the waiters did not show any hint of hesistation to accompany us to a table.. to their discontent, we only asked "may halo-halo po ba kayo?", "ah, ganon..." *silence* . . . .. then after a few more looking around the place, as if we were inspecting every single part of the restaurant then rob them the next night, we went out then found the most beautiful-est point in Viewpoint.. after taking pictures with the taal volcano, we then quietly walked away to the car, then fled away..

5th stop - SLEX stop over!
after the long ride, we had dinner at chowking, the official (as it seems..) restaurant of ABCCOP churches.. tracy asked if we could order at KFC, so she ordered a go-go thing and i ordered... some meal (i forgot!! argh..) then, seeing badik and tinay at the ice cream crappe thing store, we ordered a vanilla-peach and rockyroad(? forgot again..) crappe while watching how they make the expensive dessert and bugging the cashier..

after enjoying the "all-expense paid trip" (hehe), i headed straight to church for band reh, arrived home at 11pm.. ohwell.. sana maulit ulit.. (n_n)

--------------------------------------------------------

Cavite!! (06/10-11/2006)
kamote, P140 ang overnyt stay at P50 per meal!!! argh.. muntik na kong hindi tumuloy sa ISCF LCDC dahil wa'ay na ko budget! pero tumuloy pa rin ako, at by faith, umasang may matutulugan.. hinatid-sundo ko muna si gerald sa UP college of music para sa kanyang violin lessons, tumambay sa bhaus nila bcel, bago dumiretso sa cavite.. mga 1pm na ako nakasakay ng LRT at 2 na nakarating sa SM bacoor.. mga 30to45 minutes ulit bago ko mineet ni Len, LCDC 2k5 mate ko sa sm bacolod at sabay kaming nag-"baby bus" papuntang naic.. waaah! halos isang oras din pala ang byahe simula bacoor hanggang naic! nak ng tinapa, kala ko sa tabi-tabi lang.. malapit na pala sa beach ang naic bayan.. anyways, nakarating din kami sa wakas sa bayan at nameet si jayson (KCmate!) at nakisakay kanila kuya bong papuntang campsite.. tumambay, nakibuhat at nakiayos lang muna kami dun sa unang dalaw namin dahil banquet night sa gabing iyon.. sayang lang, nakikain lang kami (kinulang ng ulam! hehe) at hindi na napanood ang presentation ng mga campers kasi gagabihin si len.. napagdesisyunan din na kanila jayson na lang ako makitulog, pagkatapos nyang magpaalam sa nanay nya, na nandun din sa campsite! may resort pa nga daw sila, dahil sa tabi sila ng beach at pag-aari ng kamag-anak nila yung parteng iyon ng beach.. sabi naman ni len, baka daw may pool din.. pooltry! (-_-) nyeknyeks...
at may manok nga! napaka-hospitable naman ni nanay, habang nagpapahinga na lang si kuya dahil may OJT daw sya.. medyo nakakahiya lang dahil sa baba sila natulog habang ininvade ko ang kwarto nila sa taas.. ok lang naman daw sabi ni nanay dahil sanay na silang dun matulog.. pumayag na din naman ako.. nag quiet time together naman kami ni jayson bago matulog, at nagdesisyon na gumising ng 5am para magjogging sa beach.. (dinalaw pala muna namin ang kanyang superfriends nang gabing iyon sa may beach,. maganda ang beach kapag gabi.. 11pm kami bumalik sa kanilang munting bahay..)
5:15, nagising ako, at pilit na niyugyog ang tulog na tulog na si jayson.. 5:30, 5:45.. ngunit wala pa ring saysay ang aking pagyugyog kaya akoy natulog na lang ulit.. 7:30, ginising ako ni jayson.. ayus! nauna pa tuloy sya nagising! hehe.. nagpunta pa rin kami sa beach kahit mataas na ang sikat ng araw, at hala! lumitaw na ang mga nagkalat na bangka, basura at mga patay na isda.. na-enjoy ko lang tingnan yung ilog na konektado sa beach.. maganda na sana, tanggalin lang yung basura..
pagtapos naming magbreakfast, makipagkwentuhan at kulitan kay nanay, at maligo ay dumiretso na kami sa bayan para hintayin si Len.. naglunch sa jobee, sa "mall" ng naic.. at saka nagtrike papuntang campsite.. pagdating doon ay si kuya bong ang una naming natagpuan at tumulong para mag-ayos sa extra challenge niya.. pagtapos ng patambay-tambay, pagkain at pagtulog sa isang nipa hut na may gulong, dumating na din ang oras na pinakahihintay.. akala namin ni jayson ay uulan din tulad ng sa KC na umulan during the extra challenge.. sayang hindi!! hehe.. nakakatuwa din dahil may swimming pool sila.. hindi nakakatuwa na kasama yung pool sa challenge nila at wala kaming pool sa challenge - nakakatuwa dahil pagkatapos na pagkatapos lumangoy sa tubig para hanapin ang karayom at jolen, langoy agad sa putik! woohooO!! sa taniman ng halaman sila lumangoy kaya mas mahaba at mas makitid yun kaysa sa putik namin nung KC.. medyo panghuli ang station namin (nagmarshall kami) kaya medyo natagalan bago kami makapangulit ng campers.. namiss ko tuloy ang feeling camper, puro laro lang, wla nang ibang iniisip... matapos ang extra challenge, diretso uwi na kami, hindi na nagdinner, dahil wala na kaming pera.. sabi ko nga, hindi na ko mabubuhay kung magstay pa ko hanggang saturday (as planned..) buti na lang at nasabayan namin si kuya eric pauwi, at sa may north ave-edsa na ko sumakay ng bus..

-------------------------------------------------------------
SVCF GA (06/12/2006)
nyeklats.. Christlikeness na naman ang message.. matapos matusok ng malalim sa KC kung ano ang ibig sabihin nito, yun na naman ang msg na nagstrike sakin sa GA.. haay.. mahirap nga.. mahirap tlga.. pagpray mo na lang ako para may saysay naman ang pagdalaw mo sa blog na to.. mag-iscf teamhead na ko dis skulyear, tpos youth leader pa sa church.. ohwell.. so help me, GOd.. (n_n)
-------------------------------------------------------------
argh! (06/13/2006)
matapos kong gumawa ng isang mabuting bagay (pagpulot ng nalaglag na sinampay.. haha!!), lumakas ang hangin at may mga pumasok (oo, madami..) na kung ano sa kaliwang mata ko (11:30am).. after an hour of failed attempts to remove that cursed thing, wla pa rin.. hindi din tinablan ng visine ang sakit ng mata ko.. kaya pumunta ako sa youth mtg (3pm) ng may panyo sa nagluluhang mata.. nagpraktis din ako sa banda habang lumuluha.. argh.. buti na lang, medyo nakatulong yata yung chloremphenacol (?) drops at medyo nawala na nung linggo..
------------------------------------------------------------
San Miguel Beer.. este, San Miguel Philharmonic Orchestra (06/14/2006)
pero sumasakit pa rin ang mata ko! pambihira, hindi ako makatingin sa kaliwa... buti na lang at si boxter lang ang tinugtog ko, hindi drums.. dahil sanay akong medyo nakatingin sa left kapag nagtatambol.. nakikain muna ako ng tapsi ni lope de vega sa bahay nila ian bago kami dumiretso sa Shangrila.. nyeklats, ang aga namiN! 4:15 ng hapon ay nandun na kami, 7pm pa magstart ang concert.. kaya medyo nag-ikot lang kami muna at nag-girl watching si ian (hwehehe!!!) medyo ok na yung mata ko, pero sumasakit nga lang every 30 or 45 mins kaya naluluha pa rin.. medyo mapula din nun kaya mistulang adik lang naman ako.. buti na lang naka-polo kami kaya medyo mukha kaming tao (yun kasi ang uniform namin sa "orange and melons" nang tumugtog kami kanina sa church) matapos ang ilang pag-iikot, pag-CR, pagsilip sa praktis ng choir, pagkain ng ice cream, ay sa wakas, nakita namin sila ate misha na may seats sa baba! pero hindi naman kita ang tugtugan sa seats kaya pumanik pa rin kami sa 3rd level.. matapos makatagpo ng medyo magandang spot ay inenjoy namin ang concert habang nanginginig ang mga tuhod sa kakatayo.. nakakatuwang panoorin ang synchronized na pagtugtog ng mga violin! nakakatuwa ding panoorin yung nagtatambourine! whehehe, kapag nag-Music ako, kukuha ako ng major in tambourine... (n_n) nameet din namin ni ian si charm matapos ang ilang magagandang kanta.. nagdinner sa KFC matapos ang concert, at sumakay sa bus pauwi na minamaneho ng isang adik na driver.. owel.. buhay pa naman kaming nakarating ng bahay...

