R-A-N-dom-T-hing-S.. (10/14/07)

- i headed straight to sleep the moment my body felt the warmth of our house and the soft pillows on my bed. im not really sure if i was just sleepy, but i felt so tired after the inter-school competition. Of course, the UP powerlifting team dominated the event, but i really havent done much in my weight class. i gained about 5 to 6 kilograms of body weight - 2 years ago, i was in the 60 to 67.5 kg weight division..and two-years is two years. after that sem (2nd sem,2k6), i didnt train regularly on the first sem of the following schoolyear, which was after my KC, and then i finally became inactive in the team on the 2nd sem. That was because i became so busy on so many things - acads, esbi, church youth, career (naks!) - and, the sport was not in my priority list. wonder why i joined the team? ask me. =) anyway, the last competition i joined before i became inactive was also the annual Inter-school competition. it was my second time to compete in the inter-school. My best record in squat was just at 110kg, my bench press was just 65kg, and my deadlift was 145kg. i competed in the 67.5kg division, with my weight resting safely at 65.8kg. There was just two of us who competed in that weight class, so i won second place (the first placer was also from UP powerlifting team). now, i gained about 5kg after two years of eating and not-training (i remember i did aim to gain weight..now i regret that decision i made to eat more than usual - and i seldom regret things..or i try not to regret anything. - and i also ate two slices of sbarro pizza the night before the competition..just great) - i had bad lifts both on my 2nd and 3rd attempts on the squat, making my record remain at my first attempt which was a mediocre 100kg. i also had a bad lift on my 2nd attempt in the deadlift, and the coach didnt let me reach my previous record, so i settled at 135kg on the deadlift. well, at least the bench press made my day..i thought i wont be able to make it, but thank God, i psyched myself enough and i stopped thinking of anything else when the chief referee made the command on my third attempt. the heaviest weight i lifted in my training on the benchpress was 2 reps of 70kg for 4 to 6 sets. i aimed to lift only 75kg - but the good thing was i had good lifts on all three attempts, with no red flags..i wished i could "transfer" at least one good lift to my deadlift or to my squat just so that i could try to break my previous attempt..but, maybe it was really because i didnt train well enough for the squat and the deadlift..i didnt train with the team for this sem because i had to go home early to give time for my acads and some other things - and on my "solo training" after my classes, i only do max attempts on the deadlift and the bench press - and i didnt give much focus on the deadlift too..futsal became my pseudo-plyometric training and assisted my squat (100kg is an easy rep now compared to my previous days)..however, it also became detrimental to my training because i had less time to focus on the 1RMs - and i cant choose not to "train" for futsal, because a PE class is not really included in a normal training program >_<>stop competing raw.

- i now have a new phone. its a Nokia 1600. im satisfied with a 2100 or my current 3315,maybe because i dont know how to use it, or this is not the time for me to learn something "new". hehe. thank you Lord for the blessings, great (the much surprising 80kg!! yehey!) or small (after about 20minutes of mind-wrecking thought, i finally found out how to turn my new phone on! haha)..i lost 2 phones for two consecutive years in my first 2 years in UP. i hope the curse is really gone.

- i finally made myself start studying/reviewing for NMAT. well, i havent really "reviewed" yet, i just tried answering the NMAT practice sets..i had 35/50 on both of the first two parts (verbal test and inductive reasoning), which was not really good if im targeting at least 90 on the actual NMAT, so please do pray for me.

- i wasnt able to attend our youth's joint fellowship with SOFT..which both has its pros and cons..the competition to some extent also served as a stress-release from acads and youth obligations for me..maybe because my "training" wasnt really that stressful..hehe

- i only have 1 week left before the LDMC camp (the pre-camp is on the 21st)..so help me, God..

- tinatamad na akong i-revise ang aking proposal paper =s (at tinamad na din ako mag-
english..>_< hehe).. wala na din naman kasing gaanong iibahin..madami lang talaga akong hindi na-discuss nung presentation..sayang

- i need new strength for this week and the next..i can really feel the fatigue rounding my body..somebody give me a massage..

- i still have to go to UP until thursday this week - meet with tambayan orgheads tomorrow (monday), exec mtg on tues, and mtg with the VSCA and mainlib admin on thursday..i also have to pass my final paper for my 199, work out my EnviSci subject, file my NMAT forms, buy a token for master (for his drumclinic two weeks ago..! wow..), and get kuyas transcript..then after LDMC, we're having a youth leaders retreat on nov.2 and 3, which leaves me less than a week for my "sembreak"..then i have to give time to study for NMAT..ouch.

