cant stop drummin... Psalm 34 (NIV)
..i only have one paper left to do, and then my sem would finally end. i will miss futsal.. and then i have to prepare for my last sem in UP. i will miss UP - to think that until now, there are still moments when being called a "UP student" still is surreal for me,like some dream which managed to escape the shadows that grips the night..
>> Excitement - that UP will be celebrating its one hundred years of existence, making the coming graduation a more special event to the whole UP community. It might be a mere coincidence - graduating while UP also celebrates its 100 years - but how can it not be so special when you have to wait for another hundred years just for this coincidence to happen again? somehow, a hundred years of existence is hard to comprehend..not because its difficult to count to a hundred, but because there is no one in this present world who have done counting by a number per year until he counts to a hundred..there are people who lived up to a hundred and had bonuses of a number of years (the longest i know is 115 years..?), but i dont think they had kept track of their count, if ever they had counted their years.
>> A heightened sense of things - i really like the way Leonidas' Spartan feelings were put into words when he was immersed into the wilderness in the movie 300 (ahoo! ahoo!). it somehow captures what i feel most of the time when something is going to happen. i feel that something big is going to happen, whether good or bad, and then i prepare my mind and soul for it.
i try not to be anxious. i try not to fear. being anxious is just like terrorizing yourself..like driving an 18-wheeler cargo truck up to 120kph in an edge of a cliff with the knowledge that your brakes doesnt work. anxiety is when you subject yourself to psychological and emotional (sometimes, it can even lead to physical..) stress that you yourself have elicited. its cause is internal. You fear things that are not around you, but comes from your own thoughts. You are anxious because you let yourself become anxious. You dont need a terrorist to make yourself worry and be anxious, you just need to fix your thoughts well enough into such a state - and quite many have already perfected the skill, that most of the time its automatic, and its hard to control once it has started. isnt it funny to think that when you become anxious, you worry for something that is still indefinite or have a 50:50 chance and can still turn out good, but you already are suffering psychological and emotional stress which leads to hormonal imbalances, fatigue, psychosomatic illnesses, and sometimescan even lead to heart problems (researches have already proven that stress is a risk factor to heart problems.), just because you have let yourself get worried? haha.
But on the other hand, there is some logic to being anxious or to worrying. You worry because you are aware that there are factors which you cannot control - that chaos happens. You become anxious because you know that whatever happens around your current environment or state will affect you or your plans. Also, as the number of uncontrollable variables in your environment increases, your tendency to worry and be anxious also increase. But to cut it short, worry or anxiety is a normal and a very natural response to the unpredictable behavior of your surroundings. However, the 'natural response' isnt always the best response..like porcupines (are they rodents??) who responds to touch by sticking out their protective but piercing skin outgrowths (are they hairs?? someone answer me.), even when they touch their own kind.
well, a logical problem can be solved by a logical solution. The simplest solution to anxiety is just accepting that you do not, and you cannot control the things around you. You just have to accept that however well-planned your schedule is, and how many plan B's and plan C's you may have, you still wont know what will happen tomorrow. You do not control the world. You cant even control the time. So what do we have to do? Do we have to stop planning? its an option, but its not the best.
Like little children who waits on their parents for almost everything, we just have to trust the one who controls almost everything..trusting is like giving up and surrendering all your 'rights' to worry about things that are outside of your control and your many predispositions and thoughts,whilst accepting the knowledge that it will turn out for the better - and even if it doesnt, you are still assured that He still controls the things that surround you, and you can trust Him again.
..so now, thrill and a heightened sense of things are in me. One last sem and then i will leave UP and enter another world..about a hundred and more days will have to pass one day at a time, all with their own varying number of uncontrollable variables, before i get to have a "glimpse" of my "future." Three more weeks before i start my last semester in UP..Twenty-one-plus more days to go, 24 hrs per day..what will happen? will everything turn out well? i just saw in CRS that i wasnt enlisted in Thesis class for next sem. i currently have a problem with one MST subject, Environmental Science 1, which i have taken four years ago, and i would have to add another unit if i dont settle the matter on time. i have to study for NMAT in less than two months. i am still not sure if i will pursue medicine. 220 people are going to LDMC, with the campsite having a capacity for only 200 people. The IVCF vehicle cant be used to transport materials to the campsite. i have this one paper left to do, which i havent started yet, and i need to read plenty of resources to support my points, and i have to finish it before thursday. CBC leadership council meeting will be held this coming thursday and friday, and i am entitled to come (or so i think..i miss u tagaytay!!). We havent had our Exec meeting for 2 weeks (i miss u exec!)..and plenty of other things. But i trust in the Lord. And there always comes a wonderful feeling when he proves to me that He is worthy of my trust, and that He holds the world, even me.
try it for yourself. taste and see that the Lord is good indeed.