2006-04-03T00:06:00.000Z

i will miss you.. you, and the moments that we've spent together.. the times that i sat with you.. the times that always made me smile, the priceless moments that made me happy. and i will miss you,. your smooth skin.. your perfect curves.. your sweet voice.. and i will miss the music that we make together.. it would be only for a short time.. but long enough for me to look for you each night.. im still here, looking at you,. but im missing you now, knowing that i wont see you again after a few days.. and as i make my last strokes upon your loving head, i pray that God would make time pass by quickly during the days that we will be apart.. i will miss you.. im missing you now..

your drummer

========================================================
waaah.. mamimiss ko drumset ko.. =S oo nga.. dadalhin ko nga si Vladi sa KC, pero iba pa din ang may kaharap na drumset.. oo nga, madami nga akong pwedeng paluing damit, bag, o notebook (at mas maganda syang praktis sa chops (n_n) ).. ngunit iba ang pakiramdam ng pagpalo sa totoong drums.. argh.. isa ito sa mga bagay na humihila sa akin sa pagsama sa KC.. kulang kulang na isang linggo ang nalalabi bago ako umalis.. halos limang araw.. pupunta akong church tuwing ala-una hanggang alas-singko upang magpapalo.. kailangan kong magpahinga para sa KC, pero masaya ako kapag pumapalo ako.. kung pwede lang na mag-back out.. mag back out para magdrums.. kung pwede lang kitang dalhin.. kung magiging sapat lang ang natitirang oras na magkakasama tayo....
hwehe.. pero meron pang ibang dahilan kung bakit gusto kong maiwan..at dahilan ko din ito kung bakit gusto kong sumama.. malabo tlga.. isa dito - nagstart na magplanning ang youth!!! woohoo!!! Praise the Lord!! hehe.. matagal na panahon din akong nanalangin na makahanap ng isa pang youth na makakatulong ko.. hindi ko kasi kaya talagang mag-isang maghatak.. suplado ako.. hindi ako ma-PR.. kahit anong gawin ko, hindi ko sila mahatak.. pero sa awa ng Diyos, hindi ako nakahanap ng makakatulong ko, siya pa lumapit sa akin!!! eheh, sa katauhan ni badik (sobrang blessed ako sayo pare..) sumasakit tlga ulo ko tuwing linggo.. walang nangyayari.. nahihirapan ako.. nabigla naman kasi ako talaga.. dati, paupo-upo lang ako, nakikinig lang.. at nagk-criticize kung may mga mali ang mga youth leaders.. haha! ang sama ko tlga.. pero yun nga, kaya naging sobrang malaking batok sa akin ang pinapagawa sakin ni Lord.. pakialamero tlaga sya.. dati, masaya na akong taga-attend lang.. natutuwa sa mga bagay na katuwa-tuwa.. apathetic sa mga hindi.. naiinis sa mga mali.. nagulat ako, bigla na lang akong kinuha kung saan man.. hindi ako bagay maging lider! ayoko! iba na lang! wag na lang! pero wala akong magagawa, kaya nga siya "Lord" eh.. wala sa plano ko ang magKC.. balak kong kumuha ng Stat101 at HK105 (psychomotor skills) ngayong summer.. kailangan ko silang makuha para makakuha din ako ng extra units na pang med.. may DVBS din ang church sa april.. may ABCCOP sportsfest pa at gusto kong maglead sa ABCCOP youth.. magastos ang KC.. matagal ang KC, matrabaho.. ayokong sumama.. ewan ko ba. Pero ngayon gusto ko na.. gusto na hindi talaga.. hindi ko pa rin maintindihan hanggang ngayon kung bakit ako sasama.. sasama ba tlga ako? magpa-late kaya ako sa barko? pano kung kulangin briefs ko, valid reason yun para hindi sumama diba??? diba?? dibaaah??!? (n_n) hehe.. pero sasama ako.. maliit na bagay lang siguro ito para sa mga nagKC, para sa iba, para sa iyo.. pero sa akin, malaking step of faith na ito.. hindi talaga ako excited sa KC.. excited ako na matapos ko ang KC at sumabak ulit sa mga trabaho ko, sa mga pinapagawa ni Lord sa akin.. grabe.. naalala ko, sunod sunod na mga lecture yun.. sa sermon tuwing linggo, sa Quiet time twing gabi, sa radyo, sa TV, sa prayer meeting (kahit sa prayer meetign sa ibang church!!!), maging sa sarili kong Sunday school lesson sa youth.. minsan gusto ko na lang umayaw.. magtago.. pumunta sa lugar na hindi ako mahihila ni Lord.. pero ginawa ko na yun dati.. nagtago sa sarili, at nanood lang sa mga dating leaders... hehe.. minsan, parang nire-regret ko nang nagpray ako ng "Lord, bakit ganun yung nangyayari sa youth namin? bakit hindi nyo ko gamitin, tambay lang naman ako eh...".. pambihira.. minsan, masarap umayaw.. minsan, nakakalunod.. minsan, gusto ko na lang umuwi ng maaga pagkatapos ng service tuwing linggo.. minsan, gusto ko na lang magpaka-extreme na suplado, magpaka-anti social, at hindi mamansin ng mga makukulit na tao.. minsan, nakakatakot.. ano naman ang sunod dito???? pero huwag muna yun.. KC muna sa ngayon.. youth muna.. kaya gusto ko nang sumama..
pero ayaw ko na din sumama... dahil nga nagpaplanning na ang youth.. kanina after service, apat kaming youth na nakapagmeet para doon (ang dami noh?!) medyo malabo ang mga plano dahil nga apat lang kami, kaya next sunday, iga-gather lahat ng youth ng church, by God's grace, para magmeet.. na-excite ako kanina, pero naalala kong hindi pala ako makakasama doon.. nakaka-excite, pero nakakalungkot sa parte ko.. nakakatakot din - pano kung ganun ulit, na hindi sila nagpunta sa mtg? pano kung hindi ulit sila namansin? pano..? pero naisip ko din, baka naman hindi, wla naman ako eh.. takot lang yata sila sakin.. hweheheh, wag naman sana.. (>_<') ayoko na kung ganun.. hehe bahala na si batman.. magkKC ako.. binigay ko na lang ang num ko kay badik, at nag-iipon ng pag-asa na i-uupdate nya ako sa mangyayari next sunday.. at umaasang hindi ko matatapon sa dagat ang cellphone ko sa mababasa kong "update".. (n_n)

buti na lang, Lord ko si Lord... kung hinde...

ewan ko na lang..

hwaah!!! KC na!

2006-04-01T05:01:00.000Z

The stars didn't show up to lit up the cloudy sky. The humid air was also less friendly - its density hindering the sweat in our bodies to evaporate, thus preventing our natural thermoregulator to dissipate heat to the environment and cool ourselves (HK 114!! hweheh.. o_0). I was already considering riding a Katipunan Jeepney to some damn airconditioned restaurant just to get away from the unnaturally, tropically-humid, sweaty night (it was already 7pm when we got out - nights aren't supposed to be hot..). I remember that it was hot and un-windy that whole tuesday, and the heat outlasting the sun almost became intolerable for me. It also felt as if a crowd of invisible, sweaty people were always walking, sitting, eating, sleeping with you, causing the humid environment. Nevertheless, after charm arrived at the boarding house by i think was already about 7:10pm, thanks to manong taxi driver, we walked to the Sunken Garden for our 3 weeks late final CG meeting. I 'learned' something new, by the way - that 80% of the population of the Philippines work in Makati (n_n) and twas the reason why charm came late (so its either those working outside makati are just part of the 20% of the population, or what they're doing is not 'work' at all (0_o) ). After finding a nice not-so-grassy and not-so-dusty part, almost near the middle of the sunken, we settled and i started our CG with a prayer - our last prayer together, as soon, we weren't able to end in prayer because we were reminded of the 10 o'clock UP curfew and were forced to move to jollibee philcoa. We started with giving gifts, and i admit that i feel guilty because i didn't find time (and money..) to buy each one a special, more personal, more "waah-its-so-nice-of-you..", gift - i just gave out some hand-made "awards." It wasn't something of real worth, and i dnt know if it was just me, or guys aren't really into gift-giving..? =S I tried to integrate my affirmations with the rewards but im afraid i thought so much about it the previous night and thus, i wasn't able to put them into words.. (sorri, was it just me, or guys also have "limited vocabularies"..?). Anyways, though humid and we were sweaty and hungry and kezia leaving early, we still managed to go through the gift giving, affrimations, sorry-stuffs - and the rest of the story are mostly CG stuffs and are not for posting in this blog.. =)Mysteriously sounding creatures of the night also appeared from time to time (i think there were two or three of them) frightening us at some point with their creepy voices matched with the thousand shadows in the midst of sunken garden.
10 o'clock then came and the four of us (kezia left early because i think she wasn't permitted to stay long.. =S ) rode a philcoa bound jeep at vinzon's hall to jollibee. I was almost penniless but i still managed to buy a carbohydrate-rich palabok and buy each one of them a shrinked pizzamelt (jobee's pies get smaller everyday..the ones we ate dint even touch my tongue).. We finished eating by 10:45 and preparing to leave, we saw how amazing and wonderful God really is - - it was raining, and we weren't wet thanks to manong curfew and jobee.. the thought was just incomprehensible, but i believe it was just how God shows how he loves His children. (n_n) hwaaah.. mamimiss ko CG!!!
==============================================