- im tired..just thinking about what will happen on the next few days and weeks makes me tired..and i will get more tired..its good to know that amidst of everything that surrounds me for the moment, and inspite of my weakness (not just on the squat..hehe!), He does not change, and that He still holds the world..whatever may happen..good lift or bad lift.

Christmas Wishlist 2007

For those who care for me (naks andrama..).. here's my christmas wishlist - im posting this as early as now so you could have ample time to look for them in your local stores..and of course, save enough bucks to be able to buy it for me. thank you in advance! =b

1. a Starbucks coffee treat (every other day!..haha joke)
2. Recording Headphones (yung mukhang pang-piloto..i need it for solo practices, band rehearsals, etc..any brand/model will do. =)
3. Kjwan CD (any album)
4. Rhythm Tech RT 7902 Multiclamp or a Gibraltar multipurpose clamp with bar
5. Stanton Moores Take it to the street CD (a study in new orleans street beats and 2nd-line rhythms as applied to funk) or The Art of Playing with Brushes presented by Steve Smith and Adam Nussbaum instructional CD
6. Latin Percussion Stealth Jam Block or RhythmTech 3400 Moon Block
7. Gibraltar single-chain bass drum pedal (i really need to change my 2yr old drumpeds..)
8. LP Joey Castillo Drum Kit Pack (LP1207 Jam Block, LP160 Cyclops Tambourine, Gibraltar SC-AM1 Mounting Bracket)
9. 4 x 14" Gretsch custom snare (stanton moore)
10. Steve Gadd signature sticks (black)
11. Cymbal set..or at least one from the list below.. n_n (not in order):
10" Zildjian ZBT Splash cymbal
16" Zildjian Avedis Rock Crash
12" Zildjian A splash
18" Sabian HHX Ozone Crash cymbal
12" Sabian AAX Ozone splash cymbal
12. Latin Percussion LPA630 Aspire Tunable Djembe
13. Mitshubishi Eclipse GT 2008

DISCLAIMER: the wishlist above is for this coming christmas 2007 (salamat uli charm! you're a good friend! haha).

..simpleng tao lang naman ako. mabait. wish ko lang may matupad na kahit isa lang sa kanila sa darating na pasko. susulat na lang ako sa Wish ko Lang.

Psalm 34 (NIV)

..i only have one paper left to do, and then my sem would finally end. i will miss futsal.. and then i have to prepare for my last sem in UP. i will miss UP - to think that until now, there are still moments when being called a "UP student" still is surreal for me,like some dream which managed to escape the shadows that grips the night..

>> Excitement - that UP will be celebrating its one hundred years of existence, making the coming graduation a more special event to the whole UP community. It might be a mere coincidence - graduating while UP also celebrates its 100 years - but how can it not be so special when you have to wait for another hundred years just for this coincidence to happen again? somehow, a hundred years of existence is hard to comprehend..not because its difficult to count to a hundred, but because there is no one in this present world who have done counting by a number per year until he counts to a hundred..there are people who lived up to a hundred and had bonuses of a number of years (the longest i know is 115 years..?), but i dont think they had kept track of their count, if ever they had counted their years.

>> A heightened sense of things - i really like the way Leonidas' Spartan feelings were put into words when he was immersed into the wilderness in the movie 300 (ahoo! ahoo!). it somehow captures what i feel most of the time when something is going to happen. i feel that something big is going to happen, whether good or bad, and then i prepare my mind and soul for it.

i try not to be anxious. i try not to fear. being anxious is just like terrorizing yourself..like driving an 18-wheeler cargo truck up to 120kph in an edge of a cliff with the knowledge that your brakes doesnt work. anxiety is when you subject yourself to psychological and emotional (sometimes, it can even lead to physical..) stress that you yourself have elicited. its cause is internal. You fear things that are not around you, but comes from your own thoughts. You are anxious because you let yourself become anxious. You dont need a terrorist to make yourself worry and be anxious, you just need to fix your thoughts well enough into such a state - and quite many have already perfected the skill, that most of the time its automatic, and its hard to control once it has started. isnt it funny to think that when you become anxious, you worry for something that is still indefinite or have a 50:50 chance and can still turn out good, but you already are suffering psychological and emotional stress which leads to hormonal imbalances, fatigue, psychosomatic illnesses, and sometimescan even lead to heart problems (researches have already proven that stress is a risk factor to heart problems.), just because you have let yourself get worried? haha.