>> Excitement - that UP will be celebrating its one hundred years of existence, making the coming graduation a more special event to the whole UP community. It might be a mere coincidence - graduating while UP also celebrates its 100 years - but how can it not be so special when you have to wait for another hundred years just for this coincidence to happen again? somehow, a hundred years of existence is hard to comprehend..not because its difficult to count to a hundred, but because there is no one in this present world who have done counting by a number per year until he counts to a hundred..there are people who lived up to a hundred and had bonuses of a number of years (the longest i know is 115 years..?), but i dont think they had kept track of their count, if ever they had counted their years.
>> A heightened sense of things - i really like the way Leonidas' Spartan feelings were put into words when he was immersed into the wilderness in the movie 300 (ahoo! ahoo!). it somehow captures what i feel most of the time when something is going to happen. i feel that something big is going to happen, whether good or bad, and then i prepare my mind and soul for it.
i try not to be anxious. i try not to fear. being anxious is just like terrorizing yourself..like driving an 18-wheeler cargo truck up to 120kph in an edge of a cliff with the knowledge that your brakes doesnt work. anxiety is when you subject yourself to psychological and emotional (sometimes, it can even lead to physical..) stress that you yourself have elicited. its cause is internal. You fear things that are not around you, but comes from your own thoughts. You are anxious because you let yourself become anxious. You dont need a terrorist to make yourself worry and be anxious, you just need to fix your thoughts well enough into such a state - and quite many have already perfected the skill, that most of the time its automatic, and its hard to control once it has started. isnt it funny to think that when you become anxious, you worry for something that is still indefinite or have a 50:50 chance and can still turn out good, but you already are suffering psychological and emotional stress which leads to hormonal imbalances, fatigue, psychosomatic illnesses, and sometimescan even lead to heart problems (researches have already proven that stress is a risk factor to heart problems.), just because you have let yourself get worried? haha.
But on the other hand, there is some logic to being anxious or to worrying. You worry because you are aware that there are factors which you cannot control - that chaos happens. You become anxious because you know that whatever happens around your current environment or state will affect you or your plans. Also, as the number of uncontrollable variables in your environment increases, your tendency to worry and be anxious also increase. But to cut it short, worry or anxiety is a normal and a very natural response to the unpredictable behavior of your surroundings. However, the 'natural response' isnt always the best response..like porcupines (are they rodents??) who responds to touch by sticking out their protective but piercing skin outgrowths (are they hairs?? someone answer me.), even when they touch their own kind.
well, a logical problem can be solved by a logical solution. The simplest solution to anxiety is just accepting that you do not, and you cannot control the things around you. You just have to accept that however well-planned your schedule is, and how many plan B's and plan C's you may have, you still wont know what will happen tomorrow. You do not control the world. You cant even control the time. So what do we have to do? Do we have to stop planning? its an option, but its not the best.
Like little children who waits on their parents for almost everything, we just have to trust the one who controls almost everything..trusting is like giving up and surrendering all your 'rights' to worry about things that are outside of your control and your many predispositions and thoughts,whilst accepting the knowledge that it will turn out for the better - and even if it doesnt, you are still assured that He still controls the things that surround you, and you can trust Him again.
..so now, thrill and a heightened sense of things are in me. One last sem and then i will leave UP and enter another world..about a hundred and more days will have to pass one day at a time, all with their own varying number of uncontrollable variables, before i get to have a "glimpse" of my "future." Three more weeks before i start my last semester in UP..Twenty-one-plus more days to go, 24 hrs per day..what will happen? will everything turn out well? i just saw in CRS that i wasnt enlisted in Thesis class for next sem. i currently have a problem with one MST subject, Environmental Science 1, which i have taken four years ago, and i would have to add another unit if i dont settle the matter on time. i have to study for NMAT in less than two months. i am still not sure if i will pursue medicine. 220 people are going to LDMC, with the campsite having a capacity for only 200 people. The IVCF vehicle cant be used to transport materials to the campsite. i have this one paper left to do, which i havent started yet, and i need to read plenty of resources to support my points, and i have to finish it before thursday. CBC leadership council meeting will be held this coming thursday and friday, and i am entitled to come (or so i think..i miss u tagaytay!!). We havent had our Exec meeting for 2 weeks (i miss u exec!)..and plenty of other things. But i trust in the Lord. And there always comes a wonderful feeling when he proves to me that He is worthy of my trust, and that He holds the world, even me.
try it for yourself. taste and see that the Lord is good indeed.
posted by bij013 at 2:43 AM
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