03/29/06 wednesday, 1:48 pm

nilapat ko na sa huling pagkakataon ang aking ballpen sa answer sheet.. matapos ang ilang paninigurado sa aking mga naisulat na sagot at mapaniwala ang aking sarili na wala na akong maisusulat pa, sinimulan ko nang tumayo upang ipasa ang papel.. paglabas sa airconditioned room, binati ako ng init ng panahon, ngunit sa wakas - natapos na din ang aking sem!!
pero kahapon lang (03/31/06) sumagi sa isip ko kung ano naman ang gagawin ko next week?? hindi ako tulad ng ibang estudyante ng UP na nagkakandarapa na upang magpre-enlist ng mga subject sa summer, o naghahanap ng summer job, o kung ano man.. walang plano sa isip ko na gagawin ko - magpunta lang sa church at magdrums buong linggo.. aalis na kami para sa Kawayan Camp sa susunod na sabado, hindi ko pa rin natatapos yung required book review.. hindi pa din dumidikit sa isipan ko na magk-KC nga ako.. ayaw ko pang maniwala na aalis ako papuntang Bacolod, isang lugar na hindi ko pa nalalapatan ng paa.. at ayaw ko pang maniwala na isang buwan na hindi ko makakasama ang aking pamilya o churchmates o mga malalapit na kaibigan doon, at ang mga kasama ko lang ay mga panibagong mukha.. ayaw ko pa ding maniwala na hindi ko gustong magpunta doon, sa kaloob-looban ng aking sarili, para lang magsaya, magbakasyon, mahiwalay sa maynila, o anuman - ginusto kong magpunta doon dahil naniwala ako minsan, ilang linggo ang nakalipas, na tinawag ako ng Diyos para sa isang gawain na hindi ko pa alam, o ayaw ko pa ding alamin.. lahat naman ng Kristiyano ay may responsibilidad at hindi mas-espesyal ang sa akin, pero naramdaman ko lang na kakailanganin kong magKC upang maging mas epektibo.. wala na akong maisulat.. hindi ko pa alam.. ayaw ko pa dati.. may latak pa ng pagka-ayaw hanggang ngayon.. sa totoo lang, hindi ako excited sa isang buwan ng KC - excited na ako na matapos na ang KC at bumalik sa totoong mundo, sa aking pamilya, simbahan, eskwelahan, mga kaibigan, at malaman ang dapat ko ngang gawin.. isang maliit na parte lang ang isang buwan ng "training" kumpara sa isang buhay na dedicated sa Diyos.. gusto ko nang matapos ang KC.. excited na ako..

2006-03-22T07:32:00.000Z

Your Dominant Thinking Style:

Visioning
You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights.You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details.
An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path.You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum.

Your Secondary Thinking Style:

Exploring
You thrive on the unknown and unpredictable. Novelty is your middle name.You are a challenger. You tend to challenge common assumptions and beliefs.
An expert inventor and problem solver, you approach everything from new angles.You show people how to question their models of the world.

What's" Your Thinking Style?

Your Hidden Talent

You're super sensitive and easily able to understand situations.You tend to solve complex problems in a flash, without needing a lot of facts.Decision making is easy for you. You have killer intuition.The right path is always clear, and you're a bit of a visionary.

What's" Your Hidden Talent?

You Are 70% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

2006-03-19T01:39:00.000Z

Word for the day (or night) - - NyekLats..!!! (o_0)

Currently (11:14pm) getting close to insanity(already have 4 pages)..
2 pages.. 3 pages.. 4 pages.. 5 pages.. argh..
i just realized that writing something about an observation 3 months ago in one night is quite agonizing... NyekLats!i finished at 11:54, with six pages of 1,818 words... and what a mess i made to my brain after i dug it all out to search for long-gone memories...

Just got (about 2pm til 6pm) in love with..
she caught my eye as i passed by her window. a sudden stop to my hasty feet - and there she was.. as if she was staring back at me.. all captivating beauty.. her skin looked so smooth, its color much alive.. her face was white, elegantly poised above her neck..
she looked so tender - tender but strong.. she looked so fair - fair but fiery.. she looked so charming - and it was as if a violent mysterious breeze of passion continously blew between her and me..
i stood motionless for what seemed like forever and a half day.. after another blink, the chaos that the people around us made pulled me back to my senses... then i walked away.. i only realized after a few strides that the people around us wasn't the enemy.. time was our undefeatable foe.. NyekLats!!

yah.. she just caught me and i got speechless.. but then i just walked away.. not because im shy-shy.. (pero pwede din >_< ) it wasnt time yet for us to be.. cos i dint have enough money when i saw her.. o_0 NyekLats! gulay, was she damn pretty!! with her thin-bloody-red body (it would be a darker color if it was a thick-bloody red) and her snow-white nylon tip.. uyeah! just the perfect stick for me.. i just fell in love.. and i bought her today! hwaha! o_0 and used her immediately (or pwede ding "bininyagan" sa pilo) for band rehearsal!!! arrgghh!! my first pair of sticks that i fell in love with... owel.. i said once that its not in the sticks - the sticks doesn't matter.. but who cares anyways.. she's the prettiest pair i ever had.. NyekLats...

>> btw: i named her "Vladi" (hehe, panlalaki ba?).. lam mo na.. Vladi, as in Vladi-red.. hwahahah! (o_0)

Status (8am til 2pm?): unknown...
i still cant believe it.. walking towards the jeepney 'station' (with all the annoyances because its in front of a market..) i still cant comprehend what was happening.. sitting comfy inside an air-conditioned bus, my head still cant grasp hte complex thought... so i just, as always, let God's plan work out, diving into the waves again and letting myself be carried away according to His will..
i just got there.. not myself.. i dunno.. i dint greet the person who opened the gate for me (suplado..) - i came back to thinking hard about it and trying to understand... nyeklats..
i washed my face first before entering the room. i was almost late.. only a few more delegates came in before we started.. Ron was there (sawa na.. hehe..), plus benjie, and Jezreel (i remember that he was my lc-dc 2k4mate,i dint ask if he knew..).. still thinking why, how, why, how..
i just answered the get-to-know-me,get-to-know-you quiestions as sane as i can.. then jo came, i saw her looking at me, all smiles, pointing her thumbs up, implying in human-hand-lingo that something was ok - it was the P1600 'surprise' ship fare.. WHA?! so it was true.. i got it, my brain grasped that indeed, i will be able to step into that Humayon campsite, but still not sure if i can step out, if i have to, if, how, why.. then the staff and counselors introduced themselves, then some late-comers (from UPLB and PNU..??) then the interview....

whole story was.. KC was not included in my plans.. i rejected the thought of KC lingering in my head.. i ignore voices that bring it up.. i encouraged one churchmate (hehe) to join it, instead of me - and il be more than willing to help him get to that KC.. i formulated every excuse that i can make why i should not (or cant.. or will not.. or..) go to KC... i also rejected one by one.. and sometimes rejected them all - - those opportunities esp in leadership, where i can be used more for His glory..

but.. but.. but.. i forgot that i got ala-Isaiah one december night (actually, i also forgot when.. i think it was a month or two earlier..) .. and prayed "here i am Lord, use me..!!!!!" (waah.. weird. psycho. it came from deep inside of me, but i did not like the reality...) and my big God did answer.. it was confusing.. i made every effort not to hear his whisper-SSsss.. but once he whispers to you...nyeklats..

and then there i was, sitting, shivering (hehe,cos i was wearing shorts, plus shirt naman syempre.. summertime dud!), facing this staff, this ate chiri, who, at times said "ay, pareho tayo.. ako din dati ganyan.. tapos ganito.." and "wala namang leader na hindi naging reluctant eh" (eh pano po si Daniel..? haha, yeah, i was stupid enough to ask it.. o_0 just got curious! chaos was already happening in my mind, and it just popped out so suddenly out of my mouth..) "eh ibang context yun.." and etc.. nyeklats..and God used her.. showed the blessings behind his whisper-SSsss.. the blessings that i covered with fear, with doubt, with reluctance, with mediocrity, with..
it is confusing.. until now..

i cant believe.. i now rejoice.. i cant comprehend.. i now praise His work.. i cant grasp.. but i now thank God for esbi, my churchmates, my tatay, my nanay, my jeepney driver, my bus seatmate.. that interview, and ate chiri (waaah!!!! saya ko po kahit nakalimutan ko hiramin yung Basic Christianity... hehe =) )...

then excitement..

i am weak... am full of doubt, of fears, of uncontrollable passions, of stubborn drives, of pride, of suppressed rage, of frustrations, of, of.. of the worst something that you can think of.... - i am the worst - and i feel that they are stuck right in front of my face.. and i always try to hide it with the biggest smile that i can make..

i am incapable.. i am insufficient as myself.. i am worthless...... and i write the most incoherent papers and articles and blogs...

but my big God loves me anyhow.... only in Him, can i be a somebody..
and i want to be the best somebody that i can for Him..