But on the other hand, there is some logic to being anxious or to worrying. You worry because you are aware that there are factors which you cannot control - that chaos happens. You become anxious because you know that whatever happens around your current environment or state will affect you or your plans. Also, as the number of uncontrollable variables in your environment increases, your tendency to worry and be anxious also increase. But to cut it short, worry or anxiety is a normal and a very natural response to the unpredictable behavior of your surroundings. However, the 'natural response' isnt always the best response..like porcupines (are they rodents??) who responds to touch by sticking out their protective but piercing skin outgrowths (are they hairs?? someone answer me.), even when they touch their own kind.
well, a logical problem can be solved by a logical solution. The simplest solution to anxiety is just accepting that you do not, and you cannot control the things around you. You just have to accept that however well-planned your schedule is, and how many plan B's and plan C's you may have, you still wont know what will happen tomorrow. You do not control the world. You cant even control the time. So what do we have to do? Do we have to stop planning? its an option, but its not the best.

Like little children who waits on their parents for almost everything, we just have to trust the one who controls almost everything..trusting is like giving up and surrendering all your 'rights' to worry about things that are outside of your control and your many predispositions and thoughts,whilst accepting the knowledge that it will turn out for the better - and even if it doesnt, you are still assured that He still controls the things that surround you, and you can trust Him again.

..so now, thrill and a heightened sense of things are in me. One last sem and then i will leave UP and enter another world..about a hundred and more days will have to pass one day at a time, all with their own varying number of uncontrollable variables, before i get to have a "glimpse" of my "future." Three more weeks before i start my last semester in UP..Twenty-one-plus more days to go, 24 hrs per day..what will happen? will everything turn out well? i just saw in CRS that i wasnt enlisted in Thesis class for next sem. i currently have a problem with one MST subject, Environmental Science 1, which i have taken four years ago, and i would have to add another unit if i dont settle the matter on time. i have to study for NMAT in less than two months. i am still not sure if i will pursue medicine. 220 people are going to LDMC, with the campsite having a capacity for only 200 people. The IVCF vehicle cant be used to transport materials to the campsite. i have this one paper left to do, which i havent started yet, and i need to read plenty of resources to support my points, and i have to finish it before thursday. CBC leadership council meeting will be held this coming thursday and friday, and i am entitled to come (or so i think..i miss u tagaytay!!). We havent had our Exec meeting for 2 weeks (i miss u exec!)..and plenty of other things. But i trust in the Lord. And there always comes a wonderful feeling when he proves to me that He is worthy of my trust, and that He holds the world, even me.

try it for yourself. taste and see that the Lord is good indeed.

I will love you still in the morning...

even if the pouring rain seems to have no end
and the stars hide their fiery sparks under the clouds.

the days may have been so lonely..
and you seem to be so far away.
yet, i will love you still.

i will love you still in the morning...

even when everything seems to fade to gray
and then darkness sets in.

the light from your promises defy the many shadows that surround me.
and i will remember them.
and so i cant stop from loving you still.

i will love you still in the morning...

even before the rising sun shows its first ray of light
or even before the birds sing to the coming of the day.

it is you - you alone who brings me joy..
just the thought of you - your extravagant love
your grace so amazing - it makes me love you still.

i will love you still in the morning...

even when my eyes fail to witness the sunrise
and my flesh becomes so frail.

illness might overcome my body..
but you are the strength of my soul
my heart and my soul hopes upon you - and i love you still.

i will love you still in the morning...

your love brings me joy...
your love brings me peace.

your love brings me more and more to you.
i cannot contain it.
and so with all my heart, i will love you still.

how can i not think of you, when everything i see speaks of you?
how can i forget you, when everything i own is from you?
and everything is all about you.

my heart will decay if i should refrain from your love, from your presence
if i should deny how much i need you
and that i should love you
and there is no reason that i should stop from loving you.

RAN-dom-T-hought-S

- yey! salamat Lord sa bagong rubbershoes. woohoo! salamat sa dalawa kong muse na sila blesscille at johanna lise. salamat sa pagsama paikot ikot sa esem para sa hanapin ang "The One" na shoes. gusto ko kasi ay all-terrain or cross-training na shoes, para bumagay sa mga kalikutan ko sa Kolehiyo ng Pantaong Kinetika. hehe. pero ang shoes na nabili namin ay running shoes. ok lang, naisip ko kasi na running shoes ang kalimitang ginagamit as "drumming shoes" (medyo mabigat nga lang yung adidas..pero nagra-rhyme naman - running/drumming..yehey!), at medyo konti na lang ang sport ko sa aking huling sem sa UP (pero iniisip kong mag extra PE ulit ng futsal.. =)

- blesscille, sayang talaga yung 3 games sa free shoot-out ng Toby's!!! pero malabo naman talaga yung free shoot-out na yun. ang mechanics kasi, every P1000 worth ng purchase ng ANY product nila, may libreng isang game. eh pano yun, RUNNING SHOES ang binili ko, hindi BASKETBALL SHOES..diba dapat FREE RUN ang meron ako, instead na FREE SHOOT-OUT??? tsktsk..duuuhh....