KC na!

2006-03-15T00:53:00.000Z

isang summary ng mga pangyayari sa aking buhay sa nagdaang mga buwan: (woah, havent bloggd for months..! =S) i just emitted the boring stuff..

so i hope u wont find these ones boring.. >_<

01/07/2006 - joined the Flute Ensemble, syempre, started by the Jengers.. i re-learned how to play the flute! hopefully, we'll present on the
4th sunday of march.

01/28/2006 - attended the MMFG festival Counselor's Briefing at the Day by Day Christian Ministries, CCP Complex, with my super sister, tracy. As usual, we had some unusual adventures on the way. I assumed that I know how to get there, but I don’t… - so bahala na si batman. I knew about the LRT thing and where CCP is, but i picked the wrong “orange shuttle” so we got lost for some 30 minutes before we arrived at CCP. Oh well…
It was also a new Christian experience at the Counselor Briefing – Christians from every place in the Philippines gathered for the MMFG festival, though tired, it was still an encouraging sight – and amazingly, these same Christians too fought selfishly and barbarically for their Counselor Badges, as if the Volunteer workers who were giving away the badges were actually having an Ukay-ukay sale.. kamote.. im not gender biased, but the gents were the first ones to discipline themselves and form a nice, straight, orderly, and un-shocking line. I didn’t let tracy join the chaos so I was the one who got the badge for her... and yeah, believe me, it was really hell-on-earth at the “ladies’” ukay-line… it took me some while to realize that they were there also to be Counselors at the MMFG… oh well… thankfully for them, I did not let my football instincts (lam mo na, yung pang-uumbag, paniniko, etc…) win over me, so I just stood there until I got pushed to the counter and got tracy’s badge. Ayus!!!

02/01/2006 – haha! The Counselor Rehearsal for the MMFG came – and guess what,.. I’m a counselor! (o_0) anyways, the catch is that I did not attend the rehearsal but joined the 4,000 voice choir with some of my churchmates. I think im choir member number 2,957… im not sure.. >_< TRIVIA: it was the 2nd time that i sang in front of (and/or with) many people..

02/02 to 05/2006 – MMFG festival… I still went as a choir member, but I joined the counselors during altar calls… however, I chose not to blog my experiences here for courtesy to those involved in it =) … pa-kwento mo na lang sa akin if u want…

02/12/2006 – I taught the Eagles (the bigger and older Jewels – CBC’s outreach to Lapu-lapu’s street kids…) as a Big Brother… and I learned a lot when I taught them…

02/14/2006 – banquet night ng esbi! At isa ako sa mga akilang organizers…. Nakakapagod… (yun lang maalala ko eh…)

02/15/2006 – Gents night! (or gents madaling-araw…) and though I got exhausted the previous banquet night, it was such a wonderful experience that God still kept me wide awake and sustained us physically and spiritually for the gents night…

02/24/2006 – I was excited enough to wake up early for my Soccer class in front of NEC (we’re supposed to have street soccer…). I got to school in time and ayus! Classes were suspended… kamote…

03/03/2006 - i broke my 2am record -- 4am na ako nakauwi!!.. at first time ko masaraduhan ng pinto.. may gulay.. >_<>Cringer ni Kuya Iking.. nakarating naman kami ng matiwasay sa Intramuros at natapos ang program, pero nung pauwi na kami, hindi ko sigurado kung isa ba samin ay sadyang malas o nagkataon lang na nagtampo si Cringer. Ayun, tumirik kami (actually, yung van lang ang tumirik.. hwehehe..), thankfully, hindi sa gitna ng highway.. matapos ang ilang sandali ng pagtutulak kay Cringer, at paghihintay, may dumating na napakabait na mga tower manongs at dinala kami sa kanilang Impounding Area, guess where... sa Smokey Mountain.. and the place is still haunted by garbage - basura ang pamamalakad nila manong.. kaya nagstay kami dun til 3am dahil ayaw na talaga ma-resuscitate ni Cringer after kuya Iking's attempts.. iniwan lang kami (ako, plus 4 na makukulit (hwehehe, sorri.. blog ko to, wla kayo magagawa!!!) na esbi) ng ilang sandali para bumili ng fud at magpalamig.. katuwang adventure, at napakadami naming napag-usapan tungkol sa buhay, tulad ng kili-kili, roll-ons at armpit hairs.. matapos angilang sandaling iyon, dumating ang super hero ng mga sasakyang nato-tow (pero pang members lang..) - ang AAP.. ayus.. napaka-dramatic ng
pagdating, plus yung ilaw sa roof nung vehicle na pangTow nila(? di ko napansin kung ano yung vehicle, bangag mode na nun eh..) ohwell.. God made us aware of our other surroundings, matapos ang gimik from QC to manila.. and His faith, sa gitna ng mga awareness na iyon, sa gitna ng Smokey Mountain... 3am na nga kami nakalabas ng Smokey Mountain,

TRIVIA: pers taym ko pala makapunta sa loob nun, dati, napapadaan lang ako dati doon at namamangha na pwede palang magkaroon ng bundok ng basura - namamangha sa bundok ng basura na may taong nakatira...

03/12/2006 – our CG (woah, its nameless until now..???) went to Genoi’s house to visit him!!! And hehe, we brought some “relief goods” with us…
Yey! (>_<’) It was so amazing that in spite of all the difficulties that life forcefully offers, we still saw how God works through each one of us… we almost did not have any place to stay in at their compound but thankfully, one of his lola’s offered her small sala and the five of us (absent yung mga pascua… =S ) gathered and felt God’s presence in our fellowship…

hmm... yun lang muna... God is still molding me everyday, cant blog about them palagi dahil sa kawalan ng sapat na oras...

still, cant stop drumming...

2006-03-13T16:00:00.000Z

caffeine overdose....

here am i, staring again at one of my bestfriends, compy the computer..(haha, actually, i thought of that stupid name just now, wlang magawa eh... >_<) im not even supposed to be bloggin this moment - i have an exam on physiology tomorrow! argh... just soundtrippin actually.. it just happened that i got on, then decided to blog..

owel... next taym na lang.. im really plannin to blog about everythin.. pero alang time eh./.

2006-02-22T23:03:00.000Z

na-miss kita!!! miss mo din ba ako???

wahaha! (O_o)

so glad to be back..!
m planning to get this blog a new look..
pero naghahanap pa din ako ng butas sa aking mapagpanggap na busy sked... >_<
owel.. bahala na si batman..

magandang araw!

2005-12-20T07:02:00.000Z

waah.. havent blogged for years! niwey, since magpapasko na..
my christmas wishlist, from the 'most wanted' to the least...
even tho its not really what christmas is about.. wla lang..

a cymbal set
a pair of congos
a saxophone
a violin
a Gretsch drumset
a digi cam
an mp3 player
a Dave Matthew's Band album (yung original! wehe)
a panflute (mura lang yun!)
a pair of brush sticks
a pair of woodtip drumsticks
any bossa nova cd (basta astig yung artist..)
a cello
a harmonica

(some items in the 'least wanted' part doesn't necessarily mean that i dont need or want it but i can get it on my own..basta yung mura lang.. hwehehe..)

kulang pa yan.. pero i'll be your slave if you get me all of this.. hwehehehe!!!

but i already have the greatest gift i could ever receive.. eternal life through Christ.. =)

2005-11-21T02:11:00.000Z

the "week and a day" turned out to be a month... (o_O) havent blogged in years.. maybe because im at LC-DC for a week? because i was out of internet acct? because im too busy? because school started again?? because professors already gave us a bunch of papers?? =S

maybe i dont have anything good to blog about...
well, cant happen... "good" cant be foreign to me even for a moment because i have a God who is.. >_<

anyways, why am i bloggin now?????
because we (CHK students) dont have regular class this week!!! woooohoooo!!!! sorry na lang sa mga taga-ibang kolehiyo dyan...

hehe... thanks to the Sea Games congress... our college will be the one organizing the event so we wont have professors this whole week.. but we're required to write some papers about the seminars we can attend.. wont be hard..
====================================
verse for this blog....

Lamentations 3:22-23
"It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness..." KJV

"Because of the Lord's great love that we are not consumed, that we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness..." NIV

-- it is good tho wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord!!!

((im not possessed by my writing spirits yet so i cant expound on this verse for now... =) ))

2005-10-22T05:20:00.000Z

today i leave for antipolo.. again...

see you in a week and a day!

2005-10-21T10:13:00.000Z

a thousand moments passed since these fingers were driven to type... a thousand stories to tell..

ISCF gents weekend
i didnt know what to expect and what i really am supposed to do.. all i knew was that i am supposed to be a 'counsilor' to some 15 students, act as a 'kuya', be nice, follow some staff orders(slave-like.. haha!) and nothing more. we werent told what our jobs really are, what we are going to teach, etc.. the theme "Rising up to be men of faith" just gave somewhat a 'hint' taht i should be a Man of faith, as a counsilor.. and make those students 'rise up to be men of faith' too..

but i think i was lucky enough to know where the camp will be.. because my co-counsilors didnt even know where we will spend the weekend..! hehe.. but i think they were wise enough to bring their clothes and toothbrush with them.. >_<
honestly, i thought i really wasnt really prepared to be a counsilor for the weekend and i didnt have enough time to fix myself from all my mess.. thursday morning - my cough worsened (because of a complicated but a very funny story.. hehehe.. but i still have coughs til now) and before i even got up my bed, i was thinking like crazy of different excuses i can say to kuya mark if ever i dont make it on friday.. and from two sundays before that, i was worrying a lot about our LC-DC because we were raising our camp fee and til that time, we only have P600 in our pockets - we needed P16000.

FRIDAY 14 Inspite of those turbulence in my head, i still managed to arrive early at the IV bldg by 2pm - we waited for the students at SM north by 6pm, we (counsilors) scrambled our way at sm to look for and buy the materials we need - and left for the campsite by 8pm against the planned 6:30pm ('Filipino Time' as you might think, but il try to write about it in another article if i find the time..)
Traffic wasn't really bad and we thought that everything was going smoothly after all the chaos.. the dark sky begins to dress itself with its stars and the wind slowly changes from urbanly warm to forestly cool in little time.. we chatted for some time during the travel, to ease the silence - i still didnt know some of them students..
we were almost at the campsite by 10pm.. well, Almost.. we had a stop because vehicles arent allowed to go in the Pacific after 5pm.. all of us felt the agony of waiting.. but finally, at about 11pm, we arrived at the campsite - in a God-crafted mountain, with trees and everything that will make you give a sigh of relief - everything looked and felt different, and twas like we travelled to a different world.. the air was cold but it tasted different compared to the smoke-infested city air and inhaling as much of it until you feel that your lungs will explode will not be as bad.. we saw the dorm, and all of us felt like just throwing all our things then diving off to bed - but there is much more to do - like what happens in stories, when you travel to a different world, time doesnt matter much..
our supposed schedule was badly delayed but time didnt matter.. after a while, we were at the 'church' at the top of a hill (or it looked like a hill because it is higher.. we are on a mountain anyways..)
(by the way, this is a Gents weekend story so i wont get much into detail, and this post is getting longer anyways..)
almost everyone including me was sleepy, but i still managed to hear (and understand..) some of kuya jeff's message.. and i remember hearing one of my favorite verses :

"Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king. 'O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But, even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." Daniel 3:16-18

that was a wonderful verse, but hearing it again in a beautiful place makes it more wonderful..
i had my sleep at about 3am, after doing some counsilor things.. and it was good that there are no beds - only foams, available, and sleeping on the floor makes you sleep with ease. But it will also make you wake up early - i woke up at 6:30am..
when sunday came, i had to leave early for the 'BOT meeting' at church.. so they said goodbye to me (i didnt.. hwehehe.. >_< ) by the way, everything went well anyways, but as i said.. theyre 'gents weekend' thingys.. ;b
======================================================

next story..
i walked down the 3km steep mountain road (and i really walked 'down') and after 45minutes of walking, being lost, being barked at by dogs and even stared by some mountain dudes, i finally reached the gate, bade the mountain goodbye, then headed for the big city..
i didnt think about the things i was supposed to do and 'worry about' during the weekend but it all entered my head again. i had a coffee break at Mc Donalds, SM north before riding a bus to church. And there it was, an overwhelming view.. some of our LC-DC sponsors are present and actually attended CBC that sunday.. i didnt expect them.. i didnt expect very much on what God can do.. i was so happy deep inside, even tho i knew that we still need more bucks.. then after sunday school, thanks to honey ;b, bucks did came, sometimes in small amounts, and sometimes in a munchkin bunch.. and after little time, we had abt P13k in our pockets! (sadly, 2 campers cannot join so we only needed 12k)
and then God strike me hard.. like a bears fist on my head, i thanked him, but after all this time, i didnt put all of my hope in his power, i didnt expect that wed collect enough, i even thought of making other campers back out so we will need less bucks.. i realized, i wasnt much like a man of faith.. and i thank God.. for the bucks, and for the change in me.

==========================================================

thats it for now.. tomorrow the LC-DC!! i wont be able to touch this site for, maybe a week and a day.. by the way.. i have a new phone!!! muhahahaha!!

2005-10-17T23:20:00.000Z

yes.. sembreak na nga.. but my eyes still grow weary and feel all drained when the sky becomes dark.. dunno why.. but i think i read more books and read more during sembreaks, summer breaks and christmas breaks compared to reading during school days..

the heck..! ewan ko ba..

2005-09-29T00:03:00.000Z

i missed the feeling... haven't had it since.. last sem..? since my dark ages.. since i last woke up late and the day didnt start good.. since the time i liked listening to slipknot and other grungy, heavy music.. since u were going away.. since u were gone..

and now its coming back.. inch by inch.. crawling its way back..

argh...

waah...

2005-09-25T20:34:00.001Z

waah.. its my lolo's bday today.. at hindi ako pumunta sa handa nya.. because i hve to study for this cursed Hk-93 (first aid) exam.. argh.. frustrating.. nakakainis..

haha!! and yeah.. m not supposed to be bloggin or be online, etc.. hehehe...

jst taking a short break... ;b

words cannot express....

2005-09-15T23:22:00.000Z

huwAw.. sobrang nakaka-amaze lang talaga ang plans, blessings, tests, ni God, at kung pano nya ito nireveal sa akin personally these past "few" days.. (nah, not quite the reason why i was blog-less for an era or so...)

basta.. astig lang si God.. sa maraming bagay na nangyari.. hirap pala ikwento pag marami na.. marami akong tinanong at kinulit sa kanya - at marami siyang sinabi sa akin.. maraming beses akong nakipagtalo sa kanya, lumayo at bumagsak - at maraming beses niyang ipinakita na makapangyarihan siya at ipinaalala na dapat nga pala akong magtiwala sa kanya..

basta.. ang galing.. ang saya maramdaman ng grace ni God..

wala lang.. -_-''

"my soul cries out to you, O Lord..
how i hunger for your love...
only you can satisfy,
only you can fill me up..
how i seek you, O Lord..
how i long for more of You..
i want to know you more..
i want to be bound by your grace..
indeed, only You Lord are worthy of praise..
so let me praise you with my lips,
let me praise you with my hands and feet.
glory be to the God of heaven and earth!
the author, creator, my king and friend.."
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

2005-09-11T23:54:00.000Z

haha!! panalo si pacquiao!! hehe..

.

2005-08-28T03:05:00.000Z

astig!!! hindi lang ang mga banda.. sobrang nakaka-bless ang fRee nung friday.. maraming umattend, nakakagulat - akala ko naliligaw ako ng napuntahan.. pero ang galing..

truly, God works in marvelous ways..

sobrang kakaiba compared to last gig.. marami pagkain (hindi ako naubusan! haha!), marami tao, mraming banda, at mas may time mkapag share ng gospel.. through gods grace, naging napakalaking oportunity nito to share.

pero, bakit kaya maraming tao kapag invited bands, nung kami tumugtog, konti lang?

===========================================================
salamat ng marami sa Clarion call, Meantime at Silver coin!!!

jengers youth gig 4!!