- mali talaga ang sistema ng sbarro. kelangan nila magdagdag ng cashier booth.

- hindi ko naiblog ang mga pangyayari nung nakaraang dalawang linggo. napaka-busy kasi. ang grim at agonizing din naman nung 2 weeks na yun. pero gusto ko pa din sila iblog. pero after na ng proposal ko sa tuesday.or, after manood ng resident evil 3. haha

-transformers ang huli kong napanood na sine sa sinehan.

- hindi ko pa din makalimutan yung pilit kong itinayp na draft ko na blog sa gitna ng kabusyhan- tuwang tuwa kasi ako sa natype ko - pero sa notepad ko lang tinayp, inupload, pero di sinave sa PC...ayun, naglaho na ang "draft" at hindi na muling maibabalik..

- hindi ko magawa ang mga kelangan kong dapat gawin. hindi ko pa kasi nauubos yung dinner ko na siomai with soup..unfinished business ang siomai. kelangan muna tapusin bago gumawa ng iba. kelangan ko pa din pala muna magtimpla ng kape bago ko gawin yung kelangan ko gawin.

- naha-hyper ako. baka dahil sa San Mig strong coffee??

- ewan ko ba kung ulyanin ako, hindi organized, or Hyper-Mode lang talaga..pero every now and then, lagi kong inaalala ang mga kelangan kong gawin sa mga susunod na tatlong araw..tatlong araw! usually, nagaalala lang ako ng ganun kapag 1 whole week ang jampacked...but no..3 days lang! argh..nakakafrustrate mafrustrate. (-_-). sana nababawasan ang mga kelangan gawin sa simpleng pagaalala sa kanila..kaso hindi.

- < may naisip akong next na itatype na para sa line na ito, pero dahil mahaba yung previous line, nalimutan ko na.. >

- ang primitive. isang buong mag-umaga akong nakaharap sa PC..nagreresearch para sa isang paper (10 'abstracts'..kelangan gumawa ng sariling mga abstracts ng mga research theses tungkol sa ergogenic aids and nutrition..ibig sabihin, kelangan din basahin yung 10 theses na yun.). naka-upload sa net yung notes ko para sa exam bukas sa isang subject..inencode ko yung notes from powerpoint to notepad. ready na ang paper, ink, microsoft word, at ako sa pagprint. tenen! walang ink! argh.. (>_<) virtually, i wasted about 3 hours of my time sa pag-encode..pero ok lang..primitive, dahil ngayon, isusulat ko na lang yung notes sa aking notebook ('notes' sa 'notebook'..makes sense..?)..at yun nga ang "kelangan kong gawin" ngayon, hindi magblog.

-inubos ko muna yung siomai with soup at nagtimpla ng kape bago ko gagawin tlaga ang kelangan ko gawin. pero mamaya ko na iupload to. well, at least, na-overcome ko ang urge to upload..at na-overcome ko din pala ang temptation na gamitin ang Liwayway gawgaw sa kape, ubos na pala kasi ang gatas, at pareho naman silang puti. - mukhang hindi na naman ako makaka-train bukas, kung mapupuyat ako ngayon. argh. walang kwentang cycle, di na nasunod kahit kelan.. =(

- hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa din ma-gets ang pagkakaiba ng LACTATE at LACTIC ACID, at kung ano ang relevance ng kanilang pagkakaiba. kung ikaw ay matiyagang nagbasa nito, at alam mo ang pagkakaiba nila..PLEASE, pakisabi sa akin bago ako grumadweyt. salamat. -eniwey, magsusulat na talaga ako.andami. =s get ready hand and finger flexor and extensor muscles!

- after ng isang page (2 columns, size 8 font, arial) ng "reverse encoding" (pagsulat ng notes from microsoft word..), pinasingit ko si mami sa paggamit ng PC. dapat inaral ko yung mga sinulat ko na, pero hindi..nagpraktis ako ng rudiments..nung napagod ang aking extrinsic forearm muscles, naalala kong hindi ko dapat ginawa yun dahil magsusulat pa ako...owel..- nung pinasingit ko si mami, nag-error etong notepad, at hindi pa ako nadala, dahil hindi ko sinave..ayun, nung ise-save ko na, hindi na maretrieve..magwawala na sana ako, buti na lang Hyper-windang-mode ako ngayon. pero syempre, salamat kay Lord at nabuksan ko ngayon. nyahahaha!!