2005-08-26T19:00:00.000Z

2005-08-20T18:41:00.000Z

argh.. its my left hand.. frustrating really..

after months of practice and practice, it still cant keep up with my right hand.. its behind maybe 8 beats or more.. dunno.. i think its because my right got faster too, but my left didnt keep up.. as a result, i sometimes lose tempo with paradiddles & rudiments & all.. argh..

yes, i can say it improved..

but still..

i need more practice..

frustrating..

argh..

cant stop falling in love with you...

2005-08-19T00:09:00.000Z

Thank you lord for another week! human words cannot really express how i feel to be yours.. its just simply amazing..
- thank you lord for the sunny days, for the beautiful mornings.. day by day the heavens declare your glory
- thank you lord that we survive even through the hard days, with you by our side
- thank you lord for the exams, the ups and downs in acads, that i am able to see how wonderfully you work and learn how to trust more in you
- and thank you lord that i was able to see how you work in UPIS and ateneo this week.. that yes, you work in different ways in those campuses, and i saw their needs.. and i thank you because i know that you have plans for these campuses
- thank you lord for the friday holiday! for the rest im looking forward to, and for the extra time to do the things that i loved to do, but never had the chance to do it.. practice drumming at church, read (as i want to put it..) "non-academic" books, enjoy quality time with you (unpressured by time limits..), and even worship with crystal (how i miss her!) again..
- thank you lord that i can see how marvelously you work everyday..- and i just simply thank you again lord for your love for me..

your love is amazing..
can't really stop falling in love with you.. ================================================================
hehe.. tag ni adelle..

What are the things you enjoy doing when there's no one around you?
- hmm.. eat?? yea.. eating is more enjoyable when nobody's around! hahaha!kidding aside.. hmm, umiyak kay lord? di na kasi ako iyakin ngayon (now i hope i still am.. ) kasi mejo dyahe nga naman kung makitang umiyak ng mag-isa lalo na kung mga taong hindi maka-relate ang kasama mo diba.. dibadiba?
What lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level?
- exercise!! physical activity makes our body release endorphin hormones - the "feel good" hormones.. so u too should move ur lazy butt whenever ur stressed out!

wahaha.. "banjo" na ba talaga ang bagong nick ko?? ilang syllables yun? andami! compared to "bij".. isang utot lang na nickname..

2005-08-12T21:05:00.000Z

waah.. at last.. another week ends.. thank God, medyo masaya ang week na ito.. haha.. astig ang Charlie and the chocolate factory!! hehe... sarap manood, lalo na pag libre!! woohoo! kung hindi nyo pa napanood, basta ang mangyayari lang dun, mananalo sa contest ng first prize si charlie, ang prize ay yung factory, tapos ano... hehehe..

nwey.. didnt really had time to change my font.. and i didnt had the money to buy a new internet card.. so medyo natagalan mag-edit.. at di ko alam kung anong kulay ng font dapat.. waaah!! ayoko magpalit ng background!!!

================================================

wow.. God is really good.. he showed me this week how great and how marvelous his works are.. he proves it o'er and o'er..

- last wednesday, i was 'compelled' to buy a ticket to a play,.. i bought a ticket for a show in that same day.. so everything was out of plan.. i reserved a ticket for aug17 because all tickets were sold out or reserved already, but i got the money on tues night and thankfully, i brought it to school on wednesday,.. then kanina, 'donn' from the theatre txtd that the show on 17 was cancelled.. wow..
- i got to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!! yey!! twas good.. specially if its free.. hehehe.. salamat kuya mark!! hehe..
- i got a good grade on our unknown analysis last thursday..
- and everything else was good..

thank you lord..

i just pray that i will thank you still when the time comes that everything will not be good..

2005-08-07T06:12:00.000Z

grabe.. ansaya ng CTC seminar ng ISCF kahapon.. sobrang nakakabless kaya masaya.. ewan ko, basta ako nasayahan.. hehe.. kahit na sobrang binagyo kami sa pagpunta doon, kulang na lang ng sabon, nakaligo na kami sa ulan.. but thank god, we still arrivd in one piece.. sobrang daming natutunang bago, nakakainspire, nakakamotivate ulit, nakakabusog (masarap yung manok na dinner!).. i just pray that god will use me mightily in this ministry dahil sobrang gusto kong mag work para sa kanya through this and reach out to highschool studs.. basta.. astig ni god..

2005-08-03T01:54:00.000Z

I Could Be The One - Stacie Orrico

I could be the one
I could be the one

I wonder who,I've got to be
For You to wanna use me
I do not always have just the right words to say

But You've taught me simple things
That I'd love the chance to bring
To a world of people who just simply need You

Doesn't matter where I'm from
Where I am
How far I've come
Doesn't matter where I live
Or what I have
You want my life
Doesn't matter who I know
Or what I've done
You Take it all
You want me as I am

I could be the one
Someone You're looking for
I don't have much to give
Lord, I'm ready
And through You
I could be the one
Whatever You want me to do
I will hold on to
What You say can be done
I could be the one

It is amazing to see
That You'll chose people like me
Who get off track, fall, crashin' down to the ground
But that's when You pick me up
And show Your strength is enough
You can use a broken heart to heal a broken life

Doesn't matter where I'm from
Where I am
How far I've come
Doesn't matter where I live
Or what I have
You want my life
Doesn't matter who I know
Or what I've done
You Take it all
You want me as I am

I could be the one
Someone You're looking for
I don't have much to give
Lord, I'm ready
And through You
I could be the one
Whatever you want me to do
I will hold on to
What you say can be done
I could be the one
Someone You're looking for
I don't have much to give
Lord, I'm ready
And through You
I could be the one
Whatever you want me to do
I will hold on to
What you say can be done
I could be the one

You take the crazy things
You take the weakest things
You use the foolish things
To show Your glory
Lord take my broken heart
Take all of my mistakes
Please take all of me
I want to show how great You are
I could be the one
Someone You're looking for
I don't have much to give
Lord, I'm ready
And through You
I could be the one
Whatever you want me to do
I will hold on to
What you say can be done
I could be the one
If You say
=====================================

la lang, i like the lyrics.. tho i havnt heard the song yet...

2005-08-01T21:25:00.000Z

haha.. na-miss kong umuwi ng maaga.. hindi ako nag-training ngayon, sobrang sakit ng ulo ko, kulang talaga sa tulog - sana worth it lang ang mga pagpupuyat.... pag-uwi ko nga ng 6pm, nagising ako 730 na.. ang hirap kasi matulog sa iskul, dahil sa libreng kape.. naaantok ako pero hindi makatulog.. basta.. oo, natukso ulit ako mag kape, libre kasi eh..

mas masarap..

2005-07-31T18:07:00.000Z

haha.. i just wonder why im online..

when i have an 2 exams tomorrow.. and 2 homeworks to finish..

gulay..

yey..

2005-07-30T00:48:00.000Z

hay (*hinga*)...sa wakas ay natapos na naman ang isang masalimuot na linggo.. at sabado na!! (technically, oo, dahil 12:28 am registered sa pc clock..) haha! pero hindi pa panahon para magsaya, dahil may exam ako sa monday.. magkasunod na subject! argh.. argh.. basta, buti na lang, astig ang si God ko.. ika nga ng mga batang paslit, with Christ in my vessel i can smile at the storm.. la lang,. masaya kantahin.. too bad, di na ko uhugin gaya nila.. hehe..

gusto ko lang magblog ngayon.. ala lang.. para masaya.. at masulit ang matagal na pagkonek sa internet.. kamote.. na-jebs muna ako bago ako nakapag internet..

musta ako? sa ayaw mo o sa gusto, ikukwento ko.. hehe.. eto, boring pa rin ang buhay, dahil.... ....ayun. haha, korni.. niweys, kelangan ko mag-aral ngayong sabado at linggo, (at oo, hindi ako makakasama kay genoy sa meyrics!! argh!!) para maisakatuparan ang aking "vow" na at least, magkaroon ulit ng isang kaaya-ayang GWA sa sem.. so help me God.. ngunit bago ang exam sa aking suppoesedly 'fave' subj, may prakticals kami sa HK-93 (first aid) kay resusci anne, isang manikin para pagpraktisan ng CPR at AR.. haha... at pano ako magpapraktis para dun sa practicals????

ewan... basta... may resusci-anne ka ba? peram naman o...

at "magaling"(oo, sarcastic..) ang aming guro sa subject na yun, dahil parang hindi siya teacher.. nung previous practical exam sa AR, saka lang siya nagturo ng pointers pagkatapos ng exam.. pagkatapos naming magkalat at lahat, saka lang siya nagturo..!! KAMOTE, how on earth are we supposed to know what to do?! argh... oo, siya yung titser na tipong gusto mo na lang buhatin at ihagis palabas ng bintana.. swerte siya, masama pumatay ng tao... (haha! sorri!!!! =) )

============================
niweys, iwanan ang kawalang kabuluhan..
gusto ko lang ibahagi ang larawang ito na nakuha ko sa yahoo, sa mga forwarded messages.. gusto ko siyang ibahagi dahil ako sa sarili ko, maniwala ka man o hindi, ay 'may puso' sa mga tulad nila,kahit dito lang sa Pilipinas.. matagal ko nang inaasam na tulungan sila, at maipaalam sa kanila na mayroong pag-asa.. ngunit pano?? hindi ko naman kaya ng ako lang.. kanina nga sa iskul, isang pack ng graham crackers lang ang naibigay ko sa dalawang batang mag-babasura.. nakaka-frustrate.. lalo na kung alam mong sobrang maliit na bagay lang iyon, at hindi tatagal ang tinapay ng isang linggo, isang buwan, isang taon.. basta..

sana malaman ko ang reaksyon mo kapag nakita mo ang larawan,.. maaapektuhan ka kaya?
(senxa na, di ko na naedit yung pic..)
========================================

"The PHOTO in the mail is the "Pulitzer prize" winning photo taken in 1994 during the Sudan famine. The picture depicts a famine stricken child crawling towards a United Nations food camp, located a kilometer away.

> The vulture is waiting for the child to die so that it can eat it. This picture shocked the whole world. No one knows what happened to the child, including the photographer Kevin Carter who left the place as soon as the photograph was taken.

> Three months later he committed suicide due to depression."

====================================
sabi sa mail, "you don't have to worry,... be content of what you have... " ang message ng mga larawan (apat na depressing pictures sila actually..)

pero kulang ang mensaheng iyon...

di ba dapat iniisip din natin kung pano sila maiahon??? halimbawa na lang ba sila ng kahirapan? ng depresyon? ng kahinaan? ng ....

pano kung ikaw yung photographer???

( sana, kung totoo nga yung last part, wag mo naman gawin yun..! )

2005-07-28T05:36:00.000Z

i just love the morning breeze touching my cheeks..
and the fresh smell of coffee...
and scrambled eggs..

everything's Almost perfect..

and yet,.. i still have to go to school.

2005-07-27T13:00:00.000Z

hah... m not really yet inspired to blog a 'real thing'.. basta, maybe my head went blank again - cant even study for 30min straight!! argh.. dunno whats wrong..

dang..

2005-07-27T12:43:00.000Z

hey..

whoever you are..

wherever you are in this cruel world..

drop me a message at my *NEW* tagboard..!!

haha.. la lang..

-bij

2005-07-27T12:14:00.000Z

Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary
Pure and holy, tried and ture
With thanksgiving, I'll be a living
Sanctuary for You

It is you, Lord
Who came to save
The heart and soul
Of every man
It is you Lord
who knows my weakness
Who gives me strength,
With thine own hand.

Lord prepare me to be a sanctuary
Pure and Holy, tried and true
With thanksgiving I'll be a living
Sanctuary for you
Lead Me on Lord
From temptation
Purify me
From within
Fill my heart with
You holy spirit
Take away all my sin

Lord prepare me to ba sanctuary
Pure and holy, tried and ture
With thanksgiving, I'll be a living
Sanctuary for You

>>> la lang.. love this song.. version by luna halo..

2005-07-25T13:16:00.000Z

argh.. im sick..... =(

muscle fatigue

2005-07-22T18:00:00.000Z

argh... its been a long while since i last jogged.. but the 2.2 km academic oval didnt seem that long..

sarap..

pero kelangan ko pa rin ng masahista.....

anyone???

2005-07-17T20:47:00.000Z

hehe.. wla lang, i just felt "free" after yesterdays xam.. after a week of sleepless nights, after a week of head racking experience.. but i dont really have anything to blog.. dnt have anything interesting..

well, maybe something about drumming na lang..

something about drumming in this cursed "drumbeats" site at last...

>>

after only a few weeks (4 or 5? m not sure) of drum lessons with my drum master, he told me that all i have to do is to keep practicin' and keep drummin'... and he dnt have much left to teach me for the following sessions.. actually, last thursday, he just taught me a 6tet after the 5tuplet review, then made the talk.. dang!! dunno what to do...

i wish i had a drumset here with me at home..

i just wish i am drumming now.. i dont have to be bored.. i dont have to be online too much, and, what.. 'entertain' myself..? then i dont have to blog anymore... i dont have to update this site..

dang.. that was kind of frustrating.. i thought learning never ends.. i thought i could not learn a lot in a few meetings.. argh.. dunno what, really..

practice...

practice...

practice what??

RR LL R?
R L RR L R LL?
L R LL R?
R LL RR???

argh..

how??

argh..

ewan..

i need a drumset....?

Loose Bowel Movement II

2005-07-17T05:31:00.000Z

nagmamadali kang pumasok.. mala-late ka na..
pagkatapos na pagkatapos ng mabilis mong paglunok ng agahan, mabilis na ang paglakad mo papuntang sakayan.
siksikan sa bus, nakatayo ka, hindi pa bumababa ang nakain mo..
pagdating mo sa klase, dumating ang hindi inaasahan..

sumakit ang tiyan mo..

pero hindi ka makatayo at makaalis dahil importante ang klaseng yun..
suplada rin ang titser, at alam mong bawal ang makaistorbo..
matagal mong pinigil ang sakit, tiniis ang bawat kirot -
ngunit 30 minuto pa lang ang nakalipas sa klase, isang oras pa..

hirap na hirap ka na, pero hindi mo pinapahalata..
nakakahiyang mahulaan ng katabi mo ang pinagdaraanan mo..
crush mo pa naman siya, mahirap na..
tinago mo ang pamimilipit sa sakit.

isa pang 30 minuto ang lumipas.

hindi mo na talaga kaya.
guguho nga ang iyong mundo, ngunit kailangan mo nang gawin ang dapat..
tumayo ka sa iyong silya, lumabas ng kwarto..
diretso sa CR..

masarap ang pakiramdam - isang malaking kaginhawaan..
parang exam sa chem16..

2005-07-11T05:14:00.000Z

good morning!

its a pleasant monday morning..
still a plenty of things to do this week..

a whisper of prayer may be enough..
for me to gather strength from my Father..

and from His glorious riches above..
His love, He freely gives, i now receive..

2005-07-08T10:03:00.000Z

andaming nangyari this week....

pero wala pa rin... =(

2005-07-07T00:56:00.000Z

>> i signed up last week for the UP Powerlifting Team.. and i attended the app's orientation today...

i drank a good cup of coffee before i headed to school - but i think that was not really the reason why my heart beats faster and faster as i came closer to the UP Gym this afternoon. Signing was pretty easy last week as only a few students signed up to join but i didnt bother to find out who my co-applicants are or where they come from.. and i thought this second part of the application will not be as easier, especially when i didn't have a bit of a clue of what to expect, and what the org will expect of me. This will only be my second org in UP, (with Esbi) if i will be admitted - i decided to join so that i'll atleast have a course-related org during my mind-wrecking stay in UP.

The clocked ticked 4:30 and after a few hesitations while roaming around the gym, i finally proceeded to the weights room. I sat beside a girl - not knowing until later that she was one of my co-applicants.. there were only two of us, when some Powerlifting team members started to arrive one by one.. and still, i didnt know what will become of me. we waited a little longer for the 'others'(if there will be some..) to arrive.. while waiting, thoughts of my 19 unit sem, my chem exam next week, my HK141.2 thesis, my Psych 108 report the following week, my ISCF commitment, my band rehearsals, my busyness, my insanity - haunted my weary mind. Not a long while afterwards, two girls appeared and sat with us - then there were four of us.. i recognized one of them: she was one of my classmates in Biomechanics I, but i didnt really know her, so i didn't react much. Then as a miss approached us four, two or three more applicants appeared. The 'miss', by the way, was the present Powerlifting Team president.. and that was it! i mean, i didnt expect that the 'orientation' would be that simple.. she just told us about what the org expects of us, training schedules, blah blah.. nothing much at all.. and i was glad about it, except for the P20 penalty for training absences for applicants.. whew..

then another miss appeared in the scene - apparently, the vice president of the team while the 'applicant-friendly, welcoming' words came out of the presidents lips, i suddenly 'came to my senses'.. i was surrounded by long hairs - girls.. well, im not a sexist or anything, but i felt dominated.. it was the Powerlifting team anyways.. men are more built for the sport (physically, hormonally, etc..).. gulay.. i didnt realize it until the talk was about to end. gulay.. i was the only applicant guy pala.. wla lang..

2005-07-06T04:12:00.000Z

here i am again..
longing for you.
cause you are all that i need
and its your mercy that i breathe..

your love overwhelms me always,
even when i go astray
you welcome me with wide open arms.

oh forgive me when i dont look up to you
and do things my own way..
but my every weakness makes me realize how i really need you.
and you hold me back again and again..

all that i am, for all that you are..?
make me worthy of your love, Lord..

Lord, i want to know you more.
i want to be deeper in love with you.
to stay in your merciful arms,
and follow your loving whispers.

i cannot really give you back anything..
for everything that i have are from you.

make me, and mold me..
use me -- i want to lift up your name always..

in my life, oh Lord, be glorified i pray..
you alone are worthy of our praise.

Drummers Prayer

2005-07-01T06:45:00.000Z

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I pray thee, oh God of the misty sky
Just simple things in the average eye.
That you give me the power, as long as I can,
To keep drumming through life with foot and with hand.

I pray thee, oh God, just a humble space
At the back of the stage behind guitar and bass.
I care not as long as I'm playing a beat
And the music's in time with my hands and my feet.

I pray thee, oh God, that my throne be not jewel
But a simple black, leather, padded stool.
For upon that I sit more proud than a king
My sticks suit me better then some crown and a ring.

And I pray thee, oh God, that I always stay wild
That I never grow weak, that I never grow mild.
That playing shall never a burden become
That my life is an oath of the cymbal and drum.

Let my sticks be my sword and my drums be my shield
Let the bright stage before me be the battlefield.
And, oh Lord, let me triumph as long as I stand
And let music strengthen my foot and my hand.
Whether it be on stage, or just in a shed

Oh God, let me drum on until I am dead....

- Asia "Doom Drums" Charity

Loose Bowel Movement

2005-06-29T19:27:00.000Z

2 hrs before my HK 141.2 (advanced weight training) subject, i ate a cone of dirty ice cream.. then i did 70 lbs x 15 repetitions x 4 sets of abdominal crunches.. then ate another cup or two of Choco-Peanut flavored ice cream.. then it came the day after..

argh ..is it because of the crunches, or i ate too much ice cream???

(",)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"kung kinakailangan, oo.. basta sama sama tayo.." was Ms. Susan Roces' response after she was asked if she is (i dont even want to type this..) 'prepared to be 'the next president.' After the filipino people saw a nearly unforgivable speech made by the President of poor Philippines, a speech made by the Panday's widow followed - she wants Gloria to step down.. and she spoke with 'authority' and somehow a convincing 'emotion' (if the boob-tube viewer will not be very critical) that made me realize: marunong din pala siyang umarte parang si...

"you have stolen the presidency!!! not once, but twice!!!" dang..!
"Apo ni Susan Roces, Malaking Impluwensiya sa Pananalita Niya" -TV patrol:: kawawang bata... =)

so what will happen next? another impeachment after Estrada's? the Philippines will leave its place as the top 3 most corrupt country in Asia and take the 1st place? Noli will be the president? Susan will be the president?! bagsak na naman ang Piso dahil sa kaguluhan.. prices will again go up.. resolution to poverty etc will be delayed even more..

i'll fly to another country after i graduate...

2005-06-27T21:08:00.000Z

maraming salamat po sa mga bumati ngayong araw na ito..

-sa mga nagtext ng madaling araw, at nagpaunahan para masabing sila naunang maggreet :: dibale, hindi ko naman nabasa, 10pm tulog na ko e.. hehe.. =) pero salamat pa rin> nagulat ako paggising sa mga "happi bday" akala ko wrongsend msgs... buti pinaalala nyo!!! SALAMAT!!

-sa mga bumati sa iskul... kahit may klase.. ayus lang... hehe..

-sa mga nagtext.. kahit di ko nareplayan lahat.. magastos eh, kaya dito na lang.. =)

-dun sa nagpadala ng P50 load!! ayus dude.. pero sana nagpakilala ka.. hehe.. salamat po!

ayun.. basta salamat na lang.. at pinaalala nyong bday ko pala, at ika ni honey, tumanda din ako sa wakas(?).. pero kyut pa rin naman.. hehehe! gud day!!

*3am kanina, magpopost na sana ako, kaso saktong na-dc ako dahil naubos yung net acct kaya ngayon na lang..

2005-06-25T02:50:00.000Z

Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan!

You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind!

What is your Icecream Flavour?
Find out at Go Quiz

2005-06-22T05:51:00.000Z

liban sa mga Airconditioned buses, nagtaas na ang pamasahe ng mga pampublikong sasakyan - nagtaas ng P2! malaking kalokohan... hindi makatao... (nagtaas ang langis dahil kay Bush! Mabuhay si Saddam!! hwehehe...)

nilalakad ko na lang mula sa amin hanggang sa sangandaan - kung saan sasakay ako ng jeep para makapunta sa MCU at makasakay ng bus. Hindi ko maubos maisip na otso pesos ang ibabayad sa isang maikling biyahe kaya nilalakad ko na lang - hindi naman ganun kalayo. Nakatipid na ako, nakapag-exercise pa...

2005-06-20T21:32:00.000Z

oohlala....

2005-06-16T00:19:00.000Z

caffeine has once again touched my restless lips..
and almost sleepless nights, i had spent lately - thinking of you...

thinking of you...

thesis ko!

2005-06-13T23:01:00.000Z

i felt maybe about 32 degrees C of the suns rays touching my skin. It was only 9am in the morning. Me and tatay doc went to the Pagamutang Bayan of Malabon. Blood was all over the place -- splattered on the floor, the pink walls, on some green sheets, on seats, on some medical instruments, on a man's forehead... then after 10 minutes or so, spurting out of my left ring finger. .

tatay doc: ano pakiramdam? (medyo sarcastic tone..)
me: mauubos na!

..hehe. mainit pala pakiramdam kapag tumatagos ang dugo ng mabilis kahit paunti unti lang - lalo na kung dalawang butas ang tinusok ng medtek sabay pisil ng mahigpit.. gulay..

we waited for the results for a few minutes.. I expected an O or an AB blood type - something extraordinary, but then she came back to the room and greeted us with "healthy oh.. A+ po anak nyo doc.."

argh.. quite normal..

medtek: medyo mataas yung lymphocytes nya... di naman siya mukhang maputla ah?

yep.. pero di lang ako nagkakakain for the past few days.. to lose weight.. haha..

then for another 10 minutes or so, we were informed that my RBC count is 186 g/L - and the normal count is 125 to 160 only... GULAY!! above normal??

so what does it mean??
am i going to be the next Superman or something??? hehehe...

REUBEN MORGAN concert at araneta!!! hwaaah!!

2005-06-12T01:22:00.000Z

this pic was taken during the workshop... not during the worship service -- because we were honest enough to go to our proper seats (even though during the worship, most Patron seats were unoccupied..) and yeah, we are obviously not singing in the pic.. hehehe..

twas fun..

then after the workshop and concert, we went to lord Hannah and Aeda's (and aira's..) house... pics to come..

(sunday night: napagalitan si tracy dahil di siya umuwi sa oras - 5 pm... 1 am ako nakadating sa bahay nung sabado..)

bakit masarap kumain????

2005-06-08T16:32:00.000Z

dang.... is it just me, or i am really getting fatter and fatter every day..? ?

well, "fatter" and "bigger" (or heavier..) are two different things, but the sad point is that - im gaining weight! argh.. despite my food deprivation attempts to maintain my 66.4 kg weight this past summer - dang! i gained 5 lbs of weight, maybe 2 or 3 weeks before the end of summer... at first i was happy because i kinda lost weight after swimming-babad hours but i just dunno... i think it started when i went to the gym one cursed day - and did one hard workout.. then when i got home,, i just started eating a lot, like my lips havent touched food for years! it started with a slice of pizza.. then another.. then... argh.. bakit masarap kumain?!?!?!

o well... at least classes got started already.. i just hope i'll lose weight in time before any competition starts.... have to eat this fried chicken for now.. =)

Singit lang...
(haha! i just realized.. mali nailagay kong date sa Form5 ko kanina!! hehe... nalito pala ako... date kasi is 06-08-05... nalagay ko ata 05-06-08... tapos dun sa isa 08-05-06... wahaha! jengers... ngayon alam ko nang hindi pala nila tsine-check talaga ang mga Form5! hehehe..)

2005-06-06T20:16:00.000Z

i saw this on TV Patrol ("world".. is this really included..?)

Kris Aquino at James Yap - engaged...

may gulay!!!

now what's happening to the world???